Discouragement

In the twilight of an Oregon summer night, the half-moon projects a mystical glow. Cool mountain air flows with the gentle sounds of cricket music. A glimmering star curtain unfurls to reveal a celestial vision of power and energy that transcends all human worry, doubt, and fear.

Tonight I am more at peace, but I still struggle with discouragement. A part of me obsesses and worries about an uncertain financial future. This negative side is unforgiving, self-critical, and emotionally abusive.

At age 60, it appears overwhelming and even impossible to change the direction and course of my life. As I try out new ideas and new technology to achieve my dreams and goals, I stumble and fall. So many barriers and obstacles loom on the horizon. The prospect of giving up and throwing in the towel appears to be more attractive and seductive.

My mind flashes back to the inexplicable death of a neighbor at age 57. I am further haunted by the painful passing of Farah Fawcett of anal cancer at 62. And of course, the bizarre and tragic death of Michael Jackson who was only 50, still leaves too many questions unanswered.

I ask myself why am I trying so hard to achieve my dreams, when reality smacks of karma, suffering, powerlessness, and death? And we all know about all of those bad things that keep happening to good people. Right?

I accept that evil and injustice exists in this world. I know random acts of violence and disease cause untold pain and suffering. But in these moments of despair, frustration, and discouragement, my consciousness returns to the power of the half-moon.

There is darkness but the moonlight always conquers the night. Today, I choose to thrive on that Light within.

Much of life will remain a mystery. But the stars above and the universe within will sustain me through predictable trials and life challenges. Today, I choose to embrace the majesty of life made sublimely radiant by those infinite, flashing, celestial spheres.