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Updated on April 8, 2015

Change Your Focus

Much of my life has been spent looking backwards and crying over "spilt milk." I have kicked myself for years over stupid mistakes I made. I walked out of situations that were good for me and stayed in situations that were bad for me. I learned the wrong lessons and then used them to gauge my response in more recent dilemmas. Not a healthy situation. I was at a loss when trying to reason with the fact that my life was falling apart. Only recently have I begun to break out of this self-destructive rut.

Focusing on the past is only a good thing when one is trying to recapture that sense of wonder we have as children and lose as we become disenchanted with and let down by the happenings of life. And things always look better when we look back on them, because we tend to forget certain aspects or we have a skewed version of what really happened because we block out the bad things.

There have been so many times that I tried to reconnect with people and places from my past, only to see that they are either not really as I remembered them, or that they have significantly changed since the times I remember. It's true that you "can never go home again."

I am okay with that. I have recently moved "into the now" and started living my life! I am no longer allowing myself to be a slave to the past or to my perception of how I perceive that things "should be." I accept people and situations for what they are. If a person's behavior or a certain situation is unacceptable, I no longer feel the need to deal with and accept it. How plain, simple and easy this has just started becoming to me. It took me years of counseling with an LCSW as well as a life coach and two and a half years in Al-Anon (a support group for the friends and families of alcoholics) to realize the state I had allowed my life to deteriorate to and the need for escape. I was feeling so trapped in a blatantly unacceptable relationship that I didn't even realize that there was a way out. Once I brainstormed about the situation and followed intuition, I scrimped and saved every extra dime until I had enough to leave.

It wasn't until I began to accept the situation for what it was that I was able to think more of how important it was to stop killing myself with stress and to start living the life God intended! Following his "Divine Design," as per Florence Scovel Shinn, I came to realize the need for drastic change. Once I accepted that I needed to make a change, I began to pray for guidance in this. I was already a Christian, but I found that as I prayed harder and more often than I ever had in the past, I had also opened up my ears to hear the answer. I opened my heart and listened for the Lord to bring me out of bondage. And He did. As I prayed for the right conditions and for the things that I wanted (as opposed to focusing on what I didn't want), doors started opening that had always been closed in the past.

And I didn't question it. I welcomed every positive thing that happened for me and gave thanks. I am not yet exactly where I want to be, but at least now, I know the path to find it. My faith is in the Lord, or "the powers that be," or my "higher power," or whatever you want to call it. I believe. Ask, believe, receive. Rub that magic lamp! I no longer feel the need to follow astrology or any other thing that promises guidance that is not of the Lord.

And while the movie, "the Secret" does not give credit for the laws of the Universe to the Lord, I do. You may turn your nose up at the movie for that very reason, but I tell you, those ideas are still made up of truth. It doesn't take away from the strength of the Lord, for those of you who are skeptical because it seems as if this is against His grain. The Lord is the source of all energy. Everything is energy. So if you believe that the Lord created everything, your beliefs are the same as mine. Such is the fabric of our lives. The thing that is not so clear in the movie is the way to achieve this.

Ask, Believe, Receive. It's right there in the Bible. Matthew 7:7, "And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you." It is so true that we must voice the desires of our heart, for it is our words that crystallize the essence of what we want. Repeating affirmations is the thing that will bring the desired result. But only if we believe that it is possible to receive anything we ask for can we truly expect to receive it.

Florence Scovel Shinn wrote a series of books, but my personal favorite is, "The Game of Life and How to Play It." She gives detailed information and examples that have helped me tremendously in my life. I have been reading this book daily lately, and I have been looking at the affirmations she wrote which give credit to the Lord and utilize the Law of Attraction as well as the Law of Karma. I also read the Bible, and I find that the stories there have taken on new meaning since I started thinking differently.

It is of the utmost importance to avoid feelings of anger, hatred, resentment and any other bad feelings (ie fear, worry) that bring on ill-health. Hoarding isn't healthy, either. While one should never be wasteful when spending money and other valuable resources, it is the willingness to let money go that invites more money into your life. It's called planting seeds of faith. You have to do this with intelligence and guidance from intuition (per Esther Hicks, your "emotional guidance system" will help you make the right decisions). Do your best not to be skeptical. You must know for yourself, beyond any reasonable doubt, that the thing you are expecting to happen can and will happen for you.

The law of attraction is a simple theory. It is as simple as the thought that, "What you think about, you bring about." Thoughts truly are things. Be careful to focus on the thing you want to happen, not on the things you are afraid of.

For example, if you are in what seems to be an impossible situation, I give you the words of Florence Scovel Shinn that, "No matter how impossible the situation seems, Infinite Intelligence knows the way out."

Some affirmations to ask for guidance were suggested as follows:

"Infinite Intelligence, give me a definite lead, let me know just what to do!"

"The unexpected happens, my seemingly impossible good now comes to pass."

"The long arm of God reaches out over people and conditions, controlling the situation and protecting my interests!"

More wonderful and insightful affirmations can be found by clicking here.


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    • advisor4qb profile image

      advisor4qb 6 years ago from On New Footing

      Thanks, Express!

    • Express10 profile image

      H C Palting 6 years ago from East Coast

      I found this very useful and motivating. Voted up. Thanks.

    • advisor4qb profile image

      advisor4qb 7 years ago from On New Footing

      Well, thank you! Glad you liked it!

    • samsons1 profile image

      Sam 7 years ago from Tennessee

      voted up & useful! good hub, keep your mind on Jesus and don't be swayed by adversity... God's way is NOT logical nor natural!

    • advisor4qb profile image

      advisor4qb 8 years ago from On New Footing

      Thanks for reading! Stop by anytime! (Glad to have encouraged you!)

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 8 years ago from London, UK

      Thanks for a very encouraging Hub. We need to read articles like this from time to time, to keep our spirits up. :)

    • advisor4qb profile image

      advisor4qb 8 years ago from On New Footing

      Thank you, thank you!

    • profile image

      mdawson17 8 years ago

      What a geat hub!

    • profile image

      mdawson17 8 years ago

      What a geat hub!

    • advisor4qb profile image

      advisor4qb 8 years ago from On New Footing

      I totally agree with you! While it is nice to have the support of a church family, it is also nice to know that God is within and that we don't need the church to access Him. That is one of the many reasons I feel so averse to the teachings of the Catholic church, in particular.

      On a spiritual level, I think people reach their personal level of monetary satisfaction as a realization that there is something more to be sought after.

      While I am definitely aware of the benefits of money (and the problems associated with not having enough, ESPECIALLY as a might-as-well-be-single parent--I separated from my husband a few months ago), I know that at some point, I will be connected enough spiritually to survive on less.

      Enjoyed this. Thanks!

    • TheAllSeeingEye profile image

      TheAllSeeingEye 8 years ago from England.

      That small voice within is called intuition, god or omniscience. It's the ability t channel into right brain hemisphere which deals with logic and creativity.

      I have nothing against people who worship an outside source of god. It's their choice and their faith.

      Prayer is no different to meditation. Both are used to connect with the divine being or god conscious. The problem with religion is that it is also a control system and its followers are told prayer is only effective under certain guidelines and rules to adhere to, whereas through meditation, one can channel into god state of mind without any rules attached.

      Religion is a cult, it only exists because of its followers who support it. Religion rely on members to keep it alive.

      Omnipresence or meditation is not a cult. Its practitioners don't rely on others to keep it alive, only the self can keep meditation alive.

      I follow no cult because of this reason. Yes I say GOD is inside of me, but how is this not a cult method? Because GOD is inside of everyone! Everybody has the ability to find a godhood state of conscious without joining any religious institution. Religion can help people channel positivity into their life, but it also can brainwash, manipulate and control people. What I am against is control systems or rules that are designed to keep sheep in line. Wars are created out of religious beliefs yet religion should never incite war but religion teaches its followers to give an eye for an eye, to do to others what they do unto them. In another sense it practices negativity too!

      With meditation and self religion or spirituality you are bound to no rules, but to find god hood state of conscious you must welcome all dualities of emotions but focus only on positive ones. Positivity will always prevail over negativity. How do I know this? I practice it and am aware of it. I welcome any emotion into my life, but know how to transcend above negative emotion through the power of thought or right brain hemisphere.

      My religion consists of this mentality. Everything is equal and everything evolves together. A savage mentality can only be taught by others. When we are born we are born with a balanced mind ready to learn our lessons of a new life. We also are born with no restrictions and we are naturally exploratory and of free will. It is control methods that install fear and hate in all of us. If we only knew love from the start then everyone would be kind and good natured. Instead we are taught to be afraid, to be scared and to be defensive. We are taught to compete against each other for a better life. We are all chasing external dreams and material satisfaction. Yet when we get what we want, get the good job, get the flash car, get the large house we are left with an empty feeling. Money and material things does not bring deep understanding and abundance of self. Many people are never really happy although possessing all the money and material things available to them. What they lack is self love, the feeling to feel good no matter what outside influences stand in their way. Money and greed, power and control are only gained through negativity and on many of occasions through stresses. The body craves for more yet is never fully satisfied. Material things and money is a quick fix or temporary buzz. Spirituality and enlightenment is permanent happiness if channelled in a positive light.

      Thanks for the discussion. I find you very interesting and what I like about you is your open mind. I'm new on here but I have always tried to help others deal with their emotions and state of awareness. I do a lot of writing on the Internet, covering many subjects.

      I enjoy research and expanding knowledge. This helps with my awareness which in turn helps with my spiritual growth. The secret to life is as follows. Seek knowledge, meditate and have access to every multi dimension available. This is the ultimate goal of life. It takes many life times to achieve this, I am already on a journey toward this.

      Love to chat with you! Thanks for your time!

    • advisor4qb profile image

      advisor4qb 8 years ago from On New Footing

      Wow, you really hit the nail on the head there! If you have not yet read "the Celestine Prophecy" by James Redfield, you should. You will probably like it, as it describes everything you did, but it talks about religion in particular the same way you do. He wrote several books.

      I have a middle of the road view of God as that "still, small voice within," providing intuition and guidance in response to fervent prayer.

      I hesitate to force my views on anyone. However, those who are drawn to read are welcome. I believe that whatever it is that brings one closer to a universal consciousness is just the thing it takes to do so. I don't belittle anyone's idea of what that takes, other than cults.

    • TheAllSeeingEye profile image

      TheAllSeeingEye 8 years ago from England.

      Life brings many challenges along the way. It is just so for a reason as it helps a person deal with every duality of emotion which builds his/her spiritual awareness. Spirituality is the real religion, the religion which has been hidden from the masses for over 2000 years. Since Constantine's rehash of the bible, its followers have looked outside themselves for a GOD, a holy entity who watches over everyone making judgement. This of course applies to every faith system invented by man. It's a way to control and rule over the people, keep the bloodlines pure, keep the rulers in power and keep the wise one's separated from those who are not. Biggest crime in mankind ever was when the few got to rule and enslave the many. The laws of nature for mankind is simple. Lead each other and not let others lead the way. The way to godhood conscious is by touching hearts along the way and not destroying them. Because of the latter we are living in a negative world that brings more bad news and negative thoughts than loving thoughts of positivity. Those who have woken up to the mind control are the sole reason everything exists today. If the world ever gets swamped with negativity, bringing about world war and humanitarian crisis such as genocide or man made diseases then hell will manifest on earth yet again. Sorry for the sermon, but the more people stray away from nature's laws and freewill the more people will be succumbed to control.

      I've read through some of your other stuff and found them very interesting. What I like about you is your honesty and your ability to rise above the negativity.

      Keep up the good work! Have a wonderful and positive day yourself!

    • advisor4qb profile image

      advisor4qb 8 years ago from On New Footing

      Thank you so much! I make it a point to stay positive lately, as that is the only way to get through the changes I have been dealing with. My hubs alternate between informative and releasing my negative energy (those are the hubs about my marriage to a narcissist!).

      Thank you so much for the positive feedback! Have a wonderful day!

    • TheAllSeeingEye profile image

      TheAllSeeingEye 8 years ago from England.

      Excellent hub, written with fine prose and pleasantly informative to those who are not in the know. Keep transcending those good thoughts and keep channeling those positive energies in you. Live the now and rise above the negative. I find is so easy to brush aggressive and ill mannered people aside since I found my god conscious. The real amazing thing for me is that I never attract them anymore either. Some tell me I am a different person - for the good of course - and I am often asked the question. "Are you reborn?"

      I am not a religious person, never gone to church and never prayed to any outside source of god. I do however listen to intuition and logic, and I often transcend my thoughts and channel my energies. I suppose people will associate this with meditation.

      Again, great hub, I was well impressed!

    • advisor4qb profile image

      advisor4qb 8 years ago from On New Footing

      Always receptive to validations such as your comment. Thanks!

    • profile image

      Madame X 8 years ago

      advisor - you have chosen your name well! This is a beautiful hub and full of wisdom. Even if a person isn't in what appears to be an impossible situation, your words here are an inspiration. Thanks :)

    • advisor4qb profile image

      advisor4qb 8 years ago from On New Footing

      Amen...and thanks, stop by anytime!

    • profile image

      Shealy Healy 8 years ago

      Good message and much needed too. You may have changed a life or two. I am proud of the ambition you expressed when scrimping to make a change in your life. So many people just don't have the nerve to do that. But, you did. Way to go.

      On to an authentic life....

    • advisor4qb profile image

      advisor4qb 8 years ago from On New Footing

      Thank you, James, I am sure He we both agree on that!

    • James A Watkins profile image

      James A Watkins 8 years ago from Chicago

      Excellent message and fine writing skills fully displayed. I enjoyed reading this piece. God Bless You for it.

    • advisor4qb profile image

      advisor4qb 8 years ago from On New Footing

      Thanks, Paradise!

    • Paradise7 profile image

      Paradise7 8 years ago from Upstate New York

      Good hub, Advisor. I liked it!


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