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Love Is Not Self Seeking

Updated on June 28, 2012

"Love is not self seeking, it’s not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong." 1 Corinthians 13:5


Have you ever had an argument with your spouse and brought up a series of wrong things that they did or said in the past? I think most of us have done this at one time or another. I remember asking this older Christian couple that I know if they ever argued and the wife's answer was "no, never". I'm sorry, but I can't imagine. It is all very nice and everything but it seems so unbelievable that a couple could be so agreeable with one another. My next question should have been, "Do you even live together"? We are all different and we all have different buttons to push. I noticed in my own marriage (which has had it's problems) that when we harbor resentment we tend to push these buttons on purpose. Maybe sometimes it is subconsciously and most times it is on purpose. So how do we become less self seeking and not easily angered? It is a simple answer that requires some hard work and commitment, studying the Word of God together and a healthy prayer life. Both of which are a on going process for my marriage and personal life. A good start is to pray that God will help you with your individual anger issues. It is also important to remember to try not to blame others.


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    • lifegate profile image

      William Kovacic 5 years ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      Sounds like some good, practical advise to me. Hope many will follow it and be healed.

    • Sky321 profile image

      Sky321 5 years ago from Canada

      Thanks for reading Tamarajo.

    • Sky321 profile image

      Sky321 5 years ago from Canada

      Thanks Jo, I write too when I am mad. I usually scribble all the things I don't like and then I rip it up.

    • Sky321 profile image

      Sky321 5 years ago from Canada

      Harmony is the ultimate goal. Thanks yoginijoy

    • Sky321 profile image

      Sky321 5 years ago from Canada

      I do the same thing. Great comment. Thanks

    • Tamarajo profile image

      Tamarajo 5 years ago

      True that having common spiritual goals really does ease the disagreements. Reading the Word and praying together is a great way to refocus daily on who we wish to please God or ourselves which can curb many arguments that are most generally self oriented.

      A blessed reminder.

    • Jo_Goldsmith11 profile image

      Jo_Goldsmith11 5 years ago

      I love this! My husband and I both laughed at your cartoon you shared. When I think he has done something that *rubs me the wrong way*, I will usually go off by myself and write. One of two things will happen. One, I will usually forget about what I thought he did to get on my nerves or I have time to stop and find loving words to express to him my feelings. He is buddhist, I consider myself spiritual. We don't read the bible together, even tho we need to. I have times when I need to! A great read and I shared and voted up! :)

    • yoginijoy profile image

      yoginijoy 5 years ago from Mid-Atlantic, USA

      A real relationship comes down to communication. I agree with Dave on that one. Yes, there are better ways to begin a conversation than starting a fight and you get better at it with age. Start from your heart and think to yourself about the goal, not the emotion. The goal is harmony with your partner, no? Then say something like, I don't want to fight with you. Let's look at this and see what we can figure out together. If you're both angry, wait until things cool off a bit before tackling the issue. And focus on the outcome: harmony.

    • Dave Mathews profile image

      Dave Mathews 5 years ago from NORTH YORK,ONTARIO,CANADA

      Sky: You should have asked that second question, or maybe commented on how great it is to be perfect all the time. We all argue.

      I have to confess that sometimes, when I sense that there is alot of tension, for whatever the reason or reasons, I will purposely start something. This helps to release the tensions and opens the lines of communication to get things out into the open. I will later apologize for doing this but it is a good way of getting tensions released and problems addressed.