My Spirituality is Not in Question
Sometimes you just have to go and do. Go where-ever your heart takes you and do whatever the spirit moves you to do; unless your spirit moves you to do something illegal, immoral or socially unacceptable. Just saying...balance.
I think I am a homebody until I leave home and go outside my four walls. Then I know I am a person who thoroughly enjoys people. I am a conflict within myself.
Some days I blame this on the Fibromyalgia; on days that I feel yuk. When I feel good and really up, I blame it on Fibromyalgia. Finally it has let me have a day off.
What’s a Fibromite to do? What to do!
Tomorrow is a milestone for me. I am terribly excited and anxious at the same time. Tomorrow I go back into the world on a routine basis. I am able to rejoin the YMCA warm water gang. In order for it to do me any good, I must be consistent and go often.
I have been known to be a procrastinator, (yes, I really have. I tell the truth.) but this time I am determined not to be. I know what I look in a bathing suit, so no vanity there. I love the huge beach towels I wear just before I plunge into the water. I drop it poolside and quietly immerse myself.
I don’t even know which suit will fit, but I am sure one of the five I have purchased in the past year will do. Eventually, my goal is to purchase a smaller one and have it fit. It won’t happen unless I am diligent.
I guess for Lent I could give up my pride and my tiredness and make this thing happen. Although I think that it would be a crock. I am not doing this for Jesus. I am doing it for myself. I need it. Yes, it is my body, and that body is supposed to be His temple. So taking care of it would be a perfect way to celebrate his sacrifice for me, right?
Nah, I don’t think so. I think that giving up something I really enjoy on a daily basis would be a much better thing to remind me of the sacrifice of The Great One.
So, I’m off to the pool, feeling quite self-conscious and ready to step on that long road back to physical well being.
Have you ever simply known what to do and found reason after reason to not do it, not really knowing why? Well, that is where I think I am coming from. (I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching lately).
See, it’s like this; I started going to church, and I really like the people. However, the more I am there, I am not so sure I agree with their ideas of Christianity. More and more I feel that I need to keep my opinions to myself. In the beginning I thought they were just like me and believed the same way. Now, I’m not sure. Certainly they are a friendly group and not terribly critical of others. Still, I am uncomfortable. I think this requires more research.
My friend and I were talking about this very thing when she said something astounding to me.
“You are not sure about your religion.” She said, “Your spirituality is not in question.”
I had never realized that the two were separate. Indeed they are.
The more I thought about it, the more I felt better about myself.
There is nothing wrong with questioning one’s religion as long as one knows their core beliefs are solid. The core beliefs are what make each of us who we are.
"My Spirituality is not in question." I just loved that she said that to me. It meant so much more than she could ever imagine. And she does not flatter or mince words. She says it like she sees it.
I can honestly say that today I am quite confident in my faith, my God and my stand in life. I know how to treat others and for the most part I do it right. Now and again I mess up. That’s to be expected as long as I am human.
Do you ever question your own Spirituality? It is different from the church you attend. It is your conscience, your heart and your actions.
I hope this makes sense to every one.
Questioning is a good thing; Thessalonians 5:21 “Prove all things. Hold fast that which is good.”