Remarkable Levitation Experiences in my Flying in the Air Diary
For those of you who have read my remarkable Hub: How to Levitate you will be familiar with my 'technique' or 'method' as to how to get one's body, or practically anything else, to rise up off the ground and become virtually gravity-free.
Here are some results I have experienced after following my own levitation advice.
My first levitation! True, it wasn't much of a levitation. My body lifted three feet off the bed and then slammed itself into the wall ten times before my head started twisting in a clockwise manner while my body twisted anti-clockwise and my legs did the splits and then detached themselves and walked down to the corner store and bought the Sunday New York Times.
Of course my body does this everyday after I've eaten lobster-bisk with taco-sauce. It may not be levitation but rather a case of supernatural heartburn.
Maybe tomorrow I will have something more interesting to report?
My body levitated itself over to the desk and my big toe stuck itself into the pencil sharpener. I needed a manicure anyway but now I have a toe-nail that I will have to register as a deadly weapon if I am to take it anywhere.
I then flew around the house a few times and my left hand unscrewed all the light-bulbs and replaced them with energy-efficient ones.
After that my nose pryed-open the fridge and I followed it (naturally) while it shoved itself into the mayonnaise and inhaled. I woke up an hour later on the floor with a bagel in my mouth trying to sing Tevia's song from Fiddler on the Roof.
I was lying on the grass at an outdoor concert-in-the-park and dozed off, while my body suddenly took it upon itself to levitate up on stage and stroll around, hands behind back, 'critiquing' the musicians, grabbing up instruments and playing them to show 'the right way' to play it, and generally making a nuisance of itself.
The bassoon-player became enraged at my uncouth behaviour and chased my astral-body out of the park and down the street to Starbucks where he forced it to buy everyone in the orchestra a large mocha with two cremes and four sugars. Having no money to pay, (astral bodies rarely carry wallets or credit cards) I ran out and left the bassoon-player holding the tab.
Eventually I found my way back to my body but not before the orchestra had played my favorite piece: 'Kitchen-Strainers make Bad Umbrellas' from the musical 'Sardines on the Town' written by Aaron Copeland in 1944 after he had consumed too many strudels.
My Astral Body Leaves Home
I suppose I wasn't paying it enough attention or something, but my Astral-body decided it wanted to seek greener pastures; especially those having real grass and not astro-turf.
It may return someday when it misses having an itch but no way to scratch it.
Until then I will just enjoy the sensation of being unable to enjoy soul-music,soul-food,soul-searching and visiting Seoul for a vacation. There are just some things you need a soul to do!
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