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Do You Walk the Walk? Loving the Hard to Love People in Your Life.

Updated on April 20, 2012

Break Free, Into the Light

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When Loving Someone Isn't Easy

Forgive Yourself..........Love Yourself..........Forgive Others..........Love Others.........

Sounds great doesn't it?

I love you, you love me, we all love the world and everyone in it, peace/love/flowers, yeah man, "it's all good".....***SCREECH!!!! and out of nowhere a car cuts you off and nearly runs you off the road, possibly injuring you, or worse, killing you or a loved one.............INSTANT ROAD RAGE ENSUES ....... you breathe, you re-group, you start to calm down. You ARE NOT thinking about loving that "idiot", of that I am sure.

BUT, what about later? Do you think about that moment and wonder what they may have been thinking? or are you still seething about it?

Maybe their mother just suffered a heart attack and they were only thinking of how fast they could get to the hospital..........OR..........maybe they weren't thinking anything and just happen to be a rude, thoughtless and selfish driver. YOU DON'T KNOW....and if you did, should it make a difference?

Would you be able to take a moment and say a quick prayer for them? Would you have it in you, to take a few minutes out of your day and mentally send them some love and light, and/or forgive them?

It's not easy is it? It's not for me anyway.

I have been diligently working on my own spiritual growth for years and I still struggle with some of the same goals that I advise and lead others to strive for. So if it's hard for you to feel like you can do those things, that's okay.........keep trying.......You get credit for your "true" and "genuine" efforts. You GROW by making the difficult, but righteous choices. And little by little, inch by inch, you succeed in achieving new levels of spiritual maturity.

The Only PERFECT Man Said.....

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It's Not "My" Advice or Guidance...It was Jesus Christ''s

43 Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy. 44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; 45That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. Matthew 5:43-45. KJV (I usually read the NIV Bible, but I love the wording of the KJV).

Jesus gave us this teaching, and he wasn't in the habit of providing us with advice just for the fun of it.


It starts with praying for help. Ask God for help, and for His wisdom in finding the path towards Him and being the person He wants you to be. Be honest with Him about your pain and anger.

As Always..SEARCH For the Answer

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When in Doubt...Always take the High Road

So, How do you love others when they are bad or hurtful?

Recently, I found myself struggling IMMENSELY with a tremendous betrayal involving selfish, greedy, immoral and unethical behavior by a "family" member. There's no value in espousing the details, because we all have to deal with people in our lives who do bad and hurtful things to us.

SO............How do you get past it internally and find it within yourself to love them and forgive them, especially when they continue to follow the unrighteous path they have chosen?

YOU TRY and YOU PRAY and YOU SEARCH FOR ASSISTANCE. What good is it for me to pose questions with no answers, or at the very least some guidance?....NONE.

There is a lot of wisdom and guidance out there. And one source, which really helped my growth in understanding how to move forward was John Townsend's book, Loving People: How to Love and Be Loved.

My struggle was not so much in loving the person who betrayed their moral duty or forgiving them, but in "how" to express that love in a way that I could get past the damage they did, and know I was living up to my own expectations.

Everyone has people who have hurt them or are "undeserving" of love "in their opinion" in their lives.

In my prayers and search for a way to find peace with the situation I found "my" answer.

The two specific excerpts which helped the most were these:

"So make sure of this: do not confuse the grace of being loving with the license of being enabling. Loving people don't put up with evil and foolishness. That is enabling and rescuing. And it never helps anyone. Instead, people who are truly loving will confront, limit and quarantine people who consistently make wrong choices." - John Townsend, Loving People: How to Love and Be Loved.

On loving a difficult or bad person:

"But think now about a toxic person in your life, even one who has caused you pain or injury. And think about the prospect of seeking and doing what is best for that person. That is a different matter.................This is not to say that there should not be justice; justice is important and may even be a form of love the person truly needs to experience. But the point is, when you grow in your capacity to love, you will find yourself caring about people in your life with less regard to how lovable they are. And the ultimate fruit of learning to love that selfish or hurtful person can often be a miracle: Your love can help them, the unlovable, to become more lovable." -John Townsend, Loving People: How to Love and Be Loved.


Keep At It

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It's All Good

So when you see so much emphasis being placed on forgiveness and love being paramount to this Awakening and New Earth Changes, don't feel like it's beyond you to accomplish great things. (go after and conquer the most difficult challenge you feel is holding you back)

You can achieve great peace and individual spiritual growth. It's a journey towards God and His higher calling for you.

Just because there are Hubs and a lot of web pages on these topics out there, doesn't mean their authors have accomplished all of those goals, they struggle with them too. Take the first step, open your heart and try, God will help you, after all, it's WHAT HE WANTS for you.


Love and Light. Let's change the World together.

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    • karmicfilly profile image

      karmicfilly 5 years ago from Franklin, TN

      Nice hub and totally understandable. We all struggle with the deeper questions of faith, forgiveness, and thoughtless behaviors in others. I guess I got lots of answers from the Gary Zukav book "Seat of the Soul". It validated what I believed and shed new light on aspects I had not really considered relevant. I truly love this topic and it occupies lots of time and thought for me. Thanks for your contribution.

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 5 years ago from southern USA

      Yes, procreate-light, let's change the world together. This is one amazing hub. So much truth spoken here for sure!!! I believe that loving those who are difficult to love, really is a challenge, but if those of us who have been sealed by the Holy Spirit, who convicts us right away, when we do not love, we are able to love those who are very difficult to love. We all have those persons in our lives, that if we just choose to love that person, then, that is when it happens, "love covers a multitude of sins," and if we are persistent in our love, slowly, there will not only be a change in ourselves, but that difficult person to love as well. "If you do not love, you do not know God." Thank you so much for writing this hub. It is awesome, and Voted up, across the board. In His Love, Faith Reaper

    • Willow Raine profile image

      Willow Raine 5 years ago from Under the Umbrella Tree

      Amazing. Simply breathtaking.

    • DanaTeresa profile image

      Dana Strang 5 years ago from Ohio

      Thank you for your support... glad to have come across you in this odd little world

    • procreate-light profile image
      Author

      procreate-light 5 years ago from Charlotte NC

      Dana, Thank you for sharing. We all have our specific obstacles, which if we take the time, and couple it with the right attitude, can usually discover our path around them. However, if safety ever becomes a concern, you can "quarantine" that select individual by removing them or yourself from the situation and love them from afar. I applaud your maturity and the patience you had in learning how to live with your "obstacle"

      I wish you strength and continued progress.

    • DanaTeresa profile image

      Dana Strang 5 years ago from Ohio

      Nice Hub! As soon as I saw this title I had to read it. Becuase I have just recently learned how not to hate. I used to hate slow drivers until I put myself in thier shoes. Maybe they are lost, or nervous, or elderly, or just feel like its the right thing to do to go the speed limit. And I have been that slow driver when I am looking for somewhere new. I love that you encourage people to consider the other person....

      I also would like to add that I live with my alcoholic grandfather who is prone to fits of blinding rage. He frequently tells me that I am useless, a dumb sh-t, a f-ing whore! He has thrown away dinners I have made and belongings of mine. I could go on for days. And he also gets me flowers and a birthday card every year. He pays some of my bills, bought new tires for my car. He is mentally ill. and I have finally come to terms with it. I don't let him control me. I don't fight with him. I just try to understand him. And I love him. And my life is so much better once I learned how to do that.

      I encourage others to follow your adivice. It doesn't mean they have to condone what awful things other people say and do. But there comes a time when you have to let go of the hate and move on. For your sake. If I didn't do that I would be far worse of than I am today.

      SORRY FOR RAMBLING. Guess this really hit home for me. Thanks.