How to confront problems, the easy way?

Everyone in this world is confronted with problems at some time or other. How we react to them is vital. Most of us become anxious, when we meet some problems. Some people face it bravely. They think about various options by which the problem could be resolved. Never be afraid to face problems since these are all common occurrence in day to day life. The solution may not lie within our reach if it is technical problem. We need the assistance of some experts from outside. How to manage during the intervening period is the real issue!

First tip is, ‘do not focus on the problem! Take your mind away from the problem that persists and let the mind focus on some positive aspects of life; listen to music for a while. Try for a walk in refreshed atmosphere. Yes, forgetting the problem for a while is the best way to attract some other solutions. Remain calm and composed. The world famous mathematics genius, ‘Late Ramanujam of India is a serious student of mathematics. He will try to solve complex problems. But, when certain problems become too tough to solve, he will retire for sleep. In the morning, without any efforts from his side, he will get some unusual solutions to the problem. If we focus too much on the problem, we will end up in depression and grief. Fear arises due to unknown territory. Hence, the initial reaction is fear and grief. Hence just recognize the problem but do not focus on it.

It is said that necessity is the mother of invention! It is not necessary that we succeed in the first attempt. Trial and error is the best way. For finding solution to some problem, our scientists use hundreds of situations and notebooks full of data and statistics and sieve them for possible solution. Charles Penn, while writing his biography, narrated the complex process of '’assaying'. From one ton of ore, few grams of gold will be retrieved. This is how we get solution to certain complex problem. If we are concerned with the huge amount of work involved, we can never achieve any useful thing in life. We might have heard about the great inventor Edison. He worked for thirty years in laboratory without even caring for his meals and water. After painful research, he wrote all his findings in a notebook. One day, a pet cat caused a fire in the lab which consumed his notebook that contains his work of 30 years. But Edison won’t give up. He again went into seclusion and from his memory reproduced almost all the data and records in few years. But most of us do not have such spirits.

We are easily perturbed by minor problems. But the brave people laugh at problems. They are optimistic of finding some solutions. Worry is manifestation of fear! Fear arises due to uncertainty of future. “What will happen? Is the outcome of fear! To avoid worry from fear, remain focused in the Present moment alone! Never think about the next moment but stay focused in the “NOW”. By this way, we can definitely come out of unwanted paranoia. Dale Carnegie has found out solutions to worry, fear and anxiety! His book, “How to stop worrying and start living is a masterpiece. Dale Carnegie was an utter failure when he started his career as a door to door salesman! 99 out of 100 houses he visited, he received rebuke and irritating comments. He wanted to quit salesman job since it is a most unsuitable one for his character!

But, he started examining, what went wrong? How he approached the people? What is his first introduction to the people who open their doors in irritation? Then he realized a great truth! He has failed to perceive human psychology. Whenever he rang the bell of a house, he introduced himself and the products he wanted to sell. He never bothered about the reactions of people, which are blunt! He realized that everyone needs some sort of recognition. He wanted to try a different approach. Next time, he went to a house. His initial remark was, “Nice morning! How are you? How is your health? You seem a little tired but I find your hair very attractive and you have not taken care of it for a while! These sort of conversations really helped Dale Carnegie. People naturally invited him in and enquired about the products he brought for sale. Slowly he gained the confidence of many house holders and soon his visits were anxiously awaited!

How he could get such appreciation from his clients? Initially he was concerned about the sales of his products. Now he was interested in people and their multifarious problems. Dale Carnegie never expected such a change in short time. Now, he started concentrating more on the problems of others. He gathered many genuine friends and well-wishers. Sooner, he became the most successful salesman around! He started noting down the ways and approaches, a salesperson must learn. He dutifully recorded many of his follies in the initial period of his job. He was particular, not to repeat the same mistake once again. The file, “Foolish things I have done grew in size, but he was practicing not to repeat the same mistakes once more. He perfected the art of ‘public speaking, connecting people to the heart and his approaches were genuine. He learned the art of human relations and wrote three beautiful books which was an instant success around the globe. His books were translated in all the major languages of the world!

Out of his experience, he stated, “Most of our worries do not happen at all. Live in water tight compartments without worrying about the next hour or moment. Attend to the work in hand, focusing only on that. Deal only one task at a time. Everyone in the world wants recognition and hence praise genuinely. This will act as a tonic. Do not criticize any on their face. If at all, you want to point any mistake, do it privately mildly. Each individual is unique and possess some special quality. Find out their talent and praise them wholeheartedly. Our life on this planet is of short tenure. As far as possible, make others happy. Take criticisms’ with open heart without any grudge. Smile genuinely. Never worry since it will only aggregate the problem!