If You Ever Doubt

 As many may be aware of I recently returned to my hometown of Bennington. Shortly after I began reading tarot cards at a shop just outside of town called Picadilly Hutch. I recommend checking it out for the chocolates, the antiques and the wonderful owners and their body of artwork, but I digress.

My first weekend I made a small killing and people were asking for me by name. In the week or so that followed I had maybe one more reading and then a week of just sitting there in my little room, chatting with Kola and Theo, painting, and just generally killing time waiting for a customer who was there for a reading.

Each day I reminded myself that as long as I was there I was doing what I wanted to do for so long. Reading tarot cards in an actual shop.

Fast forward to last night. I asked my guardians if I was doing what it was they wanted me to do. Well, not exactly like that. I think the time since I came back to Bennington has been just one big question mark. Am I supposed to reconnect while I'm here? Is it just a brief stop while I recharge? Am I fullfilling the spiritual contracts I have with my sister and my nephew and other family members?

Fastforward to today. I was at the shop again and it seemed like it would be another day gone by without readings until a string of customers came into the store. While Adam and Demetrius were tied up with ringing some ladies out I was watching Adam's hot dog cart, prepared to throw a dog on the grill (or whatever the heat source is called) should the need arise. Adam came out and told me I had a customer.

So I went in and led the charming lady to the room in the back. She closed the door and we sat down.

I can't go into a heck of a lot of detail about what was said in the reading out of respect for the client's privacy. The sum of it was that after two years of difficulties she was being forced to sell the farm that she and her family had owned for sometime.

The reading basically enforced for her the idea that she was a strong person and I kept the focus on the idea that what she was doing would have a positive outcome.

Anyhow, she seemed to feel a little bit better and when the reading was over we got to chatting. She asked me if I was from the area because I seemed familiar. She was from Hoosic Falls and she lived in the area for quite sometime. Though I had family who lived in Hoosic Falls at one point, I grew up in Bennington and it was after I told her that I was once a student at Upward Bound that something clicked.

She asked if I knew David Durkee.

Well Dave Durkee and his wife Lauren are two of the most important people in my life, I told her.

"I'm Nancy," she said. "I'm Dave's aunt."

So lets break this down.

Nancy had seen the ad in the paper a while back advertising for tarot readers but she hadn't gotten around to it that week. She just happned to be passing by the shop today when she stopped in having no idea that I was there or who I even was. I had never met her before now.

Yet, needing some guidance and some reassurance, she came to the shop on a day that I happend to be the tarot reader on duty.

The cynics will chew this apart but I know in my heart that my guides were snickering at me that day and saying, "You will never learn, will you? We can't just hand it all to you on a silver platter, you have to be patient and all will be revealed to you as you go along."