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A Remarkable Likeness

Updated on September 26, 2013

The background; leading to the confusion

My friend, Steve, became very excited because he had been gaining quite a bit of attention following his photograph having appeared in his Local Newspaper.

He showed me the cutting, and wondered if I could explain to him why it had caused such a plethora of visitors to his simple little home in the lovely town in which he resides, in the County of Essex.

I think our Steve appeared in the Local Paper under the heading of his being “a possible future Poet Laureate”. I think the Poet Laureate business is all up to the Queen, but she had been busy buying a toaster for her grandson who has just been married. She had read a hub by Mark Ewbie @ http://hubpages.com/profile/Mark+Ewbie and was really excited about the whole business.

http://hubpages.com/hub/Best-Buy-One-Slice-Toaster

Perhaps you have heard of this… the marriage, I mean, not the toaster.

My friend has just pointed out that she didn’t give him a toaster, after all. Apparently she decided on conferring Knight of the Garter on the lad, instead. Her grandson quite liked the idea. After all, the Syrian Ambassador had already given him a toaster, but if you ask me, he’ll want it back.

Regardless, these are some of Steve’s poems that caught the attention of the Royal Household. Have a read, and see if you think that the nomination for Poet Laureate is deserved or not.

www.stevefranklinpalmer.moonfruit.com


Photo of Steve as it appeared in his Local Newspaper


My reply which I penned to him, as soon as I received the cutting, is as follows:

“I recognise this. It's the missing fragment of the Turin Shroud.

Now you'll have a stream of foreigners beating a path to your door”.

The Turin Shroud - an orderly queue in Lviv, Ukraine, lining up to kiss it on Easter Day. (I don't know what it was doing there... I thought it belonged in Turin)
The Turin Shroud - an orderly queue in Lviv, Ukraine, lining up to kiss it on Easter Day. (I don't know what it was doing there... I thought it belonged in Turin)
Steve's cottage in the country
Steve's cottage in the country

The Turin Shroud


Let me clarify my last remark,
As regards the Turin Shroud
Attracting hordes of foreigners;
A multiethnic crowd.




Foreign Chaps love the chance of thronging to Shrines and going on Pilgrimages and all that stuff
Foreign Chaps love the chance of thronging to Shrines and going on Pilgrimages and all that stuff


They’ll beat their ways to your front door

In well ordered lines, you’ll find

For foreigners are Catholics

Or people of that kind.




Whilst Englishmen, on their days out,  Play by the foamy brine
Whilst Englishmen, on their days out, Play by the foamy brine



Whilst Englishmen, on their days out,

Play by the foamy brine.

The other ones, the Foreign Chaps,

Make for a Holy Shrine.



So you, my friend are not,

As you'd thought, the loadstone there.

But simply the gentle guardian

Of that Relic in your care.

Turin Cathedral - In Turin (where it belongs)
Turin Cathedral - In Turin (where it belongs)

Comments

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    • steve of ian fame profile image

      steve of ian fame 

      6 years ago from Essex

      Well, now that I am published upon Kindle I am surprised that you have not done a hub called, Steve, my part in his downfall.

    • Twilight Lawns profile imageAUTHOR

      Twilight Lawns 

      7 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

      RunAbstract, I am really pleased that you like my little effort. Please have a nosey around, there's more where that came from.

    • RunAbstract profile image

      RunAbstract 

      7 years ago from USA

      Very clever! I enjoyed this alot!

    • Twilight Lawns profile imageAUTHOR

      Twilight Lawns 

      7 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

      A little addendum, Seeker. I like your dog. Is he or she a Border Collie?

      Now breakfast.

    • Twilight Lawns profile imageAUTHOR

      Twilight Lawns 

      7 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

      Thank you Seeker. I have just seen that you are following me, and for that I say another "Thank you". But I have just read your profile, and when I have had my breakfast (Yes, it's only 12:33) I will have a delve. I think I am going to like what I have found.

    • Seeker7 profile image

      Helen Murphy Howell 

      7 years ago from Fife, Scotland

      Just one word or maybe two - awesome, brilliant!! Have kept this as a favourite. LOL.

    • Twilight Lawns profile imageAUTHOR

      Twilight Lawns 

      7 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

      I hope it made you smile. It's true... all the way to the last full stop (Hee! hee!)

      Thanks for visiting, and all your support.

    • Healing Touch profile image

      Laura Arne 

      7 years ago from Minnetonka, MN

      Awesome. I love this.

    • Twilight Lawns profile imageAUTHOR

      Twilight Lawns 

      7 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

      My goodness, Steve, You've rumbled me, at last.

      I thought you would never guess.

    • steve of ian fame profile image

      steve of ian fame 

      7 years ago from Essex

      RULES FOR DEALING WITH IAN.

      Rule (1) Never believe anything Ian says.

      Rule (2) In the unlikely event of truth, rule (1) applies.

    • Twilight Lawns profile imageAUTHOR

      Twilight Lawns 

      7 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

      Nellie, my friend, I have always felt that one can never have too many armadillos. However, I doubt if Steve would be too happy in their company. He has enough trouble with coming to terms with garlic; but that's another story.

      I've vaguely heard of 'Atlas Shrugged' and 'The Fountainhead' but vaguely is the correct word to use here.

    • Twilight Lawns profile imageAUTHOR

      Twilight Lawns 

      7 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

      Mark, I Hub Hopped once, and I seem to remember that I quite enjoyed it, but I forgot what I was doing halfway through. I take so long to read new hub that come up as e-mails that I despair of ever having a life. I am the slowest reader that you have ever witnessed. I don't move my lips when I do, but I'm just about one stage above that.

      OK, as you recommend Hub Hopping, I shall have another go.

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 

      7 years ago from TEXAS

      Maybe not a Philistine, but I'm wondering whether the UK really is some sort of a concentration camp in which other influences are locked out and/or the inmates locked in.

      But since you include 1945 in what you've not HEARD of, though, I'm encouraged that perhaps you HAVE heard of either Ayn Rand (y'know, "Atlas Shrugged" and "The Fountainhead" - serious stuff!) . . and/or "Love Letters" (which surprised me due to its departure from her other stuff). I realize that 1945 was before your time, but I suspect that it's crossed your attention! hehe

      Now to clarify about my habitat, though. I do have a home, home on the range. I would hesitate to trade time there for time in Steve's lovely cottage in Essex. Of course, he'd be welcome to visit there, but it is actually 500 miles away from my city residence here in Dallas, which is short on armadillos, though there are ample squirrels, as I've mentioned. In fact, I've never seen an armadillo at the ranch, come to think of it. Rattlesnakes, perhaps, but no armadillos. Must protect this bugger from any such creatures!

    • Mark Ewbie profile image

      Mark Ewbie 

      7 years ago from UK

      Hey Twilight, no Poirot necessary - you are one of a very few that I follow. The spellchecker is probably American or owned by Google or something.

      Oh, and it's great to be here. Twilight do you ever hub hop? It's nice to read some words the writer actually cares about.

      edit: I just got 'winkle'. Bit slow on the uptake.

    • Twilight Lawns profile imageAUTHOR

      Twilight Lawns 

      7 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

      Hi, Mark (or should you be addressed as Hercule Poirot?). Glad you managed to plunged the depths or rubbish scribbling and winkle me out (Notice the reference to a day at the seaside... Margate or Clacton or one of those places close to the foamy brine).

      Actually, I thought that lodestone was the correct spelling myself, but the spell checker took over, I have the most deplorable typographical skills and have to rely on SpellCheck all the time.

      Don't forget to tie a handkerchief at all four corners and... Oh! I see you know what to do already.

      Great to see you here.

    • Twilight Lawns profile imageAUTHOR

      Twilight Lawns 

      7 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

      Nellie, you must think that I am a Philistine, but I haven't even heard of Ayn Rand or 'Love Letters'... or even 1945.

      As I pointed out to Sally, dear Steve has a rather limited understanding of the rest of the world. The closest idea he has of the whereabouts of the USA (or Texas in Particular) was a recent journey he made to a KFC. He came back in a state of extreme excitement, maintaining that he had entered another zone, but we had to sit him down with a cup of strong sweet tea and explain that Kentucky Delights were simply a form of pudding, and that he was still in Essex (and had been for all that morning).

      So I think, at this stage of his career, it would be unwise to introduce him to a ranch, and thought of he and an armadillo meeting at any stage (whether in the confines of your lovely home, or home, home on the range) would not be a very good idea.

    • Twilight Lawns profile imageAUTHOR

      Twilight Lawns 

      7 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

      Thanks, Sally, for dropping by. So nice to see you and your interest in properties on this side of the Pond. I'll ask Steve if he would consider a house swap, but there will be difficulties there.

      Our Steve, sweet and kind as he is, has a very rudimentary understanding of Geography. When speaking to him recently I discovered that he has little idea of the locations of Puerto Rico, Pakistan or Paris, but thought that they were somewhere in the country of Africa.

      He might be willing to travel TOWARDS Texas, but having turned left at Athens would get lost somewhere in Azerbaijan, and you would have to stay in his house forever... and you wouldn't like that, would you?

    • Mark Ewbie profile image

      Mark Ewbie 

      7 years ago from UK

      Hi Twilight - bother. I thought aha loadstone, I'll have the beggar. But I see it can be spelt either way - my quest continues.

      Nice poem, pictures and thinking - btw. I'm off to paddle in the salty brine.

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 

      7 years ago from TEXAS

      Oh, my, Ian! This is entirely too incredible! It's more incredible than my discovery that Ayn Rand wrote the screenplay for the 1945 movie, "Love Letters"! You doubt it? It's true!

      Tell Steve that I'd trek a pilgrimage just to admire that adorable cottage of his! I see that Truckstop Sally and I have the same idea about that! (Must be the humdrum architecture here in our beloved Texas, huh, Sally?)

      Anyway, my dear Ian, I am soooo glad to see you writing! Of course the shroud of Turin is a most venerable subject and should do wonders for your - ahem - other wee problem!

      Hugs.

    • Truckstop Sally profile image

      Truckstop Sally 

      7 years ago

      Fun hub! Pictures are great! Ask Steve if he'll trade homes with me -- like in the movie Holiday. Los Angeles / London. I am in Texas!

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