Am I a Sinner?
As Paul described, "The good that I would I do not, and the evil that I would not it is that which I do." (Romans 7:19)
Everyday. I find myself doing things that are self-destructive and make me a lesser person. I find myself saying things that hurt others, or hurting other by not saying things. On those days, you can be sure the things I am thinking are giving birth to those words and actions. These are thoughts, words, and actions that deviate from the natural order and separate me from the peace of knowing that I am contributing positively to the common good of the unfolding universe.
The strange thing is, deep within me I don't want to think, say, and do these things. I don't want to be the lesser person; I want to be the better person, I know I can be. I want to live by contributing to other people's happiness, not their misery. In each moment of each day, I find myself caught in a struggle. I am divided. No different from you, I find myself experiencing "that certain internal conflict."
Am I a sinner? Is this what makes me eligible for membership in the spirit of forgiveness? One man didn't come to die on this earth just for the healthy, he purposely came for the sick, and the spirit continues to do the work. I am imperfect, but I am full capable of change and growth. Imperfect, but perfectible. The spirit holds me in my weakness, comforts me in my limitations, endeavors to heal me of my sickness, and nutures me back to full health-making me "whole" again.