Reincarnation "Flash Backs"
I have often been fascinated with reincarnation since I was a very young child. I have always felt "out of place" or not belonging specifically where I lived.
Some people looked familiar to me, while others that were supposed to be, did not.
Constantly plagued by vivid dreams and nightmares that to this day haunt me, I wrote most of them down to try and make sense but it only confuses me more.
I had a terrible fear of the water as far back as I can remember. My parents took me to learn to swim and the instructor actually asked them if I had ever had a traumatic experience because I acted as though there had been. I remember the panic of being in that pool.
Another fear I had as a young child were opening soda cans. I was terrified of that little metal tab and the popping sound it made. The fear of it exploding in my hands was real to me. My parents could not get me to open a can and as an adult, that fear transformed into opening those Pillsbury cans. Those cans filled with pressure upon opening them terrifies me. Silly to talk about it now but it's true.
Then there are the paintings, the pictures I draw. Ever since I was about 10, I would draw people I'd see in dreams that looked familiar to me. They are my "Spirit Drawings" and I still make them.
If this is not genetic, then there has to be some truth to it because my daughter is the same way. She was 4 years old and I had written a post about her ghost experience (see post link below), once told me as we were crossing the street (she was 4 at the time), "Mommy, do you remember when we crossed the street once and I was hit by a car that wasn't a car and I died?"
I asked her what the car looked like and she said, "It had giant wheels like wood."
Since this was around the same time she had seen and spoken to the ghost in the house, I was careful what to say to her; "What else do you remember?"
I will never forget what she told me next; "You were not my mommy. You were my big brother."
I asked her what she was wearing so I can get an idea of the era and she said she had an old dress like Little House on the Prairie. She told me the streets were not black, they were dirt. The way she spoke was very matter of fact but the scary part came later that night.
When we got home, I questioned her more. As we spoke, she frowned and looked at my necklace, which was a Virgin Mary charm on a chain I had gotten for my communion in Spain when I was 10. I had never taken it off. She touched it and told me, "Mommy, can you please take that off?"
I asked her why and she rolled her eyes as if she was aggravated and said, "Because you die with it, remember? Don't you remember?"
She started getting upset so I took it off and she smiled at me. She later told me that we were in a house and a bad man dressed in black with blonde hair came in through the window, and I had told her and her brother to hide in the closet. He then stabbed me and evidently killed me, while I was wearing the necklace, which he ripped off me, then jumped out the window again.
That was why she wanted me to remove that necklace. She thought if I had it on, this would happen. But I was confused because she had said I was her brother.
This is how she explained it to me; "Mommy! You always forget and I always tell you! I was your sister and you were my brother! Then you were my mommy!"
She was so upset at my confusion because to her, this was very clear. I asked her then we changed who we are? And she laughed and said, "All the time."
As time went on, she started letting go of these "visions" and came into her own adult life without recollection of these things. Even now I ask her and she tells me she vaguely remembers the conversations but still doesn't forget the ghost experience in that house.
With all this at my finger tips, HOW does one go about finding out WHO they were or WHERE they were from? Where do you start?
I will be researching this topic further and digging deeper because I feel like I really need to know. I have always felt as if something was never closed for me, as if I am continually searching for something or someone and it is so close yet I can't touch it.
Regardless whether you believe this or not, it is a truth in my life and for me, makes me a believer. We are matter and energy and energy never dies. It makes perfect sense to me that we travel or move around from one place to another, or from one plane to another and since matter morphs, we can't remain the same person while we travel. We must take on different bodies or entities to continue the journey.
More on this topic soon.
The pencil drawing is a dream I had some years ago.
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