Be glad, people of Zion, rejoice in the LORD your God, for he has given you the autumn rains because he is faithful. He sends you abundant showers, both autumn and spring rains, as before. Joel 2:23 NIV
Let’s lay it out for 9-20-13, look at some hard facts:
- We’re 48 years old
- 401K not looking too good
- Got laid off from my would be explosive growth/wealth generating start up opportunity a month ago
- Bought a $1.00 Mega Millions ticket tonight. Exciting to just think about driving to Raleigh on Monday to claim $145 million.
C'mon, it ain't all bad. 25 years ago I was headed for an abrupt ending to life here on earth; woke up, to an appreciable degree, and have made quite a comeback; but at times it seems slow degradation is somewhat equivalent to checking out at high velocity. Perhaps the only difference: time to reflect on how badly I’ve blown it.
Wow, I sound like George Constanza. Kind of appropriate, as I look more and more like him with each passing year.
In this state, the concept of God providing autumn rains hardly comforts or excites me.
A dual existence of sorts. One second I’m feeling as described above; later on I can be found running around shouting about how God has huge plans and this project He has undertaken in me is about to blossom. I get up and tell my kids I’m ecstatic due to the fact that God has provided us with air today. I can breathe and run and punch my heavy bag. I have a beautiful wife and kids. God provides me with all I need. Couple of thorns in the side out of necessity (refer to Romans), but I feel strong nonetheless.
As I drove into work today, replaying for the nth time what I could have done differently, God’s message was clear: “I love you. Consider what I have done for you. Also, consider what I am capable of. Wasting time pondering the apparent uphill battle that lie ahead is just that: a waste of energy and time. Give it to me, open up your heart and mind. Trust me. Forget about what you can do, because you have already demonstrated that you are most adept at screwing up.
Sure problems are real, and, if you woke up 30 years ago you would have less of them. But you did not, because you chose not to. I was pulling at you before you were 20 years old, way before. You would not hear so I successively turned up the volume until you did. Okay so get up tomorrow, kiss your beautiful wife. Go in and cuddle with your youngest and hug the others. Go running and be happy you can. Come back and punch your heavy bag, pretend you are 25 again just because it is fun. Look ahead and prepare for the awesome and exciting things I have planned for you. Talk to me and study my word; see the world through eyes I have given you. Be happy that I loved you enough to lay down my life for you, and pry you loose from the world’s grip..”
They say it’s going to rain this weekend. Maybe while I’m out running. I’m going to thank God for that, even if I don’t win Mega Millions.