ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Letter from Berith to a minor demon.

Updated on February 13, 2012

Letter from Berith to a minor demon.

My dear Scudbucket,

It is always a pain in the piles to hear from you and your horrid part in humanities vile existence, the very arrival of your missive reminded me to command you to scrape the walls of hells latrines for a month, however your last report did contain one question that I deign to reply to, so even your futile little form has some use, as my recounting will again remind me of the horrors to come for our beloved 'atheists', so called self basters because unlike the rest of our flotsam and human debris we accumulate, they choose to deny our existence of their own accord! (LOLOLOLO).

You wondered why they chose to ignore us despite the fact that we are ever present in their meagre existences, well I will explain.

Until only a few decades ago the other one held such sway over humanities existence that hardly anyone challenged the other ones words and professors, you were simply too low to know that scientists used to work at establishing how the other ones formed the blob of dust they swarm upon, and our Merciless Masters' name was held in low contempt in every part of the kingdom, so in effect we had a kingdom but no real power to destroy as well we are capable.

The occasional cleric would become available to us when caught in our nets, and we could shape their minds to seeing how unfair and unreasonable the other ones words and commands were, some even worked as agent provocateurs for us in spouting our lies, but unfortunately our other sections, working as a fifth column inside the other ones ranks, would normally burn them at the stake as soon as they were discovered, still, they burnt nicely and I spent many smouldering days watching those flames rise into the sky whilst awaiting the carcases to arrive here!

Then our Horribleness came up with a masterful solution, and we were commanded to find the most frustrated of those exploring 'science'.

Those we found were open minded and you know how that helps in subversion, so we simply set about feeding selected ones of them concepts that could never be proven, but allowed sufficient doubt to occur that would keep them alive.

They took it a step further than even His Ghastliness could hope for and started a race to produce works announcing this new claim, with the two principal self basters being a Frenchman and an Englishman.

The 'frog bastard' as Darwin called him was about to publish first, which is what tipped Darwins' hand and allowed us to have the propaganda put out in the then largest empire ( of course we have America now to thank for 'breaking new ground' with our High Deviousnesses lies and deception) and although it took a while, we were able to fan the smouldering embers of nonsense into a cacophony of ceaseless propaganda not surpassed until dear old Goebbals took our pledge.

Of course the worst part was that it's rumoured in low places that the malfeasant escaped our clutches by recanting our lies and appealing to the other one, who with his normal horrific character granted the old codger a full pardon, but we keep that quiet from the self basters, or His Unscrupulousness knows how many we may lose at the last fence.

The blindness they exhibit makes it easier for us to control them than ANY other variety of sweetmeat on offer to us...
The blindness they exhibit makes it easier for us to control them than ANY other variety of sweetmeat on offer to us...

But I digress, and you are lacking the answer to your humble enquiry... the reason I love atheists best of all is because they do a fine job for us and are low maintenance for His Disagreeablenesses kingdom to control.

The blindness they exhibit makes it easier for us to control them than ANY other variety of sweetmeat on offer to us, a criminal we can deal with by greed and avarice quite simply, adulterers succumb to lust and vanity like snuffing out candles in a storm.

But with both we need to use care, for given the slightest opportunity for the thief to feel remorse, or the whore to feel wounded virtue and the other one will be there in a shot, with his sordid offers of forgiveness and oozing his repulsive excess of grace and mercy.

These turkeys however hold no such fear for us, they believe they control their own lives, so they never suspect our involvement when things take a turn for the worse in them, when we trip them up and they become aware of their crassness, we can show them that the guilt they feel is from the other one, and remind them what a puny little god he is.

We make them even declare it from the roof tops in full voice, howling like a wolf on the full moon and oblivious to our part no matter what fools they appear to their other humans.

So that's why I love atheists.......

Oh and the fact that they burn well, like pine logs full of sap and eager to release it into the flames, and what a hellish scent they exude, hypocrisy and cant mixed with stunned surprise when they realise that the final frontier of death was actually only a border post, and their sojourn in eternity was only just beginning rather than ending.... such a sour odour and so malodourous to the nostrils.

I think I hear another atheist malfeasant coming now, screaming and kicking and telling my servants what fools they are.....this will be fun, he's calling for his Daddy! - what a fool.


Ukobach, come here you worthless sprite of a demon, and bring me my rotisserie!


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • aguasilver profile imageAUTHOR

      John Harper 

      6 years ago from Malaga, Spain

      Thanks for the comment dmop, I will look out for your Birthday Card essay, have you put it on the hub?


    • dmop profile image


      6 years ago from Cambridge City, IN

      Very interesting method of delivery of your point. I like it. I once wrote an essay from the prospective of a Birthday Card on its creation, delivery to the store, purchase, etc. Not sure if the two are connected I just thought I'd share that. At any rate, Thanks for posting I enjoyed it and perhaps learned a thing or two.

    • aguasilver profile imageAUTHOR

      John Harper 

      7 years ago from Malaga, Spain

      Thanks Website Examiner, that explains why there was a critique of it.... not used to those! even when they are useful!!!

    • profile image

      Website Examiner 

      7 years ago

      Aguasilver, for your information I took the liberty of featuring this hub in my Fiction Readers Club. I am delighted to see that some of the members have already made their presence known. Best regards, W.E.

    • aguasilver profile imageAUTHOR

      John Harper 

      7 years ago from Malaga, Spain

      Try Mere Christianity....

    • marshacanada profile image


      7 years ago from Vancouver BC

      Write about that meeting with Berith. It would be exciting!!!-or have you already? Dialogue with some rizing tension and action pulls the reader along.

      I made a mistake-Henry James wrote "Turn of the Screw"

      The books I have read and enjoyed by C.S. Lewis are "The Narnia Chronicles" and "Out of the Silent Planet".

    • aguasilver profile imageAUTHOR

      John Harper 

      7 years ago from Malaga, Spain

      Lewis had a very English style of writing, and wrote Screwtape during WW2 when it was read on BBC Radio to the Empire!

      So my 'style' in this piece is similar to his, but CS was an Anglo Catholic University Professor who taught and wrote in ancient languages, so the similarity endeth there!

      Maybe I will do a duologue between the demons given to collecting lost souls?

      Read Screwtape (you can find at least sections of it online) well worth the read, or even the expenditure!

      CS was no evangelical, indeed very staid in his faith, but he was a great logical apologist who left us some unassailable reasons to believe.

      I first read him as an atheist....

      But he was not my reason for coming to faith, that was related to meeting Berith, or maybe one or two of his minions...

    • marshacanada profile image


      7 years ago from Vancouver BC

      Hi aguasilver. I like reading all kinds of styles but I have never tried writing anything like this monologue of yours-did C.S. Lewis write like that? Didn't he write "Turn of the Screw?'.

      I would like to see a second version of your spoof.

      I can't remember if I ever read "The Screwtape Letters."

    • aguasilver profile imageAUTHOR

      John Harper 

      7 years ago from Malaga, Spain

      Hi marshacanada, thanks for the critique, and you are probably right, it's one of my earlier pieces, but it was actually a 'spoof' based upon C.S. Lewis's book 'The Screwtape Letters'. Maybe I will do a part two with your suggestions!

      Will, thanks for visiting, we work with different genres, and you are certainly a master at yours!

    • marshacanada profile image


      7 years ago from Vancouver BC

      Thanks for this good piece of writing. I like the sarcastic tone, the one good character and the interesting phylosophical point of view. But I wish there was more action and perhaps another character speaking back to produce some dramatic tension. And the old classic writing question-Where is this piece going? The monologue goes on a bit long for my taste.However if it is a bit of hellish preaching the length is OK, but it could do with a bit more variety say some visual details about the locale and the various characters.

    • WillStarr profile image


      7 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      No one feels the call to preach like an atheist. They complain about all the 'religion' threads created in the political forums, but never seem to realize that they are almost all created by other atheists.

      Great work!

    • aguasilver profile imageAUTHOR

      John Harper 

      8 years ago from Malaga, Spain

      Hi Fiction Factory, chew away! - If you enjoyed this get hold of C.S.Lewis's 'Screwtape Letters' of which is the inspiration for this format.... Lewis wrote it in 1941 (I think) and it acquired almost a cult following for the time, with massive sales.

    • Fiction Factory profile image

      Fiction Factory 

      8 years ago

      It borders on brilliant what you have written here, no doubt. Sophisticated, playful, original both in form and substance. We are still chewing on it, though.

    • aguasilver profile imageAUTHOR

      John Harper 

      9 years ago from Malaga, Spain

      Hi 50 Caliber, I find a little light hearted ridicule will bring most bullies to their knees, you see bullies need to believe people fear them, but once one person points out their foolishness, it's like the kings new clothes, everyone sees they are naked and just as stupid as we are.

      We have nothing to fear from these fools, so dive in and practice the fruits of the spirit on them!

    • 50 Caliber profile image

      50 Caliber 

      9 years ago from Arizona


      I was almost lost on this hub until you made the comment about "Daddy lolololol" and it brought back the forum that caused me to go toward enraged and evil thoughts about killing that poster, and remembered I don't have to partake in the wickedness of people like him, I have the power to turn away, and I did.

      Thanks for the Hub, you are helping me hone my thoughts to peace and harmony with my fellow humans.

    • profile image


      9 years ago


      I hate to tell you this but I think you missed to op to deny my comment. You're right it's too long and I appreciate your honesty in not wanting to display it but it's there already so - sorry bout that! Please do remove it if you can - I don't want to detract from your Hub. Thanks.

    • aguasilver profile imageAUTHOR

      John Harper 

      9 years ago from Malaga, Spain

      matt6v33, I thank you once again....are you sure there are no atheists in hell? ;o)

      My name's John! I'd be honoured if you called me it, my Dad was 'Sir' and I feel old when people give me titles I don't deserve or require!

      Jim, I think you should turn your comment into a hub, with a bit of work it would make a good exposé and maybe the 'authorities' would be more concerned about something which potentially could be seen by the public. It's a mite too long at 544 words on 46 lines for these comments, the next visitor would need to pop out and make coffee before they reached the end!

      Maybe I'll try to edit it and make a hub?

      As for me and my house, we will carry on hubbing, and where needed lambasting with pointed humour, the Pharisee Atheist Brigade that masquerades as 'The Spaghetti Monsters Fools Society'....well they masquerade as many other alter egos as well, but nobody seems to notice that.....

    • matt6v33 profile image


      9 years ago from Bangkok, Thailand

      hello sir,

      nice "Food For Thought" u r good! :) hey, it reminds me of this fact: There are No Athesists in Hell!

    • aguasilver profile imageAUTHOR

      John Harper 

      9 years ago from Malaga, Spain

      Piercing the Darkness (his first book) was the book that started my humanism to disintegrate, and it collapsed when I first called on the name of Christ, in a drug induced situation, and the person I directed it to flew six foot backwards, hit a wall and fell into a stupor (saved the day, he wanted to break neck)... not tooo long later I surrendered and came to faith!

      I'll look out Good Omens... This Present Darkness I read after Piercing, still good books and ones I will point 'cusping' half believers towards

    • Rob-Jr profile image


      9 years ago from Warrensburg, Mo.

      Nice Work, have you read Good Omens, or this Present darkness? Your hub seems to have elements of both in it....


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)