- Religion and Philosophy
Answer to atheistchick
So you were an Atheist then found Christ? Now how did that work? SO you weren't a true Atheist...a true ATHEIST never gives up the truth
"Now how did that work"...
Slowly, little by little, that's the way it worked for me. I started off with the normal garbage Sunday School teachings that immunised me against Church as they never actually got around to introducing me to Christ.
Aged 11 years I started earning cash and exploring life, started smoking at 9 years of age, started fumbling with girls aged 13, started stealing about the same time, smoked hash for the first time at 15 years (it had only just become mainstream, before that (1965) it was mainly blacks and jazz musicians that smoked dope) dropped out of school and started work (took a drop in 'salary') aged 15 also.
Opened a folk club aged 16, started direct selling door to door aged 17, worked and was trained by some of the best scam artists of the time in how to extricate folks hard earned cash from them in 3 hours, longer if they struggled.
Lived in a luxury cottage set amongst fields on a horse stud in Kent at 19, had my nervous breakdown at 21.
God had no place in my life, I was never a militant atheist as we see today, but then it was still something you kept quiet about in those days.
When folk spoke of religion I just nodded and ignored them, the question of hell never bothered me as I did not believe it existed, I was assured that only ME could make my destiny work in my favour and all others were just part of the food chain I fed off.
For the next few years I just enjoyed myself, money was either abundant or scarce but either way it made little difference, there was always someone to con or touch for cash, and the world was top heavy in money then.
At 28 years old I was down in the Far East for the first time delivering armament tenders to Generals and chasing a guy who owed my 'boss' money, almost had him killed, OK murdered, but stopped the hit at the last moment, not for ethical grounds, just because I worked out I was the 'fuse' that could be removed to distance my boss from the hit if it went wrong, and as the guy was married to a generals daughter, there was plenty of scope for it to go wrong.
Back in the UK we started a Central London Estate agency after short period selling Spanish property off 'inspection flights' (another rip-off) and made our first million or so, then started the transition.
My associates wanted me to stand for parliament (any party, they wanted folk in all camps to support their endeavours) and I became slightly disillusioned with what I found when I spoke to parliamentarians I knew (and we had 125 on our books at the Estate Agency) and found that they were all just shrills in disguise.
About then I realise that I was not happy with life, my smile was a false politicians smile, and although I was telling more truth and less lies, it was only for practical purposes, as truth sold houses then.
A split with my long term partner (to whom I had been serially unfaithful) left me living in Spain, and my dope smoking became much heavier, as well as mixing with some of the well known 'faces' of the British underworld, and a whole plethora of folk who had 'been there' lifewise and were strange to say the least.
The smoking opened up my psyche and slowly I started to become spiritually aware, and graduated to using witchcraft and all the associated esoteric stuff that accompanies it.
At 38 years old my son was born, that was a revelation moment, and was possibly the start of my turning to faith in God.
These changes are slow and subtle, but once we abandon God, we become open to other forces out there.
The crux point was on my 40th birthday, when I was isolated and alone completely, living in my detached villa in Spain, with no company, no dope, no cash and no hopes.
I stood in the olive grove that was besides my house and shouted "If you exist, you had better make yourself known to me" it was obviously heard and responded to and series of supernatural things happened over the next 18 months.
My final coming to faith was simply to get out from under the spiritual forces I had invoked and invited into my life, which is the wrong reason to come to faith, but hey! God sorted out the small print later.
You state that a true atheist never gives up the truth, which is fine, as long as you continue holding that what you then know is still truth.
A wise person never precludes that there may be more truth to find.
I still learn daily, research and read daily to check my life against Gods truth, should that ever fail to match up, then I would need to make the next change, but for the last 20 years life has just got clearer and easier to live.
Eternity is a bonus, the life we live is a joy in the present time.
Don't waste too much of it, I wasted 41 years before I found inner peace and pleasure with God.