- Religion and Philosophy
Marriage in Islam - Wife and husband relationship
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Once I came across a Muslim sister a teenager full of dreams and expectations saying all happily that when I get married I will get married to a hottest and the most perfect guy. It’s not just one Muslim sister who is like this there are many sisters and not only just Muslim sisters non Muslims girls too are raised this way. This is how they all grow up
Another scenario is of Muslim boys not one boy not one brother number of Muslim brothers not just late teenager even adult adolescents say that when they get married they want someone who is like a celebrity a movie star a super model if not all together at least almost like it.
These are the dreams of Muslim youth. It is with these expectation Muslim youth of today get into their marriages. Islam gives us the right to chose our life partner but the problem arises when we do not meet these expectation, marriage is a Union of Love, Affection, Respect and Sharing Between the Spouses if you marry for the right reasons you have a healthy relationship with your wife or husband, intention has to be to start a family and please Allah SWT.
Some Muslim families allow the boy and girl talk to each other let them have few conversations but at this point both of them are so blind and so interested in celebrations, the new dress, the party, the gift and all those greeting they get so much caught up in the hype even when they talk to each other its empty conversation they see what they want to see in their spouse they are unable to have intellectually sound conversation. They have hard time seeing any flaws in their spouse and this infatuation last little longer for weeks or for couple of months or a year and then it starts fading up and reality starts setting in, "how come you never told me this or that etc etc."
Then they have children and then they find themselves difficult to cope with the pressure of children alongwith with the pressure of the jobs. Then there are other responsibilities like pregnancy for the wife etc., etc., He or she might behave differently to what they were before not because they have changed but because they have new challenges coming in life and with new challenges a person reacts in a different way. When things start messing up they look for Islamic guidance which they have been ignoring all the time but even now they use it for their own benefit usually they take Islamic text as a weapon "You know what the Prophet (pbuh) said about the wife who don’t take care of husband at night he said this, this and this you should be ashamed of yourself".
Instead of worrying about their obligations towards their spouse the get more interested to know about their own rights. Many Muslim husbands and wives treat each other like adversaries rather than partners. The husband feels that he is the boss, and whatever he says is right. The wife feels that she must squeeze everything she can out of her husband. Some wives never show their husband that they are satisfied with anything he does or buys for them in order to trick him into doing and buying more. They make him feel like a failure if he does not give them the lifestyle that their friends and families enjoy. Some husbands speak very harshly to their wives, humiliate them, and even physically abuse them. Their wives have no voice or opinion in the family. Although many Muslims may right now be in failing marriages and on a fast track to divorce and face its terrible consequences, there are many ways to put their marriage back on the right track if the husband and wife are sincere in their desire to reconcile this relationship. May Allah make us the best husband and best wives