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How can Love Control Hell.?

Updated on March 12, 2013

The Greeks' Eros, The Romans' Cupid

Eros was a lusty Greek god, and then by the time he made it around the Adriatic Sea, he evolved into chubby little cute Cupid. But the character is the same, only the names have been changed. Perhaps in this transformation from Eros to Cupid, there is a hidden secret to our human challenge. It is easy to think of erotic love in Valentines Day terms. Pretty cards, sweet sex, holding hands and cuddling. All of the warm fuzzy aspects of erotic love tend to keep us in a kind of juvenile fixation over its qualities. Perhaps it is the "will of the gods" that we are so terminally foolish about the most powerful of human activities and transforming of human subjects. After all, if we were less helpless and so easily overwhelmed, perhaps we would be more cautious. Ah, but caution is not a word that goes with Eros and Cupid.

In the original Greek tale, Aphrodite (the goddess) got mad at Psyche, (the mortal beauty) because human males were leaving Aphrodite's worship and following the beautiful Psyche around like helpless pups. This is loaded with meaning. Our individuality is first expressed and most powerfully felt as we decide who to fall in love with. And then that's the next kicker. We don't decide. We are so driven that we must consummate before we do anything else. And that's the beauty of it all. It doesn't bear pondering because it is so darned powerful, it makes "sweet victims" of us all. But you know, it really does bear pondering. We need to respect what this process is all about, because it affects eating, sleeping, thinking, thriving, behavior, finances, morality and whether we can stay sober. Look at what Cervantes wrote about it:

My name is Love, supreme my sway.
The greatest god and greatest pain,
Air, earth, and seas, my power obey,
And gods themselves must drag my chain.

In every heart my throne I keep,
Fear ne'er could daunt my daring soul;
I fire the bosom of the deep,
And the profoundest hell control.

(Miguel de Cervantes, Don Quixote, Part II, Chapter XX).

Gods drag my chain. I control hell. I have no fear. I am completely daring. Everything obeys me. And I cause the greatest pain. Oy vey! If you went up to your 15 year old son and told them about this powerful avatar in a game, you might get some attention. If you then told them it was erotic love. They would look at you blankly. Erotic love is for what boys think about every night. Its girls, girls, girls, not pain and power and agony and life-changing circumstances, is it? Put a few years on the kid and then the internal juices turn into psychological agendas. The Jews believe in marriage for lots of reasons, but a chief practical one is that a man is not worth much to society or his family if he is single for too long., We don't need to argue that one, but there is an age old issue at work. Eros and Cupid use sexual drive to transform the life of an individual. It's so powerful it starts when we are young, and continues through our vitality.

Eros Kicks Three Regular Dudes. Cupid Does 'Em In.

Hard Case #1 Mac, the Mechanic

Somehow he could not keep out of fights. He seemed to draw fists in bars. He could always hold his own. He got out of a gang when he was young, after realizing his misdemeanors would turn into felonies. He was always angry, which was why it was so easy for him to get into fights. Bourbon made him constantly irritable and just a bit edgy all the time. Going straight meant being a mechanic. His fingernails were terminally blackened by oil. He kept himself sharp otherwise. Powerfully built and hard as stone, he used sex as if it were a necessary tune up. His apartment was just nice enough that he could allow visitors for sleep overs. He wasn't a bad cook. Barbecue being his specialty and a Hungarian Stew that he learned to make from his grandmother. He always kept his feelings way down deep inside. Being a reformed brawler and a hard working guy, he started cutting back on the booze and the one night stands. He was just 270 and 6'3". A gut, but straight muscles from calves to an 18" neck. Getting healthier in his late 20's, he started noticing a waitress. All of 5'1" and 114 pounds. Eros walked into the bar on a sleepy Saturday afternoon. Her eyes flashed, and he saw something in her that made him grin. Nothing like that had ever happened to Mac before. She was single going to school and had principles; and a young daughter. He immediately stopped getting into fights. She converted his booze from Bourbon to beer. He started baby sitting, no less. He paid off his bills and really cleaned up his place. Bought a new couch. Tossed the dirty soiled one with too many smells on it. Then she demanded he replace his Ford F-150 so they could properly carry the kid. He saluted. They made a great couple sitting in the back pews on Sunday mornings. He put on a tie for the first time in his life. His best quote to his sweetheart on their wedding day was: "The idea of "mechaniking" for the rest of my life aint so bad. As long as we are together." Eros was in the back room, grinning from ear to ear. Moving the furniture around in the hell of Hard Case's life turned it into a different neighborhood for his lonely soul.

Player #2 - James the Salesman

James had everything going for him. Great job, stable career, excellent wife and three kids. Sales were hot. The recession was actually good for his stable product. But he was a "player". His 17 year old act was still going strong at 39. It was the one thing that was noticeably negative about him. Like one part of his psyche was always in flirtation mode. Of course his expense account and his "wining and dining" of clients always put him smack dab in front of temptation. Eros tends to sit in the back of restaurants and at side walk cafes. Sure enough Eros was singing his favorite song: "I Fire The Bosom of the Deep". Erotic love can make you, but just as likely, erotic love can break you and blow your remains down the road. Suzy was full of her womanhood. She loved being who she was. She wanted what she wanted, and if she was on the rebound, she had scanning eyes. This did not make her bad, but Eros has a way of picking the right characters for the proper tragedy. Players may only love you when their playing, but James lost his way, fooled around and fell in love. Some would say it was a fitting conclusion, but when it comes to Eros, its hard for any of us to judge. We can only shake our heads in wonder. James lost his wife and custody of his kids. Suzy liked late late hours, high powered German sweetened drinks and occasional drugs. James found himself bereft and only focused on Suzy. Then Suzy left. Eros made a note to himself and walked out of James' life. He almost lost his job, but losing so much, he realized his game was up and he should just focus on his job. The story is not over, but the chapter is. The "profoundest Hell controlled" -- James crawled his way to his next transition.

Workaholic #3 - Sam the Accountant

Not just cold, shiveringly distantly frosty. He was a runner and a very comfortable successful accountant. He had a crew of young aspiring employees for his solid CPA LLC. He only stayed up late during tax season and his vacations were trips to big cities to tour museums, or remote mountain settings to run and breathe in nature. Yes, of course, he was single. He saw the female as hard to approach. He wanted to engage, but he was inept socially. His degree of ineptness was in inverse proportion to his degree of efficiency and orderliness. Success has a way of covering up gnawing weaknesses from the Self. Successful people are often extremely outwardly happy, because their emptinessnesses can be filled with self-reinforcing bunting and material accoutrements. Sam was never poor. This helped him. He rocketed to success because of his good habits. But now, at this time in his life, he was up on a peak. He smiled at himself every morning for his great prominence. But his loneliness was still there. He had always been lonely. Eros targeted him and sent in a client, and Sam's life changed. She threw herself at him. No woman had every thrown herself at him. He was swimming in a turbulent sea of hormones, psychological wonder and mind-altering pleasure. Long story short. They went for a quick wedding. Led around like a distracted male goat, he ended up in divorce court, settling for sums he had kept in off-shore accounts. He ended up with a kid. And guess what, she let him have custody. Being unloosed from his former stilted state, he found a sincere person who was understanding and loving. Now he has a second child. Eros, polishes his fingernails and books out of Sam's life, having done his job once again.

Handle With Care

What Cervantes understood was there is nothing that is like Eros. Sweet, dynamite, killing, transforming, exhausting, distracting, miraculous, stupefying, fulfilling, wondrous and life-changing.  For the good, the bad and the in between.  About the best recommendation you can get is "handle with care". Be conscious and care about yourself and your partner. Use your mind, while you are using your body. The study of couples and matchings is much of what astrology pretends to do. It is not exact.  Psychology, therapy and plain old maturity all have much to offer. Eros causes so many individual tales that all the tales can't be told.

The Wonder of it All

No matter who we are, there is a way for Eros to work positively in your life. But there are no promises. That's what makes our paths so wonderfully human. "Eyes wide open" is a phrase that is meaningful. If you get on a roller coaster, the way to really cheat yourself is to close your eyes.   Why even take the ride?   Why pay the fare?  Ultimately a fulfilling romantic life is a balm. It is a soporific. It is a dessert and a feast for the fullness of your life. It can be a wonder. And if its less than a wonder, its still better than skin-whitening, gut-wrenching emptiness. Eros can tell you that. Christofer French is the Founder of

Eros and Your Stars -


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    • thevoice profile image

      thevoice 8 years ago from carthage ill

      terrific great hub great reading thanks


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