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Real Love-God's Way

Updated on July 2, 2017

Fist Of Fury or Palm Of Love?

Eros and Agape Love

Our world and the social environment in which we live are in a state of turmoil and unrest. Many of us wonder what happened to values and stability. The greatest ability of the human spirit is that to love regardless of economics, race or status. People value love and recognize that love will shape what is good and true. It should not be surprising to anybody that love permeates and is at the heart of our Biblical message.

Our English word love is used so broadly, that it is helpful to know different types of love in order to gain a better understanding of the New Testament's message. The New Testament was written in Greek and there are various Greek words for love.


Unlike Eros, Agape is not limited by environment and someone's perception. Agape is based upon the commitment of a decision. It is the decision to proactively seek someone's well-being. It is not a knee jerk reaction, nor just a response to how we have been treated. Agape is capable of living where there are no warm fuzzy feelings. Jesus said that we should agape, or love, our enemies. It is the very nature of Christian unselfish commitment to another's well-being regardless of how they feel about us. Luke 6:35

God IS love and is the example that we must follow to know and learn how to show and receive true (agape) love. He sent His beloved son to redeem us even though He knew we would reject Him and kill Him in a horrible manner. John 3:16

Agape love is what real passion and friendship is all about. This is when we choose to treat others in a Christ like manner and overcome the human inclinations to resort to hurtful actions. We respond instead of reacting to others. It is called the true nature of real love. This is how the world will know us, because of our difference. John 13:35


Eros is what most people mean when they say, "I'm in love." This type of love covers everything from butterflies in the belly and the “warm fuzzies” to physical passion.

There are a couple of very interesting characteristics about Eros. First, Eros is dependent upon ideal situations and circumstances. As long as a couple is enjoying a romantic situation, Eros can thrive. But, when hurtful words or actions appear, Eros simply evaporates.

Second, Eros is also dependent to each person's perception. If I perceive a dinner with candles to be romantic, Eros will thrive. However, that feeling is squashed if my dinner partner is not enjoying himself and only wants to get home to the Super Bowl. He sees the current situation to be undesirable. Eros love is strong or weak therefore based on perception.

Eros cannot provide a stable basis for building a deep and meaningful relationship. It is like the parable of the house built on sand and is easily washed away. Because the other person chooses to love us or not, we cannot accept this idea of “Falling in love” as committed love. Eros or physical attraction, is exhilarating, but is not the Biblical word used for love.

Love’s Requirement

Should we because of this love quest, allow ourselves to be abused? Certainly not! How should we respond to an abusive person? God’s own Word, The Holy Bible, is our manual of resource information to know what we must do in these situations.

Jesus said that our primary commandment is to love God above all else and then to love others as we love ourselves. Matthew 22: 27-38

To allow mistreatment to continue involves failing to respond with love. When we truly love another person, we desire healing and peace for them. An abusive person has none of these.

We must never strike back although that is the typical human response. God has said He will seek vengeance on behalf of His people. Our agape love will strengthen us to pray for the abuser so that he/she is convicted in the spirit and learns God’s plan for his/her life. Eternal life and whether it will be with Christ or in Hell is at stake for this abuser. Judgment will come and God cannot be a part of sin. Our failure to seek an abuser’s well being and redemption is passively accepting their damnation.

In these situations, loving effectively requires wisdom. Knowing how to help an abusive person can be challenging. An abuser must accept that God holds each of us personally responsible and abhors this type of behavior.

Seek God’s instruction and empowerment to know how to face the abuser. It is almost impossible to kneel and pray for a person who has just bruised us physically or emotionally. When the timing is right, we might ask the abuser to seek counseling or to open up to a minister and ask for help. Most people who hurt us do so out of a warped love for us. Because of that love, an abuser will sometimes humble himself to get help and overcome this broken behavior. Sometimes physical and even legal action is required. Tough love can bring about transformation and acknowledgment of an unacceptable behavior.

To continue this depth of love is extremely difficult when the other person continues to treat us badly. If you feel you do not have the ability to do this, think of a mother’s love. Some of us are mistreated even by our children who do not obey the fifth commandment. But we continue to love them more than ourselves. As mothers, we can better understand 1 Corinthians 13:4, love is patient.

We might have to leave a loved one who treats us badly. Even so, we can do it the right way in love and God’s grace. Because God is love, we are love and are required to behave as such always. If you feel you cannot so this, seek Him. He loves you the way you seek to be loved.

If you find yourself in a real life situation where you are being hurt or threatened, you are urged to immediately contact a person who can help you; police, hotline, 911 or a counselor.


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  • profile image

    mary 4 years ago


  • Hyphenbird profile image

    Brenda Barnes 4 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    Thank you dear lyricwriter. This article was put on my heart and in my mind by the Holy Spirit Himself. I pray it helps even one person know the truth about love. Thank you for your encouraging words and visit.

  • thelyricwriter profile image

    Richard Ricky Hale 4 years ago from West Virginia

    Hyp, voted up, awesome, and beautiful. This was very beautiful and so true. Love can define us, who we are, who we wish to be, ect. It is inspirational, the many wonders of God. Touching and motivational Hyp:)

  • Hyphenbird profile image

    Brenda Barnes 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    Hello Nikki Major. Thank you very much. Please feel free to share it with anyone that may need or enjoy it. I appreciate the visit.

  • Nikki Major profile image

    Nikki Major 5 years ago

    I agree with everything said in this hub. what a beautiful article. I could not have said it better. God Bless.

  • Hyphenbird profile image

    Brenda Barnes 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    Thank you Eiddwen. This message was on my heart and I HAD to share it. Without my faith in God, I truly would not be here today. Only through Him can I go on every day. Bless you dear friend.

  • Eiddwen profile image

    Eiddwen 5 years ago from Wales

    Oh Brenda thank you so very much for sharing your loving heart and faith.

    My strong faith has carried me onwards and upwards many a time.

    Thank you my very dear friend.


  • The Stages Of ME profile image

    The Stages Of ME 5 years ago

    I love the way you have broken down Love and it's meanings and understanding. So many seem to be building their houses on sand rather that on the foundation of Gods Love and promises. When we stay in the word together and re-direct to the meanings in the bible we better understand Agape love. To love God together as a couple and a family is one way to have a chance to have a home built on a rock. Things may come against it but it will stand.

  • Hyphenbird profile image

    Brenda Barnes 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    Thomas, oh thank you. This has always been one of my favorite pieces. I really believe the Holy Spirit used me to write it. I appreciate the follow also. I shall get by your place to investigate your own writings soon. Thank you and bless you.

  • profile image

    ThomasRydder 5 years ago

    Good morning, Hyphenbird...simply stunning article. And absolutely spot on (although you didn't need me to tell you that) I found your stand on prayer and affirmative action for abusers to be particularly provocative. And also very true! Splendid writing and voted up as such...and now that I've seen your menu of articles, you just got your newest follower :)TR

  • Hyphenbird profile image

    Brenda Barnes 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    Hello sofs. I love that one also. This was one if not the first Hub I ever published. It might need an update but I am pleased you like the message. I appreciate your time and visit.

  • sofs profile image

    sofs 5 years ago

    ICor 13 has been my favorite..this chapter has changed my life and reaction to people. Thought provoking hub.. I am going back to my Bible to get my dose of love :) Thank you :)

  • Hyphenbird profile image

    Brenda Barnes 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    Hello Shobis. Thanks for your visit to this important article. I agree with you. Love must be the force that drives every action. Only then can we really know God, because He is love. I hope you come again. It is so nice to meet you here on HubPages.

  • shobis profile image

    shobis 5 years ago from Pakistan

    This is really needed in Todays World as all religons instruct mankind to love GOD and his creation .

    But i sometimes feel that sentiments that are drived through love will sometime refrain us to act justly !

  • Hyphenbird profile image

    Brenda Barnes 6 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    feenix, I do not mind at all. I believe Holy Spirit gives me the words for certain writings and they are intended to help people. I hope this helps you to settle that internal struggle. We all have those you know.

  • feenix profile image

    feenix 6 years ago


    I hope you do not mind but I am printing out this hub.

    I am doing that because I must read its words over-and-over again.

    As you are aware, I am struggling with handling conflicts and so forth in the ways in which God intends me to handle them.

  • Hyphenbird profile image

    Brenda Barnes 6 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    Yes, especially God's kind of love. Thanks for visiting Hattie.

  • HattieMattieMae profile image

    HattieMattieMae 6 years ago from Limburg, Netherlands

    So very true! Love is a good thing! :)

  • Hyphenbird profile image

    Brenda Barnes 6 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    Hello Winsome. Thanks for the kind comments. Since I have been growing closer to Christ my entire life has transformed. I have peace, love, forgiveness and incredible blessings. I want that for everyone else also. You can learn, do and have. Just keep growing the fruits of the Spirit and all else will come. Joy in Jesus.

  • Winsome profile image

    Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas

    Hi 'Bird, I am enjoying your writing. When I encounter the love of God it always transforms. I hope I can learn how to do that more. =:)

  • Hyphenbird profile image

    Brenda Barnes 6 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    Sunnie, it is my honor to share the love and plan of our wonderful Father. He desires His girls to be cherished and treated right. I am so thrilled you were blessed by it.

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    Sunnie Day 6 years ago

    Dear Hyphenbird..simply beautiful. Thank you for showing us God's wonderful grace and his plan for each of us to strive to be more like him.


  • Hyphenbird profile image

    Brenda Barnes 6 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    Thank you RTalloni. I appreciate that. This is one of my favorite pieces and so needed in today's world where the concept of real love is sometimes lost.

  • RTalloni profile image

    RTalloni 6 years ago from the short journey

    Good stuff. Balanced.

  • Hyphenbird profile image

    Brenda Barnes 6 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    We all need real love and so few of us know what that means. Thanks for reading and commenting.

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    Beth McElwee 6 years ago

    Dr. Wayne Dyer Look out !!! Very interesting, and so true..Love and peace for everybody is so needed.

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