Half Past Human Ben Zoltak 2012: How To Self Apply The Prediction Power of the Internet

I've been on a long rumspringa as the Amish would say, or a walkabout as the First People of Australia would say, or trying to reach higher ground as Stevie Wonder would say, for a long time, most of my life.

Tonight, on Brad Meltzer's Decoded, a History Channel program about decoding symbols and declassifying mysteries, I was dumbstruck by the connection of Hopi American Indian prophecies. These are observations and words I've heard of before, but for some reason tonight they really hit home. Granted, my mind has been swimming in a pool of anchovy, wodka and various vinos, but apparently, the apparitions have conspired to bring me to a strange place tonight.

As someone with Native American blood in his heritage, I've been searching for some connection to my past as my direct history has been lost. My research, of my family's orphaned ancestor, has guided me to the Anishanabee people, or the Chippewa, or the Ojibwa, or the Anishinaabeg. They are the most populated of the Natives in the Great Lakes region and I feel a connection in my heart which is a good place to trust. I feel that I have been hunting a bear, though not to kill or eat, just hunting to see this bear in my heritage. Today is my father's 61st birthday, and we had a great conversation about Laurel and Hardy, and my son Klaus, and my daughter Isabella chimed in a happy birthday to grandpa. It is also my son's half year birthday. He ate solid food for the first time today, the kind of food that grows on top of the water.

Yes, Ben Zoltak, this has been a great wondering pile of cloistered thoughts and apogees, but what are you driving at mon frere? Indeed, inthought, and inspirit, what? Kurt Cobain once screamed, "Just because you're paranoid, don't mean they're not after you."

Turns out Kurt, in his burning, lightening life, didn't point to a one after him. But mother nature and our big clay earth well, that's maybe something different. I may need to build an unsinkable boat, a big canoe, a really big canoe, and carry some seeds and such.

To get down to nuts and bolts, I found this particular edition of Decoded to be especially personal and poignant. It's been a tumultuous week around here, here, in my country. Dark spirits quieting youthful smiles. I've been torn apart from some and brought closer to others I could never have predicted. I've explained to my beautiful wife Allison about the difference between the universe and the multiverse and she still prefers an analog pursuit of knowledge through a nonlinear tale told on good old fashioned paper bound by rags, I love books too who can blame her.

Back to nuts and bolts, having been called nuts once this week why not take a journey up there in the ether anyway? In this version of Decoded I found my self especially drawn not only towards the Hopi Indians predictions of the end of the world (defined in metaphor or direct fireball earthquake cleansing) but also to something called Half Past Human. Half Past Human, it turns out, is a collection of algorithms via website originally designed to predict trends in the stock market. So perhaps this is my draw towards art made millions? Maybe now art won't die, but in fact will flourish in the strangest, monetaristsless way.

This website, which uses web bots, or web crawlers as they are called, scours the internet in much the same way as google.com does, only it uses a cryptic, secretive collection of prediction keywords, to find out what is going to happen to the world. There is a huge "data gap" beginning, of course, on the winter solstice December 21, 2012 in the Half Past Human collection of predictions. You can purchase predictions from their website for ten bucks, not bad for a prediction of you know, everything going on in our nook of the universe.

This got me to thinking, being laid off from my day job, boy, this artist author sure could use a break. Been thinking about donating plasma again to make a couple bucks, maybe I could sequester a few of those dollars to gain a few million bucks through my purchase of the Half Past Human world prediction, right? Why not. If the Hopi are correct, and the world is to end in less than two years, why not finally gain enough dough to finally revisit my birth island of Oahu in Hawaii and finally try surfing right? Why not? But the problem was, well, ten bucks.

As again, an artist author I thought, isn't there a write around? Until I can secure the ten bucks, can't I find an inkling, you know, a taste of the future, for internet free like we like so much as the internet junkies many of us have grown into. Isn't there. Must be a way. Then I got to thinking about google, and how many times have I, okay maybe just a little self indulgently searched Ben Zoltak hoping to find some great review of my eBook or some great review of my art or something that would guide me onto a path of delicious sushi and dancing and travel with my dearest family, you know, maybe surf or ride an elephant or something. Chill in a yurt in Mongolia, good times, you know some such thing.

So now I pour another wine jar of Faldo Shiraz. My wife informed me earlier, is a wine made by a golfer, which should have been a complete juju crusher, in fact somehow, along with the Blue Ice American Organic Ice Vodka martinis I enjoyed, has culminated into a strange ephemeral totem for this predilictive path. I found my write around! Turned out to be pretty simple, something google taught me, not necessarily google adsense, though a major increase in revenue and traffic would be great you old sonofabitch! No. I'm talking again about, in a Jimmy Reed Big Boss Man sort of way, self examination search of one self, a Ben Zoltak google search.

In plain speak here's the crux of the thing, where modern existence meets Hopi ancient prediction. I searched my name, along with Half Past Human and took a peek. Here's what I found at the top of the google list:

Hike Or Bike Wisconsin's Glacial Drumlin Trail!

That's it!? That's the secret to the universe? Well no, not exactly. But it is fascinating to me.

I've written a bunch now, made many paintings, made many comments, I'm on the internets! All of em'!!! Dang internets, always trying to get my bojangles! Why did this particular article come up? Can't says for sure but believing as I do in the strange web that the Hopi predicted, I enjoy that somehow and way, it pointed to that particular hubpages article. I was married beside the Glacial Drumlin Trail, which is an ancient American Indian trail used by the Cahokia tribe and undoubtedly others, we were married on an ancient earthen mound/pyramid site where some Native American royalty was buried. A white European American scientist proclaimed the place Aztalan, a sort of nod to the "lost" or "hidden" village of the north, a reference to a Native American myth, or truth. A river trail, a canoe trail along the Crawfish river and prethat Mississippi. The whites thought it maybe Aztec and so gave it the name Aztalan, presupposing maybe, this was the lost northern city of the Aztec but in fact, has a more direct connection to the Cahokia tribe.

So where and why Ben Zoltak, why? I'm not exactly sure, but I report to you dear and kind reader, here and now, that we as the people of the earth are on a great journey into a new world. Be that of metaphor or great physical cataclysm, I can't see it from here exactly, but a new world and most likely from underneath a chilling transition. In the meantime, I hope to gain something in between to bring me to lobster, or Ikura, more love from my wife, daughter and son, some wealth of experience I can barely comprehend. But I found my write around for the Half Past Human, web bot manifold for Ben Zoltak. It leads along a very ancient path, I love that indeed I do.

So as I prepare to batten the hatches of my future, I direct you towards Half Past Human and also to a strange website they have directed me to, called How To Survive 2012.

Could be a big wave, or heat, or lots of lightening it seems, maybe a megaquake as the Decoded program might imply or perhaps maybe just an end to exorbitant greed and the punishment of victimless crimes, that would be good also. Coming to you live from outer and inner space, the Annishanabean Ben Zoltak.

Who what where when how do I fit in? That's where I will go back to Half Past Human Ben Zoltak and try and find out. Hopefully google and the web bots are conspiring to send me into a blissful path of art success and writing miracle and maybe some platinum and maybe a canoe, a great big Moses kind of canoe, with seeds of love and plants too.