Questions of Approval
I am in the process of reading Wayne Dyer's book, " Your Erroneous Zones" and chapter III deals with external approval. I am realizing how much as a society we rely on external approval for our self worth. Wayne argues that from our early socialization, we seek the approval of our parents and those closest to us. We learned to adjust our natural ways of being to what our mummy and daddy tell us. This socialization is further enforced by institutions in the larger society, such as schools and church. We adapt to the expectations of our teachers, spiritual leaders and elders. Is it any wonder that we continue to seek external approval to the detriment of our self-worth. Now I believe that there is value in learning acceptable norms and behaviours, to coexist in a civilized and socially inter-related world, but how do we balance that to thinking for ourselves?.
Here are some questions about external and approval and the connection with self worth;
Why do I think of myself on your terms?
Why do I allow you to determine my feelings
About myself; my actions and my confidence?
Why do I care about what you think of me?
Am I conditioned to seek your approval?
Do your thought of me change who I am?
Is my life any better or worse because of my thoughts of your thoughts?
Can your approval/disapproval enhance my being ME?
Why does your "satisfactory" or "dis-satisfactory" rating of
My performance appraisal determine my self worth?
Why do I even care about what you think?
Am I not more than you can ever conceive?
Am I not perfect in my imperfection?