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How Much Love R we REALLY Gettin'?

Updated on June 4, 2017
CC Saint Clair profile image

An honest look at our personal and cultural modus operandi can generate a conscious rethinking of what, of our body-mind, is ours to adjust

A quick peep behind the doors of any ER will confirm that we, humans, brain cells and enzymes notwithstanding, are but bones, flesh and fluids. Of course, we are animated by our soul!


What a Child Needs Most?

Why is a doll, a bear, a clown or a truck the most important constant companion of the child who is otherwise much loved and lacks for nothing?

We drink to cheers ourselves up - Okay, but why do we drink when we're happy and have something good to celebrate?

What We Don't Know

Most of us don't know where the wind goes when it stops blowing.
Most of us don't *really* know what keeps a plane flying.
Most of us don't know that it is the light of the sun that is reflected on the surface of the moon - that, she, herself, neither glows nor shines.
Most of us don't *really* know much about electricity beyond that it comes out of 2 little holes in the wall and that if you come across it anywhere else, it can make your hair stand on end.

So, if we know so little about what we can see or feel or taste and about what has been around us 24/7 ... what do we really know ... what can we possible understand about the soul?

Next best thing to LOVE?

What does a dummy/pacifier do for a toddler that a loving parent or sibling could not do a little bit better?

What is it With Soppy Lyrics?

"So long, I've been looking too hard, I've been waiting too long
Sometimes I don't know what I will find, I only know it's a matter of time
When you love someone, when you love someone
It feels so right, so warm and true, I need to know if you feel it too
I've been waiting for a girl like you to come into my life

I've been waiting for a girl like you, your loving will survive
I've been waiting for someone new to make me feel alive
Yeah, waiting for a girl like you to come into my life" - A GirL Like You by Foreigner

What is it about such vapid lyrics that makes us melt even when we are in a stable and loving relationship?
Why do such silly *nonsense* resonate so deeply?

What Exactly do We Give--When we Give

When we give, where EGG-zak-tly do we give from?

  • · the heart?
  • · the wallet?
  • · the head?

Why do we give?

  • · out of love?
  • · to make peace?
  • · to maintain peace?
  • · to buy peace?
  • · out of guilt?
  • . out of love?

How Does It Work?

Both the web and bookstores are overflowing with spiritual quotes such as:

"Bodies are as innocent as trees or flowers or breath."

"We are all meant to shine as children do."

"If we only knew the power we hold within, we could move so many mountains and absolve so many sins."

"True Happiness to me means I don't need happiness to be happy."

"Poverty is internal. Every time you think you know something, you're experiencing poverty."

"Where there is great love, there are always miracles."

My honest question is: how will posting or reading such quotes help ME deliver *the goods*?

Beyond thinking, Oh, gee that's a cool thought, how do such quotes help anyone BE in the moment?

How do they help anyone be BETTER in the moment, moment after moment?
How do they help anyone Actively Accept their current circumstances?

How do they help anyone keep the storm out of the tea cup?
How do they help anyone connect with their Soul?
How do they help anyone act on the awareness that we ARE all souls in disguise - inside our birthday 'suit'/body suit?
How do they help anyone actively remember that souls, being divine sparks, are NEVER, bad, never dark, never *lost*, never sad and little?

Like, how can any divine or cosmic energy be anything but ... divine ... or cosmic = pure and loving?
How do these quotes help us DO - from the heart - whatever it is we are supposed to in the moment that is under our feet?

Where Else Would we Ever Find Such Unconditional Luv?

Why are so many of us disconsolate because of the loss of our dog, be s/he lost to an *X* or to a disease, to old age or the victim of an 'accident'?

Exalted Yearnings

Many of us have at one time or another pleaded earnestly, "Please, believe in me!"
Or when overcome by a sentimental yearning, we have exclaimed, "Oh, I LOVE you!" and/or "I will NEVER leave you."

Knowing that about 70% of the human body is made up of liquids and knowing, as we do, that what beauty there is in the eye of the beholder is only paper thin and skin deep, exactly WHAT are we really addressing so beseechingly?

Similarly, which part of us is the one that moves us so?

If after a little bit of thinking we agree that we are not *really* addressing the physical body, that bag of bones, flesh and organs held tight in an embrace, and surely we are not appealing to their heart, a mere muscle, and not to their brain because the brain is a big processor, and surely not to their ego-persona then, to whom are we really, subconsciously, addressing our pleas for a never-ending love and never-failing trust and guidance?

From where ...within us ... has come this sudden exaltation?

Sharing is Caring

When is it ... why is it ... that our children grow out of sharing with whomever happens to be their friend - regardless of the color of their eyes or of their fur?

1 for you. 1 for me. 1 for you. 1 for me. 1 for you. 1 for me. 1 for you. 1 for me. 1

Serious Question: when did our life change so that eventually, the color of anyone's eyes or hair, the shape of their body, their choice of labels or status begin to matter more than the persons themselves?

Serious Question: if it is true that get as 'good as we give', how much love r we REALLY getting?

Who R they & Who R We?

If we love only aspects of a person that please us and dislike, sometimes even hate, other aspects that challenge our comfort zones - then who is this person we love and who is this person we dislike when their unpleasant behavior is merely the flip side of the same coin?

Who are we, erratic ones, whose appreciation changes as often as a weather-cock changes position in the breeze?

How more mature are we than the children who like to pick the choc bits out of their cookie and leave the rest uneaten?

Or those who try to leave their vegetables uneaten on the side of their plate?

Or those who love Mom's baking but are nowhere to be found when it's time to wash up?

Why Acceptance Rules

I'm into the belief that Spirit is Soul. That works for me for, surely, our bodies must be powered by soul.

A quick peep behind the doors of any ER will confirm that we, humans, brain cells and enzymes notwithstanding, are but bones, flesh and fluids. Of course, we are animated by our soul! It is from her that comes our humanity.

The nice thing about souls is that they are neither vengeful nor benevolent - these are the alleged attributes of gods. And gods don't cut it for me because, from a distance, they appear far too human with their demands, moods and foibles.

Though through birth and circumstances, I could claim Catholicism as well as Judaism as my religious heritage, I have never practised any form of religion, not even an alternative one and so I can honestly say that, unlike some, I have never been *hurt* while practising my faith.

Basically, my spiritual belief is centered around our soul being an intrinsic part of us - an active energy - that resides in the middle of our chest. And of course, I believe in the inexplicable and overarching power of the Cosmos.

It is only through a connection to Soul - constant pure energy - that, I believe, we can attempt to edit some of the karma that is ours to amend in this lifetime as well as soften the rub of our ordinary, daily life.

Having said that, seeing as our karma is partly inherited from our soul's prior incarnations and partly constructed by ourselves - same as our ego - it will take many more lifetimes before our subsequent incarnations can rectify the deficit - or help the balance tilt the other way.

In the meantime, no effort is too little. Rethinking thinking and understanding better - within a philosophical framework - the meaning of what is happening to us and to those with whom we share moments should be our foremost personal goal.

That, as well as - though it comes uninvited - *actively* accepting all c.r.a.p. with an open heart, just as readily as we usually accept our moments of joy and pleasure without questioning *why me?*.

For me, the litmus test of genuine spirituality is simply whether, in the moment that is under our feet, we are able to *actively* accept our stressors, our illnesses, our disappointments and our emotional pain with a heart that is truly open - a heart that dictates *acceptance* to the mind - or not.

If the answer is, "OMG! Not yet!" that's all OK, cos practice makes puuurfect and no genuine effort @ altering our heart energy is ever too little. Baby steps rock.


So, Is It What Luv Is About?

Another question is, if, on the whole, we find it challenging to give love and affection un-conditionally to the ones we love the most, how can we possibly stretch that love to the proverbial *neighbor* or to strangers.

Anyone who annoys us, who angers us the most is the token *neighbor* at the moment that is under our feet. They are the one we have been admonished to love as we love ourselves and our own - no separation.

Non-separating is a way of being that not many of us can deliver well at all and yet we don't want to be separated - we yearn to be loved fully for being the way we are, which results in us being in a constant state of hunger for more than we can give.

It is the craving for love of un-conditional magnitude that drives us to excel at what we do.
From parents, to sales personnel, to toddlers, to soccer players, to gurus, to doctors, to artists, to executives, to athletes, to managers, to mechanics, to farmers, to students, to presidents of corporations and presidents of countries and to freedom fighters - except for genuine psychopaths, we are all programmed to want to do our best with the sole purpose of being a hero in someone's eyes - in the more eyes, the better.

Personally, I can't begin to imagine how having hordes of adoring fans or devotees can truly warm the cockles of anyone's heart but, clearly, millions of people around the globe must feel the outpour of *love*when thousands upon thousands chant their names and wring their hands in desperate admiration at the sheer glimpse of them, be they rock stars, politicians, religious leaders or athletes.

And then, of course, are the legions of self-promoting wannabes who hope to one day access, if only, a tiny bit of that *love* and associated kudos :-~

Cookies R Us

Since this hub, so far, has mostly been about questioning how much love we might be getting as toddlers, as teenagers, as *grow-ups*, it's time to look at how wholistically we *love* with our grown up heart.

Isn't it true that, even on a good day, most of what we do and think is about Me and Mine vs Them and Theirs?
Though we are but souls disguised as humans, the notion of our separateness from others permeates most of what we do and think. It is visceral.

Not only do we separate ourselves from the other, a stranger, but we often separate ourselves from our *loved* ones, too, when they go on pushing the wrong buttons for too long.
It's not our fault - really it's not.

This way of thinking has been passed on to us through the millennia and, tragically, it would appear that this patterned thinking is perpetual.
To make matters worse, current culture keeps reminding us, regardless of our age, that we are *special* and that we are *unique *and that self-indulgence is a just reward.

Clearly, we, as individuals, are about as unique as are cookies on a baking tray.

I Love

We ALL love SOMEONE and act on that love

See results

My bottom line, here, is that being nice when we want to be nice, when it's convenience for us to be nice is never too much trouble because, in such instances, we FEEL like being nice, caring, charitable, thoughtful and loving.

Generally speaking, though, it seems that a totally honest look @ how we love our friends, our neighbors, our colleagues, our partner/spouse or our children - and our parents - reveals that we DO a lot more than we feel.

In my mind, genuine love and genuine affection is what we manage to FEEL - from the bottom of our heart - when our comfort zones are taxed to the max because ‘that person’ has pushed our button too far. It is then, and only then, that the depth of our ‘love’, as much as our emotional mettle, get seriously tested.
But, hey, dear Person out there, feel free to disagree with me and leave a comment ;-)

© 2013 Carole Claude Saint-Clair


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