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There Is a 4 Step Redemptive Process Beyond Inter Family Jealousy and Hate. Formal Counseling Is a Big Help and Time!

Updated on June 28, 2020
Christofers Flow profile image

Christofer spent 10 years in family counseling. Later he obtained a Psy. D.. His focuses: Health, History, Astrology, Politics and Fables

You Can Construct a Saving Response

Saving Old Relationships
Processes that Heal
Intention Goes a Long Way
Buying Back through Hope
Separating with Goal of Good
Giving Forgiveness Cleans

A Plan to Bring Broken Hearts and Hurt Feelings Back into the Family Fold

After the Crash in 1929. It Was The 30's.

Lefty was 14 when his Dad dropped dead of a heart attack on the living room floor. It was just before Thanksgiving, but that season, that year, would be bleak. Lefty's four siblings were all younger, all the way down to the 3 year-old looking up in complete wonder at the crying, the moaning, the cops, the ambulance and all those relatives. Lefty's Mom was an alcoholic, but more than that, she was a severe manic depressive. When her grand generous wealthy husband hit the carpet that day, she went into a spiral of suicide attempts and despair that made her a patient immediately of a local asylum in Boston.

The Family Breaks Up Before It Begins

Lefty was the oldest, but a real athlete and street urchin. He pitched from the left side, and he was known in town as an incredibly effective left-handed pitcher. It was said that he could play semi-pro within a couple years. Lefty was heart broken at his father's death as was all of the family.

The Dead Father was a successful real estate developer in MA in the 20's. He liquidated his real estate holdings, after the crash, one by one, allowing his renters to remain, until the banks literally took over. It was Lefty who found her. He crumpled up in exhausting despair. When the authorities got there, they turned to Lefty, the 14 year old to institutionalize her. It was really just a formality, but the family took it as an act of betrayal.

Lefty was ostracized by the older aunts and uncles, and of course, as time would go on, so too, the siblings would hate him. Lefty went to the streets and raised himself through less "dignified' relatives, and his own pluck and resourcefulness.

Lefty Goes To Beacon Street, Becomes an Actor, Marries A Strikingly Beautiful Actress

Lefty ended up being a national celebrity on soap operas in the 50's. This is not about Lefty's rise, no. This is about no matter how base and low or famous and celebrated, Lefty could never get any mercy from his religious siblings. Admittedly families can hate each other without the help of religion, but this family was particularly outstanding.

The Sibllings Get God

In the 40's and 50's, while Lefty his beautiful wife and his four kids were living off the media and the coasts, and doing the "gypsy theatre" thing. Lefty's beautiful wife was a "devout Episcopalian" and then left this substantial and traditional religion for a more "Jewish/Christian" religion.

The Siblings were all in one traditional, conservative religious setting, all lived close to one another and developed a cloistered self satisfaction with their sanctified lives. One thing though, they would not talk to Lefty. He was "persona non grata".

"It's Not Envy, It's Our Sanctification"

Lefty made occasional forays into the original land to see if there was any possibility for reconciliation. He was told, after he apologized as much as he could, that he was not acceptable. That he was "beyond the pale". "We can't forgive you. It's not for us to forgive you anyway. God has forgiven us, and thus we are a part of his family. We are redeemed, and thus we can not forgive you." Over the decades, life would pass, as it does, letting sanctimony and resentment sit together on

The Actor's Wife Quotes A Little

Once the beautiful wife threw some pertinent quotes their way. When they were stuck on a strident long distance telephone call. It was quite a display of Biblical understanding. However, her profundity fell on "forgiven ears". Two of the female siblings just huffed and said: "Who are you to quote the scriptures, at us. We are forgiven, you are not."

Holding Hostage Our Spiritual Impulses

When religion was just shamanism, and people would come over the hill and have seasonal feasts, they would be entertained by the individuality displayed by each Shaman. They were respected and feared. But dogma had not yet been invented, and doctrine had not been installed, except around plantings and harvestings, and hoping to heal, marrying and burying. But because our spiritual urgings and impulses are always with us, religion was going to have a future.

Sometimes Religion Separates

Because there are so many unknowns, and so many unanswered questions, there is a permanent place for religious and spiritual thought. Religion means "to bind back", a rather ironic turn of thought. It definitely has a binding effect. Yes, we wake up with our spiritual hearts thumping every darned day, and thus this will always be a human condition. It does beg us though to be thoughtful about the way we express our religion.

When a Determined Heart Tries A New Way!

Eventually the Wife hoped for a new way. She wanted to reclaim old relationships. She rolled up her sleeves and started new things in motion, trying with her heart to believe that things could be made better.

There is a time when people get tired of feeling old thoughts, harboring old resentments and nurturing the painful circulating blood of malice. Beyond Spiritual Superiority is a real vivifying process that releases us from former smug self satisfaction and into a new state of working with others. Once one sees that there is a Process involved, and the Will reaches for a new solution, then a clear way can be seen.

Saving the Troubled Spirit and the Sickened Heart

It is not impossible at all! Hatfield and McCoy relationships are all over.

Sickness like this can last for generations unless individual creative action is undertaken.

Justification is the step that starts wiping old acts from the record.

Redemption is the desire to bring value and strength to a formerly ruined state.

Sanctification is the welling up within that brings an actual specialness to mediocrity.

Forgiveness is the full embrace of the Heart that Feels the Fullness of Love.

Healing Works Against Self Righteousness

© 2010 Christofer French


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