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Are You a Cougar?
By: Toni Tucker
To Be or Not To Be a Cougar...
I could be a cougar. Courteney Cox is a cougar. At least she plays one on ABC-TV. There was another network TV program with a 40 plus woman who was a cougar who had some 20 odd 20 plus year olds vying for her affection. A cougar. Sounds like Satan 'like a roaring lioness looking for whom she may devourer.' I haven't been in a relationship in nearly 25 years, for real, and I look up and it's way past 2000 it's 2010 and I am still single, still hopeful, and considered cougar age. I tell you why I would be considered a cougar. I like young men. 33 to 38 is the age group I'd personally like to see myself hook up with. I don't look a day past 35 with God's grace, clean living, and with the help of Clairol's Light Golden Brown hair-color. I keep the greys covered. As God keeps me covered. However, sometimes I start to slack on the coloring, but God never wavers in his protection of me.
Now, any weight gain is because I like to eat and don't exercise like I used too. I'm not dating maybe that would be more of an incentive. I do exercise, sometimes. I just can't find a tennis partner. I 've been carrying my Wilson tennis racks and balls in the trunk of my car for six years, I will play a tennis match or two to go. "Tennis anyone?" Will travel! The running and jumping and huffin' and puffin' is fun and good for the body. I've tried with my younger cousin, she can't play, and her little brother was the go-for, he went for the balls and collected them.
Did I say I haven't dated, well I haven't been asked. Not seriously at least. Maybe by some long distance scary looking Internet guys. Yikes! I see why so many of these Internet men don't post a picture, some of the pictures posted scream, "I just got out of the joint", "I repeat, I am not a rapist, or a psycho." And judging from the pictures the list go on and on. Just tell me, why do so many of these guys from all ethnicity's think it's appealing to post a picture with their shirts off?! Can they not afford a shirt, or is that suppose to be a turn-on. It's a turn-off to me, present yourselves in a manly manner. It just sends the WRONG message. Good bye Internet dating, let us part in peace. You haven't worked for me in the past nor in the present, and probaly not in the future.
I am told and have been told by men and women of all ages and ethnicity's all of my life how pretty and how beautiful I am. I think more importantly I have a great inner beauty and that only helps the outer appearance. Some men are put off by my knowledge on a myriad of issues. Maybe that scares men away. A married brother in Christ, an older man, once told me my personality is so strong that I'll either attract weak men or run away solid strong men. Thanks Brother! Is that my problem? Do I need to dumb down to get a solid strong man? My advisor was a Caucasian brother in the Lord. So insightful. Did I mention I was an equal opportunity available woman? You can be of a different ethnicity, just be single, saved, sharing, sexy, and SANE.
I started liking young white boys in my early 40's. By then, I had just given up on the 'Brothers'. All of them were either, married, taken, bi, tri, stingy, or just not right for me, that's what I personally have faced. There was this handsome single guy, he had sandy blond hair, blue/green eyes, and he was 'down with the people.' His name was, (I mentioned his name because, nobody reading this knows him, at least I hope not) Ryan. I met him in Indiana a few years ago. He was the Director of a marketing firm I used to work for. When our eyes first met, it was a mutual attraction. But when he found out I was living a Christian life and had prior TV experience, he seemed turned off. As if he wanted someone less informed. Nothing came of nothing. I left the job because I then moved to the Sunshine state.
There, I met a handsome 21 year old who seemed wise beyond his years. He was intelligent, the Assistant Director of a company I worked for, and seemed to really like me at first as well. Until his true personality unraveled and I found out he had a poor attitude towards blacks in general. And he came off as arrogant and as a womanizer. He had a girlfriend and a 1 year old at the time. A couple of years later, I heard that his girlfriend hanged herself in front of their then 2 year old son. The guy found her. What a sad story. By then, I was head over hills for someone else I thought was the most handsome blond blue eyed guy this side of Brad Pitt. He was only 28 years old and I thought he was older. He had a girlfriend too, but, word is he flirted and had relationships with other girls on the job. Everyone that is except me.
So, I've been visiting the Christian singles, E-Harmony, and all of the other mating and dating websites for a mate and after 6 years have come up with absolutely zero! I don't look for men over 38 because most of them have either, had their children, or don't want children. I've never paid for these sites, I've only used the free part. Why should I pay to meet someone? After all these years, if God can't do it for me than skip it. And, I'll keep my money in my pocket. And as long as mother nature visits me regularly, and considering all the suffering her monthly visits sometimes have caused, I want to put her to use before it's too late. I want to be a mommy. I want to have a baby or two of my own. These older men don't want that. Some of the younger men don't even want children. But, I need a youngin' to help me with his energy and chase and raise our babies.
Unless God has a total different take on the age of the man I'll eventually marry, that's my preference. Does that make me a cougar? Most men have children these days in their 20's and 30's and by the time they are in their 40's they either have grown children and grandchildren, or have decided not to have them at all. Men in their 50's, they're looking forward to retirement. I'm still trying to date, let alone retire. God would have to bring a really special man in my life to change my mind. Although, nothing has happened yet.
So what do you think? If you are in your early to mid to late 40's and still look young and function young, would you want to get married to a younger man by 12 to 25 years and have a child or two? Or are you an older 40 something year old woman who feels old and wrinkly and that it's over for all that stuff? You just don't want to go the Cher route. Do you consider yourself a cougar or a kitty-cat? Or are you just waiting for Mr. Right still with baited breath, or with a super natural faith and eagerness, not understood by many?
Take the poll.