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Finding Purpose in My Life -You Must be Joking- I am Way Too Busy!

Updated on January 16, 2020

We were put on this earth at this time for a purpose designed by God. Whether or not we live out that purpose is up to us.

Sometimes our purpose seems obvious: to develop a new vaccine; to raise a disabled child; to help the poor; to finance the mission field; to create art, music, sculpture; to build roads, schools, cities; to colonize new territories, even new planets; to teach, to preach, or to model cultural and spiritual values.

Sometimes our purpose is not obvious at all.We can not see a clear or meaningful purpose for our lives for all the difficulties, burdens and losses we seem to experience on a day by day basis. We do not have enough of the right education. We don’t have enough money. We have a family that takes all our time, energy, money and patience. We have no interest in either far away people or pioneering causes.

It's a Busy Life for Women in the Home
It's a Busy Life for Women in the Home | Source
People Rushing to and from Work
People Rushing to and from Work | Source

“Find purpose in my life? You must be joking! I haven’t got time for my life as it is”

Sometimes it hurts just getting out of bed in the morning. And trying to sleep at night can verge on mania as we replay life’s angers, resentments, problems, fears and longings. Sometimes our burdens seem so heavy and never-ending. If we could just get some relief from the constant pain of them. If we could just stop the treadmill, the merry-go-round, the deadening repetition of the thankless yet demanding duties we must perform, maybe then we could see a purpose to our lives.

I’m So Bored
At other times our life seems so boring, so hum-drum, so uneventful and sometimes so useless that we end up just ‘going through the motions’. We can’t see a purpose to our lives and we can’t motivate ourselves to even try to find one.

I Don’t Have Enough
When we do not seem to have what we want or what we believe we need to make something of ourselves and our life, we may think, “What’s the use?” “Why bother?” We believe that before we can get ourselves to a place where we can relax from the ‘rat race’ and focus on profound things like ‘a life’s purpose’, we need something else: more money, more education, better health, a bigger home, a better car, and certainly more free time.

Getting what we think we need before we can even think of finding real meaning in our life seems like just so much effort. So, we just give up. And we rationalize why we can not have, be, or do what we think we must have, be or do in order to even start to find real meaning in life.

Why Can’t I Have What I See Others Have
This rationalization, though convenient to justify taking no action, is a poisonous form of self deceit. And this rationalization is very difficult to maintain. It hurts to think about what we don’t have or why we can’t get it. It hurts to feel overburdened yet longing for the freedom to pursue our dreams. And it hurts our character to feel jealousy at seeing others having what we want so badly. We may even sink so low as to steal or cheat to have what we think we need to lead a purposeful life.

I’m Not Worthy
When we don’t have what we want, yet see others enjoying these things we may feel we are not worthy, not good enough or it’s our fate to not have what we believe we need in order to get to the point of self actualization. If our desire to find purpose in our life is strong but we feel frustrated and disillusioned at every turn, we may resort to using all kinds of magic potions and panacea in order to ‘hold on’, to get through the night or get through the day. And we slip into a routine of restless sleep at night and drifting numbness by day without ever having those things we long for.

Your Purpose May Not Be as a Missionary
Your Purpose May Not Be as a Missionary | Source

Finding purpose in life can mean major changes

The Fear of Finding a Purpose to Our Life
Finding meaning and purpose in life probably involves considerable change and new pain and suffering. Or, so we believe. It can also mean making great sacrifices of material things and personal relationships.

It might mean giving up the hurts and pains we are familiar with for what we are not familiar with and probably won’t be able to bear: new hurts, new pains, new angers and resentments, new challenges and maybe even higher hurdles to climb. Better the ‘devil we know than the devil we don’t know’.

And if it’s a God-given purpose that we believe we need in our life, it might mean going to a really poor country troubled by war. We may find ourselves in the back of beyond, living in a mud hut, eating strange food (if there is much food at all), tormented by flies and mosquitoes, or worse. And it will almost assuredly mean meeting new people, maybe hostile people, maybe sick and dying people. Having to learn to help them, to really give to them of our time, our courage, and our hope. And, hardest of all, to love them – all the time, not just when it’s convenient.

Finding Purpose Requires a Paradigm Shift

The thought of taking on a new or different purpose can be daunting to say the least. Finding purpose in our life, a God-given purpose, can require a willingness to stop directing all our thoughts and feelings inward. “What do I want?” “What will satisfy me?” “What purpose in life will really give meaning to my life?” “What purpose in life will make me feel whole and complete, especially in the latter part of my life.” “What purpose in life will make me feel respected; will really be the ‘capstone’ to my life?”

Instead of thinking strictly along these rather self-centered lines try looking outwards and seeing what you night be able to do right now. Don’t worry if you are not feeling well or happy right this minute, go out (of yourself) and see what someone else may need. You may be surprised to learn that what someone else needs right now may be exactly what you have to give: a smile, a warm word, something you have two or three of and no longer need. Just be open to others and enjoy what opens up for you.

God Works Through His People

If we are a child of God we will have a strong desire to learn and practice leading a life pleasing to God. If we keep reading His Word (the Bible) we can begin to learn what our purpose in life may be. God will put many opportunities to help others, right in front of us. Pick up the phone and call someone, knock on a door and talk to someone, smile to a neighbor, hug your spouse, help a senior do something. In this way you may find an extremely satisfying purpose in your life—a God-given Purpose.

2011-2013; © Maralexa, Marilyn Alexander, MBA. All rights reserved.


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    • Maralexa profile imageAUTHOR

      Marilyn Alexander 

      8 years ago from Vancouver, Canada

      Yes, I agree carter06, I think it is important that we get on with life and not spend too much time wallowing in a search for the 'ultimate meaning' of life. But it seems to me that taking a look at where we are going and what are values are, is a good thing to do every once in a while. Things change and as you say, clearing out obstacles and all things that no longer work for us can make a huge difference. Thanks so much for your insightful comments.

    • carter06 profile image


      8 years ago from Cronulla NSW

      I've just found this one Maralexa and really appreciate your insight...I think it's important to take time to weigh up what we are here for & what we should be doing...then I think it's good to get on with it and not put obstacles in our way as there is so much to do...great hub voted up,useful, interesting & shared...cheers

    • Maralexa profile imageAUTHOR

      Marilyn Alexander 

      9 years ago from Vancouver, Canada

      What insightful comments. Isn't it amazing how life changes for the better when we finally get rid of all the things people said we should want. I would consider 'your calling' to be noble. You are helping others, you are making a positive difference in people's lives, and your writing proves that. thanks for your comments, JamaGenee.

    • JamaGenee profile image

      Joanna McKenna 

      9 years ago from Central Oklahoma

      Several years ago, I realized the treadmill Seeker7 speaks of was going to kill me sooner than later, so I re-arranged my life to make it possible to GET OFF.

      Best thing I ever did. Sure, I don't have all the *things* I might *want* (or once had), but it's true that 'you can't take [things] with you', and I DO have everything I *need*. More importantly, I'm still around to talk about it.

      An article in a local free weekly newspaper about 20 years ago was on finding one's true calling. It said that whatever hobby or interest one is most passionate about and *looks forward to doing* on the weekend after working all week at a job one hates is a good clue to one's real purpose in life.

      I'm 100% sure that helping the poor in a backwater village is not mine. Instead, it appears to be gathering the history of my family and others. Not nearly as "noble", but it's what makes me look forward to getting out of bed each day, which is really what life is about! ;D

    • akune profile image


      9 years ago from Surrey, England, United Kingdom

      This is a topic that affects a mega percentage of people. The mini clip Living a Life of Purpose here is worth a listen.

    • Maralexa profile imageAUTHOR

      Marilyn Alexander 

      9 years ago from Vancouver, Canada

      Thank you for the super comment, sweethearts2. You are so right!

    • sweethearts2 profile image


      9 years ago from Northwest Indiana

      Another great read and another great and powerful attitude you project. Our purpose is not always marked for greatness. The greatness of our purpose is sometimes measured in the some of the smallest things we do.

    • Maralexa profile imageAUTHOR

      Marilyn Alexander 

      9 years ago from Vancouver, Canada

      Thank you for your comments J. It's the chores that seem to take time from really appreciating the important things in life. I have said this before but I really like your Profile. Sometimes I wonder if our purpose in life might be a whole series of little things that we do that impact on others.

      Thanks again.

    • profile image

      J Yoder 

      9 years ago

      So very true, maralexa! I also find it that life gets in the way of what's really important, God's purpose in my life. Thought provoking article.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      I don't know about God's purpose though the religion I follow says "Maya and Lila." But according to Victor Frank "Man's Search for Meaning" is the ultimate purpose of life.

    • Seeker7 profile image

      Helen Murphy Howell 

      9 years ago from Fife, Scotland

      Great hub!

      I think - reading your hub again - and going over my own feelngs about life's purpose, I wonder if the way our society is made contributes a lot to 'lack of purpose'. I have seen many of the elderly people I care for, busting their guts for years working hard, day in day out, and finally retiring, only then to face poverty - this then often leads to ill-health. For these people, throughout their working lives (and I'm referring to what we call in the UK 'working class'), they, like me, go through Maslow's hierarchy - in that until the lower needs are satisfied, (hunger, warmth, security) then the higher needs - spiritual, creativity etc. - really don't count. Now if God or any other higher force created humanity then surely this god force should recognise this and not expect - at least for us mugs on the bottom of the society ladder - to have that many 'high' thoughts, as we are far too busy keeping on top of what life brings along.

      But why is it that we have built society on such a gruelling treadmill? Why should people have to work 50+ years and for longer hours than they have off? I realise I'm talking about a fool's paradise, but I think as long as we have a society built on a continuing soul-destroying treadmill for the majority, then life will definately continue to get in the way of a higher purpose. You only have to look at my face on a Monday morning and those of others at the bus stop to know that we are not thinking about anything other than another boring week ahead. LOL!

      Many thanks for sharing this very thought provoking hub.

    • Stacie L profile image

      Stacie L 

      9 years ago

      Life seems to always get in the way! LOL

      good hub..:-)

    • Lucky Cats profile image


      9 years ago from The beautiful Napa Valley, California

      Amazing insight, Maralexa! Absolutely clear thinking with a huge grasp on so many of the obstacles we either allow to hinder our ability to "live" this life or we, unwittingly, accept as normal, 'just the way it is." Along with this is the fear of 'success,' in the broad sense as well as immediate sense. so many roadblocks to happiness and contentment...I think if (the proverbial) "we" can just step back and pay attention to that which gives us real joy, happiness; whether it is momentary or lengthy...then, we might have our finger on the pulse of purpose.

      We are as you have described, here, as a result of our environment; a feeling of entitlement and the urge and encouragment to see 'happiness' as being "out there." While, concurrently, we are taught (subliminally - covertly - and not, necessarily, even intentionally..just by nature of the construction of our society (W. Hemisphere) that we are never "enough," not "good enough," etc...I know you could complete this list! So, we look outward, thinking the panacea; the 'answer' is there.

      Our happiness and feeling of purpose does not hinge on a prescribed or assigned behavior, possession, appearance, etc. (though, I know, it's very difficult at times to ignore this or see through it...)..but, we have been taught, guided towards seeing ourselves as imperfect and flawed and, thus, needing to improve upon ourselves through outward means...this will always fail.

      I know I'm going on far beyond what I intended...I think that we agree that to accept oneself and enjoy, practice and participate in that which we allow ourselves to discover as sources of happiness then, we might be on the road to true success...contentment, self liking and life.

      Just woke up so , I know I'm rambling.

      Maralexa..this is an Excellent hub; you're very astute and write very very well...All positive buttons UPUPUP

      PS..Maralexa, having read two of your hubs previously, I have a sneaking feeling that your love for and nurturing of a beautiful feline life is an important part of your purpose. I know, it is mine.


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