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Marriage in Islam - Wife and husband relationship

Updated on March 30, 2013
Marriage in Islam wife and husband relationship
Marriage in Islam wife and husband relationship

Once I came across a Muslim sister a teenager full of dreams and expectations saying all happily that when I get married I will get married to a hottest and the most perfect guy. It’s not just one Muslim sister who is like this there are many sisters and not only just Muslim sisters non Muslims girls too are raised this way. This is how they all grow up

Another scenario is of Muslim boys not one boy not one brother number of Muslim brothers not just late teenager even adult adolescents say that when they get married they want someone who is like a celebrity a movie star a super model if not all together at least almost like it.

These are the dreams of Muslim youth. It is with these expectation Muslim youth of today get into their marriages. Islam gives us the right to chose our life partner but the problem arises when we do not meet these expectation, marriage is a Union of Love, Affection, Respect and Sharing Between the Spouses if you marry for the right reasons you have a healthy relationship with your wife or husband, intention has to be to start a family and please Allah SWT.

Some Muslim families allow the boy and girl talk to each other let them have few conversations but at this point both of them are so blind and so interested in celebrations, the new dress, the party, the gift and all those greeting they get so much caught up in the hype even when they talk to each other its empty conversation they see what they want to see in their spouse they are unable to have intellectually sound conversation. They have hard time seeing any flaws in their spouse and this infatuation last little longer for weeks or for couple of months or a year and then it starts fading up and reality starts setting in, "how come you never told me this or that etc etc."

Then they have children and then they find themselves difficult to cope with the pressure of children alongwith with the pressure of the jobs. Then there are other responsibilities like pregnancy for the wife etc., etc., He or she might behave differently to what they were before not because they have changed but because they have new challenges coming in life and with new challenges a person reacts in a different way. When things start messing up they look for Islamic guidance which they have been ignoring all the time but even now they use it for their own benefit usually they take Islamic text as a weapon "You know what the Prophet (pbuh) said about the wife who don’t take care of husband at night he said this, this and this you should be ashamed of yourself".

Instead of worrying about their obligations towards their spouse the get more interested to know about their own rights. Many Muslim husbands and wives treat each other like adversaries rather than partners. The husband feels that he is the boss, and whatever he says is right. The wife feels that she must squeeze everything she can out of her husband. Some wives never show their husband that they are satisfied with anything he does or buys for them in order to trick him into doing and buying more. They make him feel like a failure if he does not give them the lifestyle that their friends and families enjoy. Some husbands speak very harshly to their wives, humiliate them, and even physically abuse them. Their wives have no voice or opinion in the family. Although many Muslims may right now be in failing marriages and on a fast track to divorce and face its terrible consequences, there are many ways to put their marriage back on the right track if the husband and wife are sincere in their desire to reconcile this relationship. May Allah make us the best husband and best wives

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  • profile image

    Sabah 

    5 years ago

    before getting engage, your family let you to talk to the guy. but it is not halal what dua need to read to be halal to him while you are talking to him by phone or by meeting him?

  • Zubair Ahmed profile image

    Zubair Ahmed 

    5 years ago

    ASA, a very informative hub so thank you for sharing and the nice video. I think these days my Muslims have the desire to be called Muslims and feel as though they are doing pious acts but in reality they are imitating those that do not profess to any religion and chase the duniya.

    If we practice islam in the way that it should be then we'd have less issues and more peace.

    My Allah bless you for bringing us this hub.

  • profile image

    HK 

    5 years ago

    OK. WHAT ABOUT WHEN YOU HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 17 YEARS AND MOST OF THE MARRIAGE WAS VERY HAPPY UNTIL ABOUT 3 YRS AGO. WE STARTED A BUSINESS, MY HUSBAND DAD HAD HEART FAILURE AND MT DAD WAS HAVING A TRIPLE BYPASS AND IT WAS SO STRESSFUL. I JUST BECAME CRAZY WITH WORRY AND FEAR THEN THE BUSINESS OPEN AND A YR AND HALF LATER SHUTS DOWN. WE TRY TO LOOK AT IT POSITIVELY AND LOOK TOWARDS THE FUTURE BUT THEN SOMETHING HAPPEN AND FOR 2 YRS WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH LOOSING THE HOME WE LIVED IN FOR 12 YRS. I GO MAD AND I AM NOT PROUD OF MY BEHAVIOR BUT I TREATED MY HUSBAND NOTSO GREAT. THATS NOT TO SAY THIS WAS ALL ME. THERE WAS NO COMMUNICATION. WE BOTH JUST SHUT DOWN. TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE, WE HAVE A YOUNG SON. NOW WE ARE "NOT IN LOVE" BUT I LOVE HIM. NO DOUBT. WE HAD A GREAT HAPPY MARRIAGE FOR A LONG TIME. I KNOW MY PART IN ITS DOWNFALL BUT MY HUSBAND IS CHECKED OUT AND IM JUST IN SHOCK. I THINK ITS WORTH SAVING A LONG TERM MARRIAGE THAT HAS HAD MORE GOOD THAN BAD. HE SEEMS TO HAVE FORGOTTEN ALL THE GOOD, ALL THE SACRIFICE, ALL THE LOVE THAT WENT INTO THIS RELATIONSHIP. I HAVE NOT ALWAYS BEEN THE BEST OF MUSLIMS. I AM PRAYING FOR GODS FORGIVENESS AND GUIDANCE AND DOING DUAA FOR MY FAMILY. I WANT US TO WORK IT OUT FOR US AND OUR SON. WHAT CAN I DO TO GET HIM TO CHECK BACK INTO THIS MARRIAGE? HOW DOES ONE JUST GIVE UP WITHOUT EVEN TRYING? UNFORTUNATELY, THE PROBLEM IS THAT WE HAVE BEEN BOTH CHECKED OUT REALITY FOR AWHILE THAT WHEN I WOKE UP AND SAW "THE LIGHT" , I GUESS I EXPECTED HIM TOO. I KNOW ITS NOT FAIR TO JUST EXPECT THAT. BUT WHAT DO I DO? I BELIEVE THAT GIVEN OUR HISTORY, IT IS WORTH SAVING.

  • James-wolve profile image

    Tijani Achamlal 

    5 years ago from Morocco

    Very true sister.Those kind of problems occur in any Muslim marriage nowadays.If we look at the matter so deeply we will find that they are not good followers of Islamic teachings.Why?because the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) narrated that his Lord said: “My love is guaranteed for two who love one another for My sake; My love is guaranteed for two who visit one another for My sake; My love is guaranteed for two who help one another (financially) for My sake; My love is guaranteed to two who uphold ties with one another for My sake.

    So,if they truly love each other for the sake of Allah.Their marriage will be successful and healthy.If a godly man marries a pious and righteous woman who fears Allah,

    - she will honour him,

    - she will be affectionate with him,

    - she will help him to get closer to Allah.

    And their love story will last forever. It will begin in this life and Insha'Allah will continue in the Hereafter.

    Thanks for sharing sister.

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