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Five Ways to Attract a Good Man

Updated on October 9, 2015

Growing up, it was the mentality of several women in my life that beauty and sex was the number one way to attract a good man. I never adapted this stereotype because I have never really pursued a relationship. Now that I'm older I have experienced a broken heart in some ways because I have often been categorized as just a pretty girl or just a sexy girl. It took prayer and devotion to God to start realizing that I was attracting bad men. Some these factors included low self esteem, idolatry and lack of independence. Now that I believe I have met the right person, I realize that some things had to change with me to attract a good man.

Here are five of the things that helped me attract a good man :

1. I drew closer to God. Drawing closer to God is the first step to any success in anything. By doing this I no longer became a weak vessel. The bible says God's strength is made perfect in weaknesses. As I developed a relationship with Christ and I learned what it means to be loved, my expectations from a man changed. For example, since Christ died for me, I expected my interest to pursue me and subdue me with affection and dedication. By doing this, when arrogant or self-seeking men came up to me, I was able to let them go.


2. I stopped pursuing a man. I realized that desperation is the number one attribute of failure. Whenever I was desperate for something, that thing became my God. Since idolatry is a sin, God was not blessing who I longed for. So I prayed more, listened to more christian songs and I loved more. By doing this I was participating in a pursance of God rather than a pursuance of a man. As much as I did this the man pursued me and I pursued God and I have never felt happier.

3. I learned about myself. I looked at myself from a valuable and positive point of view. I ignored my flaws for once. With this I was not attracting my man to my flaws but to my strengths. Even flaws looked like strengths because I saw it that way. The scripture that helped me says that, " God delights in my weaknesses." Because I was accepting my beauty and value, others were too. This lead my man to me.

4. I gained confidence. The first step to gaining confidence is looking beyond physicality. I did not love myself for my beauty, I loved myself for my heart. I also began to understand my value to my maker and with that I was becoming a strong confident woman from the inside and I attracted the like.

5. I learned to be an independent thinker. Coming from the Nigerian culture, my parents are naturally very strict. I was choosing my relationships based on the superficility of who they would like or approve of. As I became financially and mentally independent, I grew to choose who I want whether they approve or not. I remained admanant that this is my relationship and not theirs.

Finding the right man is a journey for some, but it does not have to be a long one. Remain in God so that the man will have to seek first to find you.

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