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Can A Christian Date a Non-Christian?

Updated on September 2, 2020
Jennifer N Garcia profile image

Jennifer, best known as Jenn, loves writing and is a big fan of poetry as well. When she isn't writing or reading she is exploring.

Believe you have someone special? Does he have the same beliefs? Are you doubting it might work? Then you have come to the right place if you want to know about how different beliefs can affect a relationship and what God's word says about it.

What is Uneven Yoke?

The Bible defines it on 2 Corinthians 6: 14 - 17:

"14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?

16 And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk-in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.

17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you."

Think of it like this: There is a cow and an ox, if the farmer decides them to pair them up to plow the land he will put a yoke on them both to connect them. When this happens, what one does can affect the other. For example, if the ox grows tired he falls and the cow will not have the strength to stay up and eventually will fall as well. The same thing will happen in a relationship where one partner falls and becomes part of the world we live in. Eventually, you might as well fall and get farther and farther away from God. Remember, that we are in this world but we aren't from here just like Jesus isn't from the world. (John 17:16)

This is how cows/ox are yoked and when it's uneven and one falls eventually the other one will.
This is how cows/ox are yoked and when it's uneven and one falls eventually the other one will.

Have you thought about how this will affect your future? Have you thought about how long life will be with this person? Do you think it can work? I would like for you to also understand the this doesn't mean:

  • Different faith marriages will not work.
  • That being Christian will guarantee us we will make good choices in our marriage.
  • Nor that as Christians we will be an example of marriage.

Although there are different marriages no marriage or relationship should be judged and the partners should not believe it will not work for what God has made is perfect.(Ecclesiastes 3:11)

How does this affect the future?

Remember Adam and Eve, in Genesis 2:24 it states the following:

"24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh"

Now think about how can you be able to marry someone who is not Christian and will then later become an obstacle or boundary. Remember what Mark 8:34 says?

"34 And when he had called the people unto him with his disciples also, he said unto them, Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me."

You and your partner must be able to take your cross and carry it to follow Jesus but, will your partner let you if their non-christian. They will start doubting and hurt you spiritually because if your partner is dead spiritually they might lead you to your own spiritual death. Remember that above all things protect your heart because there come the issues of life. (Proverbs 4:23)

Marriage in Jesus Christ:

You must also understand what marriage should be like. According to Ephesians 5: 31-33, it should be more than just companionship, it should also display the glory of God at work through your relationship.

John Piper, founder and senior teacher of desiringGod.org, says the following, "Marriage Exists ultimately to display the covenant-keeping love between Christ and His church. If you are married, that is why you are married. If you hope to be, that should be your dream."

When Jesus Christ unites something there is no man on Earth or any other force in the world that can tear it apart. All the different problems and situations can try but it is unbreakable. That is the strong force and power that God has to unite us to the one's he wants us to be with. This force is even more powerful than the strings of commonality and instead by the Spirit of God. He lives, breathes, and works in us and through us. The Spirit of God is the only one that can guarantee us that we will have the power and will to love, confess, sacrifice, give, and forgive one another.

When both partners in a relationship are following God's word and Spirit and is letting him work in their relationship and lives they will then have will power to say no to their sin and flesh rather than let it rule them. There must also be a strong foundation in their lives and let God be the center of their relationship.

Something that happens a lot is that they are fear-driven into a relationship that might not be theirs or for them. God only wants us to make good relationship choices in our lives and not base it off our fear of being alone forever. He wants us to make these choices with faith, the faith of God being faithful, that he is good and that His great plan four our lives is worth the wait. Don't settle for anything less than what God wants for you.

Many times we want to help our partner come to Jesus Christ's feet and confess their sins and convert to Christianity and become part of Jesus's church and body, but not always. It never hurts to at least try to help him/her convert and here are some tips that can help you:

  1. You must first, strengthen your relationship with God, let him decide and speak to you if you should go ahead and help your partner or leave him.
  2. Love God above all things, even your partner.
  3. Fear the Lord
  4. Pray for each other and sometimes you can even pray together.
  5. Church time before date or God Time over Babe Time
  6. Study God's Word Together
  7. Ask God to help you change your attitude so you can be an example of being with God and so God can speak through you to him/her.
  8. Help each other grow in your relationship with God.
  9. Be reminded that your partner is fearfully and wonderfully made by God just like you and me.
  10. Apply 1 Corinthios 13:4-8 in your lives
  11. You can also ask the spiritually-mature leaders of the church for counseling.
  12. Wait to have any sexual relations until marriage.
  13. Eventually, if you believe he/she has changed you can get married through the law and church. Don't ever stop serving the Lord together, make relationship goals (for example: read the bible 30 minutes every day.), and treat each other with grace - just like how Jesus treats you.

You must also understand that if it comes down to having to make a decision you have only two:

  1. You can either let go of your partner and concentrate on God and do what he asks of you and wait in his plan.
  2. Or you can leave God and go with your partner and have a different life with your partner.

Whatever you choose you must evaluate and understand that both will hurt but you need to know how both affect you. It is your decision but take everything into consideration.

Every marriage and relationship is different and as I have said before just because you have different beliefs as your partner it doesn't mean it won't work out. Just like how Christian marriages sometimes have problems as well. Hope this helped in any way to clear things up for your decisions. God Bless You and enjoy your life. If you have any other questions you can always contact me through my Gmail, sooner or later I will respond.


© 2020 Jennifer N Garcia

Comments

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  • Ericdierker profile image

    Eric Dierker 

    11 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

    Interesting and well written. I am more of a love fellow myself.

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