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"Breaking up Is Hard to Do" and "Love Hurts" and Man, so Many Others. Can the Pain Subside? How Long Is the Despair?

Updated on May 7, 2020
Christofers Flow profile image

Christofer spent 10 years in family counseling. Later he obtained a Psy. D.. His focuses: Health, History, Astrology, Politics and Fables

There are so many sad Love Songs, and Artists like Neil Diamond to Make Painful Love So Gripping

Rupert Sheldrake, Biologist and Revolutionary Thinker, has developed theories on "morphic resonance", "morphic fields" and "emergent fields"

He has studied animals and humans for years and has developed the concept that fields (like magnetic fields and electromagnetic fields)

are actually a part of reality and govern and affect so much of what we see and feel around us.

Heart and Mind Thoughts

When I have counseled with couples in the past, I have noted that no matter how difficult, turbulent, or seemingly negative a relationship is, I see an absolute entanglement and interconnectedness in the couple. One woman said, "I am an Aries and he is a Scorpio! I don't know why we are attracted to each other. We seemingly can't stay happy, but we need each other somehow so much. And the longer we are together, the stronger the attraction and the more deeply entangled we become."

"Entanglements of Mind"

Rupert Sheldrake, (Please see Callout) has seen that Telephathy has been connected to learning. Sheldrake has conducted studies showing that these fields appear to exist from the very small to the sun, planets and stars and the cosmos.

"Entanglement" might seem to mean there are Negative Reasons that have brought you together to make you both learn, because you are with each other; and only you two and be each other's Angels.

Many operate under fanciful rules that seem to make love sparkle. As we take our walks and rides together, there are storm clouds, cloud bursts and sprinkles, in between sweet afternoons in each others arms in the cool fields. Remember, romance has heights and depths and convoluted pathways in and around ourselves.

How this affects astrology is not only exciting, but also theoretically fascinating as a way of explaining how astrology works, and how the soul, (a field in itself) is a product of the larger field of the solar system and thence, how those individuals relate to one another on earth. How we get our horoscope, as a product of the larger field and our souls interaction with it, begs for more thought.

The 78 potential combinations of sun signs truly create templates of growth, love and relationships. When we form couples, we bring the field of one and "entangle" it, and create what we call a couple, then what we call a family, and those small fields which we actually create and manufacture, then interrelate with the social groups and entities and fields all around us. That very important word family might be the largest word that entangles souls from one generation to another. And often explains negative commentary on a supposed family entanglement.

"Breakin' Up Is Hard To Do"

There are so many "heart break" love songs in the world that they out populate the world. It is almost that the entanglement that we do down here is so powerful and so normal that you would think that we would do it with less angst and less passion. But that is perhaps the key.

The passion and angst may not only be from the pain of losing each other, but also from the pain of getting along. And, it is painful getting along, because we are not only watching our partner trying to get along with us, we are going through the change of becoming new. Humanity is in a state of evolution and development. It is always a new day, so the sun and the stars and the Beyond are asking, no demanding that we continually engage, and continually grow.

Your Transformation Could Be Road to "Peaceful Happiness"

Transformation is the point, not just peaceful happiness. We are to be joyfully happy true, but the goal is continual growth and transformation., And we do it, inside these fields that we create as couples.

All of what we do as couples is fantastic and powerful and life changing,. However, what we are considering here is not "paranormal, it is normal, and it is not supernatural, it is natural". When I heard Sheldrake saying this during one of his lectures, a "Eureka" hit my lips. As couples engaged in the act of making new fields that have never existed before, we need to bring less pain and anxiety to the challenge, and more hopeful willingness.

Its not paranormal, its normal. It's not supernatural, its natural. Study your mate. Study yourself. See how the admixture is becoming and entanglement of goals, issues, plans, topics and journeys.

Kids - The Ultimate Demonstration of Our Entanglement

One woman recently told me in a comment: "Oh well, it's been hard and its been work, but its what we wanted, and its what we both keep on wanting. And there is this matter of three wonderful kids that are a pretty cool combination of us. It's all been worth it."

So, as you contemplate how to make a certain astrological combination work, realize there is a big thing happening to you. If the relationship is more than casual, and it is a committed combination, you need to think about the demands upon both parties, what efforts are being made, the sincerity and depth of the love being shared, and realize the "kids" of your relationship, even if you don't have kids, are the results of your union, the happiness it brings to you and others, and the richness of the entanglement and how you are making a new thing together.

Don't Say "Cursed Combinations" - Do Say "We Need Work"

Think about it this way.

"A relationship at a new and higher level. Sexual attraction and romantic involvement are much more complex and powerful than a simple materialistic "sex drive" compelling each other into each others' arms."

The making of a couple - the coming together of two distinct individuals - has powerful psychological, emotional and spiritual implications.

This is about Body, Heart and Soul.

If it really isn't, then maybe there's a simpler less painful way -- to an Exit.

© 2010 Christofer French

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    • GmaGoldie profile image

      Kelly Kline Burnett 

      11 years ago from Madison, Wisconsin

      I date a Cancer and am a Cancer and it is very similiar mood swings which helps because we understand - the circumstances are different - the feelings are the same. It is definitely a pattern as Hello, hello stated. Allot of reality and understanding to learn from this. You hit it on the head to know your attraction - analyze it thoroughly.

    • Hello, hello, profile image

      Hello, hello, 

      11 years ago from London, UK

      I can asure you, I am cured. But I read so many times that it is the ideal partnership.

    • Christofers Flow profile imageAUTHOR

      Christofer French 

      11 years ago from Denver

      Yes. This is a difficult relationship that you have learned benefits you not. The big lesson, stay away from similar types because you might be attracted for the reasons that you must deeply analyze your initial attractions.

    • Hello, hello, profile image

      Hello, hello, 

      11 years ago from London, UK

      I met and married a Scorpio and I am Aries. Looking back he cheated, lied and stole from me and I only see it now. I think Scorpios are very divious, self-centred and domineering. I have seen a number of others, including Prince Charles, which fit all the same pattern. I am divorced and he still will not let me be - knocking on my door after 10 years. Thank you for an interesting read.

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