I Used To Think Life Was Linear
I used to feel like life was linear, maybe linear in a repetitive circle. That we are born and we grow and we achieve our success and then we die - in a constant progression. Or if that isn’t the case - if you were unable to live up to that ideal - then that was the goal. I seemed to be living up to that belief. I was born. I went to school. I found a girlfriend. I graduated from college. I raised a family and took a job. I was promoted. I was well on my way to maybe another promotion or two and then a happy death with a successful progressive life behind me.
Now I’m not so sure. I certainly have taken a detour from that plan. I used to have an office but now I share cube space along with several dozen other people. Mostly people who are younger than I am and on what maybe they feel is the first few steps of their linear journey. I had to wonder if there was a time in my past where I veered left but I should’ve turned right; or maybe I should have gone straight ahead. Maybe somehow I got off my path somewhere along my way?
Now I’m not so sure. Maybe none of it matters. Maybe it all just adds up in the end. Perhaps it isn’t linear at all. It’s just what it is. A thing we all are going through called Life. Each at our own pace and in our own way using our individual styles. If you took a left then you took a left. It wasn't wrong or right, it was a choice you made. You went over to see what left brought for you. If it wasn’t any good then maybe you take a right or backtrack to that fork in the road and try another direction. However, I don’t see things as linear now at all. Where you are at is where you are at. Deal with it.
I’m not ahead or behind schedule, that's how I feel now. I’m taking it day by day and trying to keep my eyes open and to be ready to go in whatever direction I feel like or maybe in the direction that life pulls me towards. I never was much of a “plan person” to begin with and I think perhaps even less now. I think I’m just on a journey; that we are all just on a journey. No one is ahead of anyone else. We are just in different phases of experience. Where it leads to or if it leads anywhere at all… I have no idea. But I know I’m just not going to fret that I’m off the tracks anymore. I’m doing what I can. I’m keeping my head up. I’m trying to live each day the best I can; in a way that maximizes my happiness and the happiness of the ones who are in my life. I'm just trying to be true to myself these days.
Life’s too short to think you are doing it wrong or that you aren’t in the place where you’re supposed to be. We all need to relax a notch. We aren't late for anything. We aren’t losing a game. We are living our lives, each in our own way. It’s a one foot in front of the other world. An each day is the first day of the rest of our lives existence. I’ve given up that I’m on some kind of path. Now I think I’m in a field and just looking about. Maybe I'll go up to that mountain or maybe I go over to that stream. It doesn’t matter. What matters is to get the most out of where you are and enjoy those who are around you, for as long as you can.
That's what I'm going to try to do from this point on.