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Living Single and Loving God

Updated on July 12, 2013
drmiddlebrook profile image

Dr. Middlebrook is a fiction-writing coach, author (pen name Beax Rivers), online course developer, and former university professor.

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Whether we choose to remain single, or if things have just worked out that way, facing life alone does not mean you have to be lonely.

As Christian women and men, when we're single we’re still obligated to live under God’s guidelines. Being single is not a “green light” to engage in sinful living. All of us are made in the image of God to reflect the image of God. None of us were made to reflect the image of Satan. Therefore, being single should be seen as a special opportunity; an exceptional chance to live a life where our relationship with God is placed above all other relationships in our lives.

Single and Childless

I believe God gives single, childless women and men a special chance to live for Him. While being married and raising a family can also be a wonderful and blessed way to live your life for God, not everyone will be so blessed. That does not mean your life is any less important or any less worthwhile in the eyes of God.

Being married with children can bring much joy, but it also brings many responsibilities that single, childless women and men do not have to face. When not encumbered with the daily considerations of marriage and parenthood, it is possible to devote a dimension of your life to God that married people and parents often must lovingly give to/share with their mates and their children. As single Christians, not having these considerations can provide needed time to do exceptional work for God every day.

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We can choose to be sad and lonely, or we can be a light of inspiration and hope for those whose lives we touch: Family members, friends, acquaintances, co-workers, and others. We don't have to live our lives feeling or being alone and separated from all other human beings. Remember that in Genesis, God created a mate for Adam because He desired for mankind to not be alone. So, as single people, male or female, God does not mean for us to be alone. Even though it is not a sin to be single (remember, Jesus Christ was a single man, according to the Bible), it is still not good to be alone. I believe single people should use their lives to become good examples of how life can be lived on purpose, fully and bountifully, in obedience to a loving God.

None of us, married or single, with or without children, should allow anything to come between us and our relationship with God. Whether we are married parents or single and childless, as Christians our primary relationship should be with our Creator. When any of us allow mortal beings to occupy a place in our lives that is higher than our relationship with God, problems usually arise in these relationships. This happens because God does not desire that we place any mortal being above Him. When we allow people to begin to feel our relationship with them is more important to us than our relationship with God, it usually leads to them feeling they hold an inordinate amount of power over us, and problems set in when they begin to try to wield that power.

Being alone does not have to mean being lonely. Because the most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved, living your life for God can provide a sense of unlimited peace and connection.
Being alone does not have to mean being lonely. Because the most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved, living your life for God can provide a sense of unlimited peace and connection. | Source

Being Single Offers a Good Amount of Needed "Alone Time"

Singles who are living for God, who welcome interaction with others, should also value “alone time” spent in solitude and meditation. Alone time is needed so that we can compare how we're living our lives with what God's word says about how we're living our lives. By spending time reading the Bible and meditating on the word of God, we can adjust and readjust our thinking as needed, as we become inspired and enlightened by God’s word. God's word provides both knowledge and wisdom, and together, promotes understanding.

Also, even though God’s word doesn’t change, as human beings we change, and the world around us changes. Therefore, single or married with children, all Christians have a constant need to examine and reexamine how we’re living. The only way to do this is to hold the choices we’re making in our lives up against the light of God's word. If our choices cannot or do not hold up to what the word of God's says, then we know we need to make changes in our choices.

Singleness: A Special Chance for a Special Relationship with God

Single men and women who don't have children have a special chance to live a special life for God. If we are single and living according to God’s guidelines, it should be easy to place God first in our lives. With God being put first, before any and all other considerations, we can allow our lives to be living testimonials to His glory. That does not mean living a life of solitude. Just the opposite. It means we should seek out interaction with others so that we can fulfill our God-given purpose for being alive. In order to influence others as Christians, we have to be in the presence of other people. In order to demonstrate our walk with God, we have to invite other people to join us on our Christian journey. In order to become strengthened by the fellowship of God in other Christians, we must go and be among other people, in some way.

By seeking friendship with others who believe in living life while being obedient to the word of God, singles are able to not only broaden and deepen their understanding of God and Christianity, we are also able to feel connected to life and to other people who are also striving and struggling to live life according to God's guidelines. This is not to say we won't encounter problems in our relationships with others. Any time anything involves flesh-focused human beings, there will be problems. Christians are human beings just like all other human beings. We should never go into any relationship expecting there to be no problems. But, as Christians, we should understand that we live to glorify God in all we do, in all our relationships with others. That means we should work to bring the light of God to every relationship, every gathering, and every situation that becomes part of our life experience. That means doing God’s work while living single, and allowing God to work through us.

Our friendships and interactions with others should provide opportunities for us to demonstrate the love of God. We should offer to listen to someone who needs to be heard, provide advice and counsel when and where we can, and help others in ways God has enabled us to help. We should be open and welcoming of opportunities where we can allow others to see the light and the love of God shining through us, in all we do.

© 2013 Sallie B Middlebrook PhD

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    • drmiddlebrook profile image
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      Sallie B Middlebrook PhD 2 years ago from Texas, USA

      Thank you Inspired Heart. So true, being single can be a "sensitive matter," for some of us single Christian women. I look at the example Jesus set for all of mankind, and he was single. That is what lets me know we can live our lives for God as Believers, no matter whether we are married or single. It is a mindset we can choose, and with God as our Guide, we can live faithful, fulfilling lives.

    • Inspired Heart profile image

      Yvette Stupart 2 years ago from Jamaica

      Thanks for writing on an issue that can be a sensitive matter for some single Christian women. It is so important that as Christian women (single or married) we find genuine self-esteem and happiness in Christ.

      I like the point you made about seeing our friendships and interactions as opportunities to demonstrate God's love. Again, this applies to all of us.

      Blessings.

    • Julie K Henderson profile image

      Julie K Henderson 2 years ago

      You are very welcome. I like the message on your mom's key chain.

    • drmiddlebrook profile image
      Author

      Sallie B Middlebrook PhD 2 years ago from Texas, USA

      Thank you for your visit, the vote up, and for your comments Julie K Henderson. My mother used to have a gold key chain that was the words "God first." I keep that key chain in mind every day. Thanks again. : )

    • Julie K Henderson profile image

      Julie K Henderson 2 years ago

      Bravo. Thank you for addressing this topic in an encouraging, realistic manner. I agree wholeheartedly that anyone--whether single, married, a parent, or childless--needs to put their relationship with God first. Voted up.

    • drmiddlebrook profile image
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      Sallie B Middlebrook PhD 3 years ago from Texas, USA

      sda, I hope you'll view what I wrote as encouragement. Everyone feels "great pain and despair" sometime, and it's what you do about it that matters. As I said in the article, "Our friendships and interactions with others should provide opportunities for us to demonstrate the love of God." When you live with a purpose of demonstrating the love of God, and providing your testimony to all who will seek Him, then your pain and despair, I believe, will be short-lived. May God bless and keep you.

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      sda 3 years ago

      i don't know i feel great pain and despair

    • drmiddlebrook profile image
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      Sallie B Middlebrook PhD 3 years ago from Texas, USA

      cristina327, I'm sure you're "a light of inspiration and hope for those whose lives you touch." It's not easy being single, but when you're committed to living your life on purpose, for God, believing and trusting in His holy Word will always guide you through the challenges of life. Take care, and thanks so much for sharing.

    • cristina327 profile image

      cristina327 3 years ago from Manila

      It is great to know that you are single for I am also single all my life never been married. Thank you for such a great encouragement to me.

    • drmiddlebrook profile image
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      Sallie B Middlebrook PhD 3 years ago from Texas, USA

      Thank you cristina327. I've always been single, and living life as a single woman can be a particularly great challenge in this day and age (probably in any day/age). Staying in close connection with God, through Jesus--for me, is the best and only way to live a truly blessed life. So nice to hear from you, and I'm glad you found some "great words of wisdom" in what I wrote.

    • cristina327 profile image

      cristina327 3 years ago from Manila

      Great hub. Great words of wisdom for singles. This is indeed a great exhortation for singles. Blessings to you. Thank you for sharing these great insights.

    • drmiddlebrook profile image
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      Sallie B Middlebrook PhD 4 years ago from Texas, USA

      Thank you mabelhenry, for your visit, kind words, and for the invitation to read your Hub. I will definitely do so. You're right, "being single doesn't mean you are alone!" God is omnipresent, and as singles, many of us are able to devote more of our time to communicating with Him.

    • mabelhenry profile image

      mabelhenry 4 years ago from Harrisburlg, Pennsylvania

      Praise the Lord for the voice and expression of the Christian single. Singleness is a road and pathway to God that is full of contentment when the focus is on Him and a relationship heart to heart with Him. This is a powerful hub and I thank God for you. I've written a hub on singleness also entitled, "BEING SINGLE - DOESN'T MEAN YOU ARE ALONE! IT MEANS GOD IS OMNIPRESENT" I invite you to read it, if feasible, we are saying the same exact things only through different paths of expression. Grace and peace.

    • drmiddlebrook profile image
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      Sallie B Middlebrook PhD 4 years ago from Texas, USA

      Thanks so much, Efficient Admin. You are so right. As Christians, we all should be seeking God's will for our lives, not our own. When we pray and ask Him to guide us to His will, I think it ultimately will lead us to know we're on the right path. Living a depressed, defeated existence is no substitute for seeking God's purpose; something that can only be good. It could be that seeking His purpose could also lead to finding the right mate, if marriage is part of God's will for your life.

    • Efficient Admin profile image

      Efficient Admin 4 years ago from Charlotte, NC

      What an excellent hub on this subject. I would love to link it to one of my hubs. I believe too many Christian singles focus too much on "getting married" rather than finding God's will for their lives. Maybe it is God's will for them to marry, maybe not. Maybe He has something else for them but they are too busy sitting around depressed and feeling sorry for themselves because they aren't married yet.

    • drmiddlebrook profile image
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      Sallie B Middlebrook PhD 4 years ago from Texas, USA

      Thank you for your visit and your kind/insightful comments. You are so right. I believe "Singles are able to be more focused on directly serving in God's work than married believers are." I've been single my entire life, and most of my siblings are married. Many of my observations are based on the difference between my life and those of my married siblings, all of whom have children. We're a family of believers, but our time/ability to focus is very different.

    • RonElFran profile image

      Ronald E Franklin 4 years ago from Mechanicsburg, PA

      I hope singles will see that time in their lives as an opportunity to focus more intently on their own growth and on service. I think that's what Paul is saying in 1 Cor 7. Singles are able to be more focused on directly serving in God's work than married believers are. Thanks for a good hub.

    • drmiddlebrook profile image
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      Sallie B Middlebrook PhD 4 years ago from Texas, USA

      Thank you so much BlossomSB, my fellow Apprentice and HP friend in Christ, for the visit and for reading and commenting on this article. Of course there are many situations that can bring us to "singleness," and that can leave us alone. But you're right, when we live while loving God and Christ, we're never really alone, and our faith offers us so many ways to bless and to be blessed.

    • BlossomSB profile image

      Bronwen Scott-Branagan 4 years ago from Victoria, Australia

      An interesting hub. There are many people who were once married and have lost their life's partner and are now alone, but there's no need to be lonely. When we have Jesus in our lives we have the best friend and companion ever to share everything and give us great joy.

    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

      DeBorrah K Ogans 4 years ago

      You are so welcome I shared the link! I am sure that many will be encouraged! This really is a wonderful article! Thank You!

    • drmiddlebrook profile image
      Author

      Sallie B Middlebrook PhD 4 years ago from Texas, USA

      Hi DeBorrah K. Ogans. Thank you so much for visiting, reading, and commenting. I am most appreciative! I was trying my best to do exactly what you've told me I accomplished. I was sure there were other single Christians, like me, who might need a spiritual "high five," of sorts. The world can seem so difficult and hard, but if we embrace our faith, we're never really alone.

      I'm thrilled that you'd like to share this on your FB page, and I'd be honored if you would share a link to the article. Hub Pages editors tell us to only share links so that our content does not appear to have been copied. Great to hear from you, and thanks for the blessings. I can never get too many of those! I'm going to be reading some of your Hubs soon!

    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

      DeBorrah K Ogans 4 years ago

      drmiddlebrook, Wonderful hub! There is some insightful spiritual wisdom here from a single persons perspective that I would like to share on my Facebook page! Let me know if it is okay!

      Thank You for sharing, Peace & Blessings!

    • drmiddlebrook profile image
      Author

      Sallie B Middlebrook PhD 4 years ago from Texas, USA

      Thanks for the visit and the read, Jackie. You're right, of course. Most people, however, seem to desire lifelong companionship, but still it doesn't work out that way for everyone. It's hard being single, and living a Christian life, in our culture--but it is possible, and it can be rewarding and fulfilling. I just wanted to reiterate and remind that single Christians are not relegated to living a lonely existence.

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 4 years ago from The Beautiful South

      I do think the bible says it is better to not marry and to serve God, but that if we have desires of the flesh it is better to marry than to burn.

      Great write. It is not an easy choice I am sure.