Late Night Confessions of a Murder
Confession is good for the soul
Should I say or just say no?
It was one late summer night 2008. The house was so empty as I was there only. By 1 am I knew I could not sleep so I may as well cook a bit and then surf the net until I could escape the lonely feeling and get some sleep.
After snacking and reading the cyber news I felt an urge to try out a new chatroom. Some are not for me but in the past I had found a few that were legit and discussed the topic of the room. Health rooms were among my favorite subjects so I headed to there.
After only thirty minutes or so in the room a gentleman ask to private message me and I agreed only if he would talk seriously and not sexually. He readily agreed.
We spoke generically for a few and then I sensed some real upsettment within this man....He had not uttered any words that would lead me...I saw his soul! Becoming afraid myself I asked if he felt alright......and he replied "he had much on his mind"
The visions in my mind were coming fast and furious as I typed to him that I saw him and 4 others on a houseboat and much partying . It was dark but I could only see outlines of the young men. All of a sudden we were on the beach and a young lady was asking for them to stop touching her. Oh My God ......her face is shoved in the sand! At this point I ask him if he wanted to talk to me and he was much interested in how I could see all this. I tried to answer his questions but I was so out of breath.....I for moments felt that I was this girl. She was telling me she hated the feel of the sand and that they hurt her badly.
As the night progressed he began opening up to me and said that he had been married for 10 years and this event was eating him alive. He ask me should he tell his wife?? This was very complicated to answer...for i had to tell him I knew this lady was dead and that I didn't see him kill her....but a part of the rape!
Being scared did not help me in this few hours. He actually believed I could pick him out of the Billions of people that use the internet. Because I could describe him did not mean I could find him nor was I even going to try. My assurances to him didn't help as he still wanted my name and where I lived. For I was seeing mainly his soul and the vessel was a man with dark hair. That was all I saw regarding his looks.
We continued chatting and my advice was to tell his wife would only burden her and that his confession to me should help ease his guilt somewhat. Ofcourse to turn himself and the others in would be the right thing to do but I knew this man was not going to do that.
For the last 2 years I have not written about this account due to feeling some guilt myself. She was someones daughter and a child of God. She came to me to share her story and I could not bring myself to take this info the the police.
The murder and rape of this young lady was almost 20 years ago and his guilt seemed to serve as some punishment and he did not kill her. I felt and heard his pain and almost caught myself feeling sympathy for him. Now I carry guilt as well ....