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Jesus Give Me Rest
Jesus Said He Will Give Us Rest
The words, weary and burdened, have been the definition of my existence for the past three years, increasingly so in the past month and a half. I feel as though I am being physically and mentally attacked from every side. I struggle to get out of the bed in the morning and put my feet on the floor.
I want desperately to breathe. I know this probably sounds a little crazy, but I literally feel like I am being smothered. My chest feels weighted with burden, my mind is overwhelmed with stress, and the effects are starting to show, physically and mentally. I am in desperate need of relief, the kind of relief that can only come from God.
I feel like I have a pretty good relationship with the Lord, it could always be better. I pray all the time, I go to church, I worship, I listen to uplifting music; but I feel like a beggar dying of thirst. I can see the water, but I just can't reach it. It's right there, so why can't I just reach out and take it? What is holding me back from receiving the relief that He wants to give me?
Tonight at church, we had an awesome service. I really felt the presence of the Lord, from the moment I walked in the door. During our prayer service, I went to the alter and I just prayed and cried, mostly that God would just give me freedom and peace. I asked for a fresh anointing of the Holy Spirit. I feel broken, tired and weak; all I can do is cry.
I felt better when church was over. I felt a re-charging of my battery, but in the back of my mind tomorrow looms. Somehow I have to get to a place where I can totally let go of my situation, of which I have no control, and give God the reins.
When I got home tonight, I sat down at my desk and flipped the page on my calendar. Today's scripture was Matthew 11:28 - "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." I guess you could say I had an "aha moment." It was as if the Lord was speaking directly to me.
Although I feel like I'm struggling, I know that I am developing a stronger and more personal relationship with the Lord through this trial. Maybe that is the whole point of the trial; to break me and to bring me to His side and teach me total dependence. Whatever it is, I will go to Him. I will go to Him everyday, every hour, every minute. I know that when I come out on the other side of this trial, I will be stronger, not only as a Christian, but as a person. God has a plan for me. He isn't finished with me yet.