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Angel in My Closet

Updated on November 17, 2016
Seafarer Mama profile image

Seafarer Mama/Karen enjoys writing about spirituality as it is expressed in our everyday lives.

Palpable Knowledge of Love

A Warm, Breezy Night

It was a warm night in early May of 1996. The windows in my room were open, and a soft breeze ruffled my ivory curtains, making the paisley-patterned seashells on them dance. The light from a desk lamp lit up the room as I lay on my bed beside the desk. I had just hung up my purple phone in its cradle, tears streaming down my face. My head was pounding. My stomach was clenched in a ball of knots. I braced myself for another long night of preparing lessons.

Painful Relationships

I finally found a way to escape from the cold voice of Kevin, my boyfriend at the time, who renumerated all the ways in which I was failing our relationship by not being as fiscally affluent as he was. There was no love in his voice when he spoke to me at the end of a long day. The phone calls between us became very painful and this evening's was the worst. It was time to let go and give myself more peace of mind.

My relationship with Kevin was not the only thing that was a source of pain for me at the time. It was the final semester of my M.Ed., and my Cooperating Teacher could find little that I was doing right as a Student Teacher. The Liaison between the school and the university agreed more readily with the Cooperating Teacher when she was being paid to be my advocate. My mother and I were estranged because she dwelt only on how deeply in debt I was whenever we spoke. There was always contention in her voice. The icing on that cake was my roommate, who could often be heard screaming at her cat outside my door. I suffered from migraines on a weekly basis.

Pictures of Peace, Joy and Beauty

Sunset Over Breckenridge, Colorado
Sunset Over Breckenridge, Colorado | Source
The path to peace and paradise
The path to peace and paradise | Source
My daughter and I looking out upon the Charles River from the Esplanade.
My daughter and I looking out upon the Charles River from the Esplanade. | Source

In the Face of Despair there was Peace

After I hung up with Kevin that night I wept. It was a soul-wrenching weep that spent all the grief I held inside. What would I do? How would I pick up the pieces of my life that lay shattered on the hardwood floor? Then, somewhere in the midst of my despair, I could feel someone in the room. I could not see this being, but I felt a palpable comforting presence, emanating from the entrance to my clothes closet at the opposite side of the small room, just a few feet away from the bed. This being stayed with me no longer than five minutes, yet that comfort and peace has stayed with me for the past 13 years.

A Life Full of Blessings

I’ve since concluded that my heavenly visitor that night must have been either my deceased maternal grandmother or an angel. Perhaps it was the angel Cassiel, comforter in times of loneliness and despair. Even after this being departed from my room, I continued to relax. I began to feel that everything would be okay. I remembered how supportive my Aunt Lucy and my friend Susan were. They helped me keep my sanity that semester. I could laugh a bit as I looked at the card my Aunt had recently sent me, reminding me to “hang in there.” I remembered my friend Susan’s laugh and the funny messages she liked to leave for me on the answering machine.

I survived my final semester and graduated on June 1, 1996 with an M.Ed. in Elementary Education and a Massachusetts state teaching certificate. I broke up with Kevin in May of 1996 and in July of 1997 I met the love of my life, Edward. We were married on September 28, 2001 and we have been blessed with a heavenly little daughter. I have also been blessed with the opportunity to home-school her with the support of a rich home-schooling community throughout central Massachusetts. My relationship with my mother is much better now, too. That may have something to do with becoming a mother myself. Most importantly, I have kept hope and faith since then because, at the time I felt most lost, God remembered me and sent one of His angels to make sure I knew I was loved.

A Southern Gospel Revival singing "Angel Band"

© 2010 Karen A Szklany


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    • Seafarer Mama profile image

      Karen A Szklany 5 years ago from New England

      Thank you for stopping by and reading, Marlene. :0) Nothing like a visit from our guardian angel to help us restore our faith that we are loved and cared for.

      BTW ~ Have you ever seen the "Wim" Wenders films "Wings of Desire" and "Far Away, So Close?" The movie "City of Angels" was based on "Wings of Desire." My family Just loves those movies.

    • MarleneB profile image

      Marlene Bertrand 5 years ago from Northern California, USA

      This is a story of love and how our Father cares so much for us that when we need Him most, He sends comfort to us in the way that will be most fulfilling. I really enjoyed your story and glad I had this opportunity to read it because it helps me remember to keep the faith, no matter what is happening. When I need help, it will be there.

    • bac2basics profile image

      Anne 5 years ago from Spain

      Hi Karen. It´s already done. Thanks for your great comment, and lovely fan mail too. really appreciate it :)

    • Seafarer Mama profile image

      Karen A Szklany 5 years ago from New England

      Thank you so much for your lovely comments, to this hub, bac2basics...and for sharing your personal ex perience!

      Yes, it is okay to link this hub with on of yours....I'd be honored.

    • bac2basics profile image

      Anne 5 years ago from Spain

      Hi seafarer. I can relate entirely with what I have just read. I moved to Spain in 2002 with my dear husband Hearty, the love of my life. Sadly I lost him to cancer just short of a month before our 2 year anniversary here. It took years and years to come to some semblance of normality after his death , but I knew he was with me, and I would be OK. A few years down the line things really got on top of me so much I had a nervous breakdown. During this time I was having a continual panic attacks. It was so bad one morning I actually vomited. As I was rinsing my face and looking at myself in the mirror, an overwhelming feeling came from outside of me and I knew at that moment I would get through everything life was throwing at me. I was being looked after and everything would be OK.

      If we are open to believing, we can all feel the presence of our Angels. I think they are our loved ones coming back in spirit.

      I am going to link this hub with at least one of mine, I hope this is OK with you. I am so pleased your life turned around. You sound very happy now :) Great hub and voted up.

    • Seafarer Mama profile image

      Karen A Szklany 7 years ago from New England

      Thank you for your kind words, CapturedWord. Best of luck on your journey as a writer here on Hub Pages.

    • CapturedWord profile image

      CapturedWord 7 years ago from United States

      I like your account of an angel being with you.:) Great story. God Bless you in your works. Peace.