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How to Forgive Someone Who Hurt You Emotionally

Updated on July 22, 2019
Alfie102 profile image

Christian blogger - My goal for is to help people by providing inspiring, empowering and transformational post.

Forgiveness

What is Forgiveness

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:14 -15

We all have been hurt at some point in our lives, whether in our childhood, teens or adulthood by someone we loved and trusted. The key thing is to forgive and let the healing process begin.

To forgive is to stop feeling angry or resentful toward someone for an offense, flaw, or mistake. It’s natural to have thoughts about retribution and revenge, but you have to overcome those mindsets by releasing anger, resentment and hostility and move to a place of healing.

Forgiveness is not just about saying the words but it is an active process in which the individual makes a conscious decision to let go of all those negative feelings towards the other person.

How Unforgiveness Affects Your Health

It is said, unforgiveness can affect your health, leading to stress, anxiety, depression, heart disease, and diabetes. Studies have found that when we show forgiveness, on the other hand, it improves your health. It can lower the risk of heart attacks, reduce your blood pressure, anxiety and stress levels.

I think one of the greatest emotional hurts you can encounter is by a family member. When persons are closer to you it tends to affect you more. The person can be a parent, sibling or relative. It's very important to deal with these hurts at an early stage because it can cause you to struggle in your relationship with others.


The Power to forgive

The Story About Joseph Forgiveness

Let us look at the life of Joseph in the Bible—someone who had justifiable rights to be angry and seek revenge on his brothers. Genesis 37- 50

Joseph’s brothers resented him because their father, Jacob, loved him more and gave him a coat of many colors. This led to jealousy among the brothers, so they decided to kill him.

They placed him in a well. When they saw some Midianite merchants passing, they decided to sell him into slavery in Egypt. Joseph had a good work ethic; this earned him Potiphar’s trust, and he promoted Joseph to be the steward of his household.

Joseph was handsome, and therefore, attracted the eyes of Potiphar’s wife. She wanted to entice him to sleep with her, but he refused. She then told her husband he tried to rape her. Joseph was placed in prison for this accusation. While in prison, Joseph was able to interpret the dreams of the cupbearer and chief baker successfully.

After two years had passed, the Pharaoh had a dream which no one could interpret. The cupbearer remembered Joseph had interpreted his dream. Pharaoh summoned Joseph, and he interpreted his dream, and then Pharaoh promoted Joseph to the position of the prime minister of Egypt.

Since there was a famine, people came from other nations to buy corn, which included Joseph’s brothers. Joseph recognized his brothers among the buyers and tested them. He later revealed his identity to them. He was reunited with his father and brothers, and they came to live in Egypt.

Joseph was in a position to get revenge on his brothers; instead, he chose to forgive.


The Process of Forgiveness

Acceptance: Accept what the person did; how it made you feel and how you reacted to the hurt.

Understanding: Understand human nature. Know that the person has shortcomings; they may be jealous, angry, or hurt. Hurt people, tend to hurt other people.

– Forgive: Tell the person that you have forgiven them for all the hurt they have caused you.

Acknowledge: What lessons have you learned from this experience, and how have you grown from it?

In Conclusion

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13

It’s always good to release people from the hurt they have caused us. Whatsoever bad someone has done to you; God is working it out for your good just like Joseph. Don’t seek revenge. God said vengeance is His and He will repay. So, learn from the experience and grow from it. Forgive and be free.


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    • Alfie102 profile imageAUTHOR

      Althea Lovell 

      4 weeks ago from Bridgetown

      RTalloni, thanks for your feedback and suggestions...

    • RTalloni profile image

      RTalloni 

      4 weeks ago from the short journey

      You make some valid points about the effects of having an unwillingness to forgive those who wrong us. There are, however, many things to consider in situations we face.

      For instance, yes, Joseph did forgive his brothers, but after God stretched and grew him through years of hardship, in his promotion he was fit to wisely deal with his brothers, testing the truth of their words for their own good, rather than just taking them at their word.

      A really good book that helps those struggling with forgiveness is from Chris Brauns, "Unpacking Forgiveness", which covers the topic of responding to the term "forgive as God forgives". God forgives when there is repentance, but consequences of sin often do not change.

      Also, making those who sin against us think that all they have to do is say I'm sorry and they can go on with life unchanged in their heart and mind is dangerous business on every level. Joseph's brothers did far more than hurt him emotionally, leading us to appropriately consider the scope and scale of sin as Chris Brauns outlines in his writing.

      Of course, it is all wrapped in the beautiful concept of God's desire for us to love mercy as He does, but "as He does" comes from a good measure of understanding the whole council of His Word. A willingness to forgive is something we must sometimes allow God to bring us to through taking time to meditate on His Word and pray for wisdom to apply it to our own thinking.

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