Life after The Death of a Loved One
My Sister's Move
I just returned from Hollywood Beach, Florida and had a nice time with my sister, Norma. I generally don't travel in August as the weather is too hot, but wanted to give her moral support as she moved two weeks ago from New York.
It's amazing, how fast she has adjusted to her new town. She is in her element as she is very artistic and sociable, and the town where she lives has cultural events and very friendly residents who already have extended invitations to her. She moved, in order to start life afresh - alone, without her 18 year old son, Omar who passed away 3 years ago.
Her estranged husband who became ill with several strokes after their son's passing lives overseas. She was very nervous before moving as she literally gave up everything, being near her older son and his new Thai wife, (who are moving back to Thailand in 3 years or so) friends, a gorgeous apt, office space for her business, and will be living alone in Florida, so it was a gamble she was taking. She made the move because emotionally NY became too stressful for her to continue living there.
A day or so before she left NY, I did a meditation and asked that a sign be given to her in a dream or while awake that would give her strength and courage to make her move. On the morning before her departure, she had a dream with her son Omar, and he was rocking her back and forth gently, while kissing her tenderly. She woke up with a deep feeling of love embracing her, and she knew this was a confirmation that she had made the right decision. I was grateful that neither time or distance, or even death stands in the way of a spiritual connection, if we but keep our minds and hearts open and free of anger and bitterness.
"I believe there are two sides
to the phenomenon known
as death, this side where we
live, and the other side
where we shall continue to
live. Eternity does not start
with death. We are in
---Norman Vincent Peale
Tonight, sis shared an email with me, and it made me cry because not even the passing of her son has made her bitter or lose the will to live, and she is ever ready to help others. Her friend Mary, was at a dance studio recently, and a male friend passed away while at the dance studio; one minute he was laughing and joking with friends, and the next, he collapsed and died almost instantly in front of everyone. Mary went to the beach with a friend in order to deal with the shock and sadness of her friend's passing:
Hi Mary: It was a good idea to go the beach, as it's a spiritual connection to nature, to God, and a way to talk to Tony from your heart... I know it must be hard for you, for Naomi and people that knew him from Mendes, but if you think about it, it was a beautiful passing, doing what he loved; dancing, with his friends of many years, no suffering because it was fast, and he was not that old, but he had lived his life. He is in a better place for sure, and now "dancing with the angels"
Everyday, I go out in the morning and I look at the ocean and the sky meeting each other like in a continous line of changing colors, and it makes me cry, because I realize how precious everyday is.. I talk to God, and sometimes I complain and ask Him, why he took my son, and other times I tell Him to take good care of my Omar, and to give me the strength to live a full life until is my time to be with him again. Eveyday I write Omar's name in the sand, and I wait for the waves to come and take it away, then I continue walking and pray that I have a good day of inner strength and grace....
I understand how you feel!
For her writing her son's name in the sand every morning, is her moment of communion with her son's spirit, and this ritual gives her a sense of peace. It humbles me to see how the beauty of spirit can shine even in the midst of sorrow.
Temporary Visitors on Planet Earth
I cannot pretend to know the answer to life's mysteries, none of us do, or understand why certain events happen, but I do know that we all handle the loss of a loved one, and life's ups and downs uniquely. One gift I have gained from Omar's passing is that I am more attuned to life - and changed my priorities. I see clearly how prayers or my intentions manifest quickly such as my request for a sign for sis, not because of a secret formula, but because it's the nature of life to be co-creative.
Each day is precious to me as life is sacred, and I have no interest in engaging in drama with others or being focused on that which depletes my energy; my interest is in living with a sense of connection to a higher part of myself, be creative, and to live my life the best way I know how.
When the day comes for me to leave this world, I hope I will feel at the core of my being that I lived my life fully and will have no regrets.
'When you were born, you
cried and the world
Live your life in a manner
so that when you die the
world cries and you
---Native American Proverb