My Path of Life
Many religious debates come from a biased, opinionated outlook from both sides. Although I am not religious, and have never considered myself so, I cannot be but into that category. I was never raised up in a certain belief nor was I pushed to any type of religion by my family. Being raised by my mother, an agnostic, I had the freedom to believe in what I chose and was surrounded around people who did not agree with Christianity or any type of religion. My family members did not hate any belief system or culture, but they were mostly agnostic and did not follow any belief nor did they take any type of faith seriously or into open consideration. My grandmother was loosely Episcopalian and would attend church on Christmas Eve many years. Some did, however, say religion was for "weak minded people" and this effected my outlook on it as some type of fairy tale for people to believe in. I am grateful for this as I was not attached to any belief but disagreed with them.
As a young child I attended a private Catholic school for awhile and spent most of my time there debating the teachers and students on their "foolish" belief, as I saw it. I was always resentful to religion and maybe that was because of my environment, but I always debated people's beliefs and outlooks on spiritual things. I lived a basic life, believing that when you die you rot in the ground and preferred science. When people would witness to me about Jesus Christ, God, or any other higher being I would laugh them off and debate why they were wrong. This would all change, in due time.
When I was 18 years old I moved into my mother's basement with my friend Eric in the summer. We lived a "party life" of drinking and drugs, thinking we had it all; not a problem in the world. Throughout this time I met a lot of people through my friend and truly started having a "life" as people seem to call that a life. By the end of the summer my friend Eric was arrested and hung himself in jail, although their are suspicions that it was not, in fact, a suicide. All of his friends, who became a group of friends through him, separated. A couple months later we all got together at my basement and hung out in remembrance of him. This is where it all truly began.
Sitting around the room, we were watching television. Eric's favorite movie was Natural Born Killers, and we were searching for it. After unsuccessfully finding the show on guide I decided to exit out. Suddenly I got a feeling to open back up the guide, and to my surprise, there was Natural Born Killers; five minutes in, on the exact channel I was on (even though there was a different show on). Immediately we all exclaimed "It's Eric! It's Eric! No way!" Many might call this a coincidence, but i do not see how a movie is not on TV, someone exits out of the guide, goes back on and the show is five minutes in on the same channel you are already on can be called anything "normal."
Throughout the week abnormal things were happening left and right. My friends and I would be predicting things that following shortly would happen, having things happen so perfect, coming to crossroads where the way we decided to go ended up with something crazy happening, and many other peculiar events. This was just the warm up. After this we moved into our friend Evan's house and continued living in this new, strange "world" we found, leading into more discoveries and unfolding knowledge.
When living together we all started noticing odd things happen to each other and bumping into strange people. We came across "The Eye" which is known as the All Seeing Eye or the Eye of Lucifer. We were drawn to this symbol and saw it as a sign of knowledge or wisdom, and met a psychic who told us it was evil and to stay away, though we were too caught up in our discoveries. Shortly after what we found was to be dubbed "the game." To make a long story short, we started finding out how to use psychic powers and started pursuing various paths of Enlightenment and spirituality. People called us crazy, but we all knew we weren't.
During the summer after a year of living together is when everything started really happening. Our confusion started becoming unveiled and we started realizing that we truly did have these "powers" and would use them to our benefit, for our amusement, and eventually against each other. My friends and I started studying what we were doing and came to find the Third Eye and chakras, the spiritual aspect of enlightenment, energy, and psychic powers. Practicing paganism and witchcraft was what we were really doing, sometimes knowingly, sometimes not. We could control the wind, read each other's minds, change street lights, take and give one another highs, and even move objects with our minds. Although this seems crazy, we were and are not the only people in the world who believe in paranormal abilities, and certainly not the only people to use them. We would walk and skate around our town, proving this to people.
I remember one time we were all sitting on the side of the highway and met up with a kid named Mike who was friends with people who labeled us crazy. He was laughing off what we were talking about and my friend Hippy told me "Rick, show him." I went to sit on the side of the road, went into what is technically called "trance" and harnessed the wind. It was perfectly calm at the moment, and in front of Mike and my friends I made a huge gust of wind come up the highway and hit us all, metaphorically blowing the kid away. Another time we were proving our "skills" was to our friend John, when I was perfectly sober and "stole" my friend Hippy's high. John, unknowing of these things, was sitting between us when Hippy yelled "Rick, give me my trip back!" and I did. John eventually started believing us, especially when I moved a closet door in front of him and our then-new friend Erik. Many people continued to call us crazy or that we were tricking their minds from the drugs, but we had more sober witnesses to defend us, as well as performing these "tricks" completely sober to show them and ourselves it wasn't "just the drugs."
Sadly enough, these "powers" corrupted our friends and they began battling each other with them. They would steal thoughts from each other's minds, cause horrible things to happen to people, and literally fight spiritual warfare. The fun, happy-go-lucky "game" turned into the dreadful, spiritually violent and life tormenting "game." It soon enough turned into them against my friend Hippy and I. We stood up to them, and declared that what they were doing was wrong and fought against them. Being stronger (which I believe was because of goodness, love, and God) we fought them off in some areas but it is hard to control those things from not happening. They eventually started becoming full pagans and soon after satanists. Our "family" was divided and turned into a battleground of literally, good and evil.
Towards the end of the summer is when my belief exploded. Although I practiced these powers and things, I did not fully believe in what I was doing. I was confused about what was going on and at times believed my friends and I were special, and had discovered something nobody else had. One day in August I was hanging around my house, and noticed my neighbor's friend was sitting on the front step of the house. My neighbors had left on vacation and left him there. I went to work and when I came back he was at my house. My mom had brought him into the house because it was raining out and she was upset he was stuck outside. I will keep his name private, out of respect for him.
The kid seemed perfectly normal to me. I had normal discussions with him and was very vague about my life and these "powers" as to not make a guest in my home uncomfortable. The next night my friend Jordan and I were hanging out, and he was tagging along. We took a drug named DXM, which is found in cough medicine. It is a psychadelic and usually aids in these powers (many people will debate that these "realizations" and "powers" were from the drugs, and that we were crazy and our brains messed up, but if you research these are not beliefs of drug users but of normal people, from numerous different beliefs and religions, and DXM does not cause hallucinations, never has for me except spiritual visions which I had sober and high. My friends and I are not brain damaged or mentally unstable, saying so would be saying every spiritual, Buddhist, Hindu, Shaman, wizard/witch, pagan person is crazy and a drug addict.). At the time my trips were messed up, I did not have the "charm" you usually have during using this drug.
While I was struggling with my high, trying to get the "charm" my friend Jordan and this kid were talking. His friend Danielle was with us and I wasn't listening, until I heard Jordan say "Rick! This kid believes what we do!" I immediately turned around and began talking about it. I asked him about my "problem" and he got up, he said look into my eyes and as I stared deep into his eyes i felt a huge amount of energy be pushed into me and my "charm" and trip came back immediately (he would later do this to me again in time, but I was in Delaware and he was in New York). This began a night of realizations where he told us about what we believed in, and who he was. I demanded proof, and he showed me it. There was a man walking by with a dog, and he said "in ten seconds this man will stop, look to the right, look down at the ground, look back, and keep walking." He counted down and it happened, he told me to look up at the sky (and his view was blocked from seeing the area he was pointing me to due to houses) and said there would be three birds flying, with a fourth following. This all happened, as well as many other numerous signs he predicted.
This man continued to reveal things and truths to us and told us things about ourselves, all of which were true and matched up to explain our history and "powers." Jordan's friend Danielle was there, and was sober. She was our true proof of these things actually happening, as she was in a clear mind to back up the fact that it wasn't us being high. This man eventually left the same morning. His parents picked him up exactly when he said they would, and left us as seemingly transformed people. This is when I really started taking everything seriously and when our knowledge started building. Jordan and I started growing stronger, and eventually Jordan began to abuse his powers and soon would become one of the worst of them, even attacking me. Power is a great responsibility, which many people cannot handle.
We were all guilty of abusing our powers, and let them get to our head. Thinking we were alone, the only ones with these powers, we fell. We came to find people who were like us, some good, some bad, but mostly bad. After awhile I went to jail due to my reckless life and really reflected on who i was, my life, and this new-found "enlightenment." I started to realize the existence and importance of karma and began to study Buddhism and general enlightenment/spirituality. This made me a better person, and I became aware of karma, but I still ignored God even though when you practice these things it is very hard to not be aware of That Power in the "air." When I got out of jail "the game" was still going on and I started hanging out with my friend Evan. Although I knew he was bad, and at that time he was confessing that he was Jesus, we grew close. The pure evilness of "the game" started unveiling and more people in the area started getting involved in this "realm."
During this time I broke my leg and understood this was my karma of my past actions, although nobody around me cared for karma or the consequences of their actions. I continued getting into magic, meditation, kundalini, and glorified paganism. The spiritual warfare between our group of friends was still going strong and it resulted in a lot of pain and suffering on both ends. Life became a constant war zone and every step was a risk. I still remained the strongest of my friends(along with Hippy) and when I look back it truly was because of the love in my heart. and could fight them off while Hippy was in jail. Removing myself from the group I had so long been around, I found a new friend Nick. Nick understood these things, but he too became corrupt with the powers. Nick had the power of changing reality, he could create optical illusions in other peoples minds and could literally create physical objects to appear. I had the power to take peoples powers and use them, and one night (the last night we hung out) I shut it down, made him lose his job, and he moved to another state to eventually (and still to this day) get stuck in spiritual and physical warfare. After that I removed myself completely from everybody except my girlfriend and started sending people (manifestation, ex. the Law of Attraction) to jail which some are still in.
Continuing my walk in spirituality I eventually became and considered myself a Shaman, being dubbed the Happy Shaman, which you can find my previous blog on here declaring my spiritual "truths." My girlfriend was Christian, and having recently beat Hodgkins Lymphoma she was very close to God, and although she listened to my beliefs she would not let go of her faith. By then I recognized God's existence, but not the Christian God. I saw the All Seeing Eye as the Eye of God and was into books such as "The Breathe of God" which speaks about a false manuscript saying Jesus Christ practiced Buddhist, Hindu, and spiritual beliefs of enlightenment and that was His Power. I believe Jesus Christ was just another Buddha and spoke of enlightenment as well. I was a Universalist basically, but mainly attached myself to psychic powers, and opening up my chakras for enlightenment. I was still resentful to God and would dismiss and speak against Christianity.
This is when God started pulling me in. I began to have people witnessing to me about Jesus Christ. At my work, Ruby Tuesdays, a friend Morgan and I were discussing the Astral World (spirit world) and travelling to it. The discussion started by talking about Freemasons and that realm. He confessed to me (previously being a wizard and coming from a family of witches, with them and him having plenty of experience in magic and the Astral World) that Jesus Christ is the answer and the True Way. I declared he was wrong, and brushed him off. After that I shortly met a man named Kevin, who explained in great detail what I was practicing and confessed the Truth of Jesus Christ to me. He told me i was wrong, and that there was no heaven for me walking down the path I was. He, too, was brushed off by me.
My life started changing and strange things were occurring around me. I started heavily pondering these changes and God. Looking around my life I saw the presence of some higher power; some type of protection and guidance throughout all my life, even though I wasn't necessarily with that power. It all seemed as if I was walking a path that had a destination, as if I was being lead through tribulations and revelations to some ultimate goal. I started looking at my girlfriend and her Christian family, and it dawned on me that throughout all my spiritual warfare she was always protected. Bad things never seemed to happened to her and I realized that the whole time I knew she was shielded by some force greater than me. As I dealt with spirits, demons, and people attacking me she never did. Her grace and love poured out onto my life and it was like God was closing in on me in my life.
When I was speaking to the man Kevin, who is full of the Holy Spirit and knowledge, he told me he would have his bible study pray for me. At the time i brushed it off as nothing, but the immense power around me was driving me insane. I had to know the truth, regardless If I agreed with it or not, as it had always been other than my childhood. There were so many people witnessing to me about God, so many signs, so many people praying for my salvation. About a week after speaking to Kevin I was sitting out back of work smoking a cigarette. It was cloudy out, the sky was dark and completely grey. My mind was a mess and it just hit me: I gave up. I spoke to God. I told God and Jesus I didn't know, and I said "Jesus, I give you my faith." Right as I spoke these words, the clouds parted. The sky broke out, and as the clouds split in opposite directions light shined from the sky onto me. It all hit me and I couldn't help but laugh, holding back tears as I walked back into work.
It was the proof I demanded. I would not give my faith, as I wouldn't with spirituality even though I was practicing the very things I denied to fully believe in. Just as symbolic as my life, the veil was lifted, the clouds parted, and Jesus' Light shined on my face and He came into my heart, soul, and life. This began the next step in my life. Although I still practiced spirituality, the enlightenment part, I soon gave it all up and came to Him. I was led to two homeless people whom both believed in Jesus and that truly changed my life, giving up all spirituality and submitting myself to His Will and picking up the bible, His Holy Word. Ending in tears, revelation, and salvation I accepted Jesus Christ as the true and only Son of God and as our Bridge to God, Yahweh the Father in Heaven. My life has never been the same.
My friend at Ruby Tuesdays, Morgan, told me one night that I would have an amazing testimony. I doubted him, but without pride I believe that he was right. I believe my purpose on this earth is to share the Truth of Jesus Christ (Yahshua) and His Father God Almighty (Yahweh/ YHWH). I have come through many paths, and walked in the wilderness. I have walked in darkness, and know the darkness. I have found my Lamp and Light (Psalm 119:105) and can see my path. "Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it." Matthew 7:14 KJV.
I am here to show people the path, to explain the darkness from a perspective of someone who knows it, and has walked it. I went from hating God, to being with Him. I am not here to give a biased report, but to declare the Truth from experience of all other truths. I will speak what most don't speak, and explain what most don't explain. God has blessed me with my path, and has led me through the things that I've been through so that I may give people a true account and outlook on things. I am young, but 2 Timothy 4:12 states to not look down on those because of their youth. I have experienced great things, and have walked a long path to where I am. I come to confess the Truth and the Gospel, and correct what is incorrect. It is not I who has this knowledge, but my Father in heaven Who has bestowed it upon me and I am here to simply share what I have learned.
I pray, and ask for all fellow brothers and sisters in Christ to pray that this blog reaches out to all souls of all backgrounds. I pray that I help people understand what they may not otherwise have witnessed unto them. I cannot make you know God, but I can help you as others helped me. I pray that God bestows grace, mercy, love, and wisdom upon all souls, in Jesus' Holy Name, Amen.
Welcome to, the Upper Room.
With love and God bless,