Asking Death for Advice
Yes, I get angry sometimes – angry at myself for being angry. At such a point in time, I have to stop and ask Death for advice. It is the only sensible thing to do. Plus, Death is always with me – beside me. It is my one constant Amigo: I can always talk to It. I trust It: “Death is an Adviser.”
“Death is our eternal companion … It is always to our left, at an arm’s length … It has always been watching you. It always will until the day it taps you … An immense amount of pettiness is dropped if your death makes a gesture to you, or if you catch a glimpse of it, or if you just have the feeling that your companion is there watching you.” - “Journey to Ixtlan”
Indeed if I concentrate on my death, I feel my left arm and shoulder a little colder. It is here with me; always just as Don Juan said and his words echo in my mind: “It may tap you at any moment, so really you have no time for crappy thoughts and moods. None of us have time for that.” That is why I'm Mr. Happy.
That is also when I get angry at myself for being angry. All that does though is to send me asking questions which ultimately result into a state of laughter: the bloody ego … always gets mad and angry. It always thinks it is right and that it has some sort of importance when in fact as Pascal said at some point, “a drop of water” is enough to kill us. The ego is trouble (if it gets its way). As lonely individuals, we are really nothing in the grand scheme of things. I often ask myself: “Would the world have a hick-up if I croaked today?”
I do try to assume responsibility for my actions though. “In a world where death is the hunter there are no small or big decisions. There are only decisions that we make in the face of our inevitable death.”
“Everybody die regardless who first or who last” Vinnie Paz – Where is the ego left after this?
I turned to my left and asked my death that question and all I got was a smile. I felt the smile and I thanked It.