How to Forgive Someone Who Hurt You Emotionally

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:14 -15

We all have been hurt at some point in our lives, whether in our childhood, teens or adulthood by someone we loved and trusted. The key thing is to forgive and let the healing process begin.

To forgive is to stop feeling angry or resentful toward someone for an offense, flaw, or mistake. It’s natural to have thoughts about retribution and revenge, but you have to overcome those mindsets by releasing anger, resentment and hostility and move to a place of healing.

Forgiveness is not just about saying the words but it is an active process in which the individual makes a conscious decision to let go of all those negative feelings towards the other person.

It is said, unforgiveness can affect your health, leading to stress, anxiety, depression, heart disease, and diabetes. Studies have found that when we show forgiveness, on the other hand, it improves your health. It can lower the risk of heart attacks, reduce your blood pressure, anxiety and stress levels.

I think one of the greatest emotional hurts you can encounter is by a family member. When persons are closer to you it tends to affect you more. The person can be a parent, sibling or relative. It's very important to deal with these hurts at an early stage because it can cause you to struggle in your relationship with others.

Let us look at the life of Joseph in the Bible—someone who had justifiable rights to be angry and seek revenge on his brothers. Genesis 37- 50

Joseph’s brothers resented him because their father, Jacob, loved him more and gave him a coat of many colors. This led to jealousy among the brothers, so they decided to kill him.

They placed him in a well. When they saw some Midianite merchants passing, they decided to sell him into slavery in Egypt. Joseph had a good work ethic; this earned him Potiphar’s trust, and he promoted Joseph to be the steward of his household.

Joseph was handsome, and therefore, attracted the eyes of Potiphar’s wife. She wanted to entice him to sleep with her, but he refused. She then told her husband he tried to rape her. Joseph was placed in prison for this accusation. While in prison, Joseph was able to interpret the dreams of the cupbearer and chief baker successfully.

After two years had passed, the Pharaoh had a dream which no one could interpret. The cupbearer remembered Joseph had interpreted his dream. Pharaoh summoned Joseph, and he interpreted his dream, and then Pharaoh promoted Joseph to the position of the prime minister of Egypt.

Since there was a famine, people came from other nations to buy corn, which included Joseph’s brothers. Joseph recognized his brothers among the buyers and tested them. He later revealed his identity to them. He was reunited with his father and brothers, and they came to live in Egypt.

Joseph was in a position to get revenge on his brothers; instead, he chose to forgive.

– Acceptance: Accept what the person did; how it made you feel and how you reacted to the hurt.

– Understanding: Understand human nature. Know that the person has shortcomings; they may be jealous, angry, or hurt. Hurt people, tend to hurt other people.

– Forgive: Tell the person that you have forgiven them for all the hurt they have caused you.

– Acknowledge: What lessons have you learned from this experience, and how have you grown from it?

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13

It’s always good to release people from the hurt they have caused us. Whatsoever bad someone has done to you; God is working it out for your good just like Joseph. Don’t seek revenge. God said vengeance is His and He will repay. So, learn from the experience and grow from it. Forgive and be free.