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6. Lust of the Flesh

Updated on March 1, 2013

Lust of the Flesh

Lust of the Flesh is the continuation in a series of hubs in which I discuss my life of rebellion, dabbling in the Occult, drugs, crime and prison to life-changing conversion through Jesus Christ. Click here to read it from the beginning. In this hub, I discuss a relationship I had with a girl that started when I was only 16 years old. This was my first real relationship. We started having sex and she became pregnant. To find out what happened next and the lessons I learned from this, continue reading.

Way too Young

My first serious relationship was at the age of 16. Now, there had been times before that when I kissed girls or held hands with them, and things like that; but this was different. Sex was involved. In hindsight, I was way too young to get involved in such a relationship. I really wish I would have waited. I was not ready. It was a mistake.

The name of the girl was Amanda. I was introduced to her by my weed smoking buddy, Lance. At that point in my life, I thought that having a relationship meant being with someone that I could have sex with on a regular basis. That seemed to be the general consensus between my friends, at least; and so that is what I learned. It wasn't long before I talked Amanda into having sex with me (I think it took about three weeks). Then, after a short time, she became pregnant.

Young Father

I was facing the prospect of becoming a young father. My friend, Lance, had become a father as well. Him and his girlfriend were 15 years old when she had his baby. However, it was agreed between my and Amanda's parents that we were too young to have a child. Amanda didn't agree with our parents' decision, though. She knew the ramifications of it. She knew that it meant that she would have to get an abortion.

Personally, I didn't want to have a baby. I just wanted to have sex. In my immaturity, I wasn't ready to take on the responsibility of fatherhood. That was the farthest thing from my mind.

Guttmacher Abortion Statistics

Fault Lines: The Abortion War

Conception is Life

Amanda was affected by the decision of her abortion the most. She argued against it and became emotionally distraught. She cried a lot. She was losing a part of herself—her baby. For me, having an abortion was like throwing out the trash. I am sorry if I sound so callous; but that is what society had taught me. If you didn't want to have a baby, you just went to the clinic and had it aborted. They made it seem like there was nothing wrong it. As a matter of fact, people have abortions all of the time. The Guttmacher Institute reports that one in three women have abortions in the Unites States every year; and Fault Lines reported that over 3,500 abortions take place every day. It's so common that most people become indifferent to the fact that they are killing an unborn babies.

I didn't have the Bible to guide me in my life at that time; so I wasn't aware of the fact that conception is life. God said of the prophet Jeremiah, in Jer. 1:5 (NIV), "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." In other words, God recognized Jeremiah as a person even before he was born, and before he started developing in the womb, at the point of conception. Moreover, scientific evidence exists in support of this stance as well. The Medical University of South Carolina, 2005, states, "The embryo is a new human life which is genetically distinct and which has energy and a direction of its own from the moment of conception."

I also want to mention, there is another option besides abortion if someone is not capable of supporting their baby. That option is adoption.

Breaking Up

Before Amanda told me that she was pregnant, I was already looking for a way out of our relationship. I was getting tired of her nagging me. Telling me to stop getting drunk and smoking weed with my friends. I wasn't trying to hear that. That was fun! At least, I thought it was fun at the time. When she told me she was pregnant, I thought, "What bad timing! I can't break up with her now!" When it was decided that she would get an abortion, I was relieved. I told myself that I would wait until after her abortion to break up with her.

I know that what I am saying may sound selfish, but that is because I had selfish motives. The world raised me, and that is what I learned from it. Not to mention, I had started to hear rumors that Amanda cheated on me before becoming pregnant, and I began to entertain the possibility that her baby was not mine. Needless to say, we did end up breaking up; and it was a very turbulent break up. We were not on friendly terms for many years after that. Not until after I decided to make contact with her after I became a Christian, and I apologised to her for pressuring her into having an abortion.

I started having sex at much too young of an age: 16. When my girlfriend became pregnant, I wasn't ready to become a father; so I pressured her into having an abortion. We had a turbulent break up and ended up not being on friendly terms for many years. If I would have known the biblical concept that conception is life, I wouldn't have convinced her into going through with her abortion. I may have suggested adoption, instead. Moreover, if the Bible would have been my guide, I may have never gotten into this mess in the first place.

Take the Abortion Poll

Do you believe conception is life? Give your reasoning as to why or why not in the comment box below.

See results

You would think that I would have learned my lesson from my relationship with Amanda and stayed away from women for a long time; but then you would be giving me too much credit. Oh no, my friend. I ended up getting involved in a few more relationships after that, which never worked out. I'm my next hub, I'm going to discuss some dangers of having sex before marriage, including getting an STD and weakening the sancitty of marriage. Click on the link below to read it.

7. Sex Before Marriage and STDs


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    • someonewhoknows profile image


      6 years ago from south and west of canada,north of ohio

      This hub reminds me of the parables .

      One in particular where Jesus speaks about good fruit coming from trees which bear fruit and those that do not being pulled up and thrown into the fire.

      Also, the likely hood of good fruit coming from a weak tree.

      In fact there is a story that says the reason trees produce fruit is to prevent being destroyed for firewood.Sounds like a plan to me!

      We humans are supposed to be doing Gods work here on earth as well as in heaven some day.Heaven being somewhere other than earth I would think as the population continues to grow.

    • X-Con profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from The Free World!

      Rayne123 - I don't quite agree with you about never making mistakes. If we never make mistakes, then why do we call them mistakes? However, I believe that learning from our mistakes so that we don't repeat them in the future is what's important. Thanks again, for commenting!

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      I like your hubs, you express the truth and saying the truth may help us to overcome our fears.

      Its nice to hear that you are being honest. That alone is an inspiration.

      Now for the mistake you say you made and wish at the time you read the bible.

      We never make mistakes, they are only a stepping stone to our destination that God has in mind for us. This is how we learn and grow and get to the life God wants for us.

      "we are mere creations of God's plan hanging in his battlefield preparing for our journey".

      We can make plans however God directs our steps.

      So we are exactly where we are suppose to be.

    • X-Con profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from The Free World!

      shampa sadhya - Well Said; and thank you for commenting!

    • shampa sadhya profile image

      Shampa Sadhya 

      6 years ago from NEW DELHI, INDIA

      Voted up and beautiful!

      Though the incident was not beautiful but your honest disclosure made me feel the inner beauty of your heart. May God give you strength to take right decisions in your life. The reality is we all commit some or the other mistake but the beauty lies in our ability to evaluate our deed honestly.

    • X-Con profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from The Free World!

      faythef - Thank you! Did the same for your strawberry bread hub. That looked delicious!

    • faythef profile image

      Faythe Payne 

      6 years ago from USA

      voted up

    • X-Con profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from The Free World!

      Kasman - Thanks for the encouragment, brother. God bless you!

    • Kasman profile image


      6 years ago from Bartlett, Tennessee

      Hey x, I love the story. I know what it means to have tragedy and brokenness haunt your past, but thanks be to Christ Jesus, we don't have to live there. Isaiah 43:18-19 my brother. Keep using your gifts to touch the lives of many. You are to be a warrior and a life giver to people who need to hear. God bless ya man. Voting up!

    • X-Con profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from The Free World!

      teaches12345 - Thank you!

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 

      6 years ago

      We have all made mistakes, especially when younger, and live to look back and wonder why we made those choices. I admire your sharing from personal experience and how you point others to God as the answer. Voted interesting, beautiful and useful. Blessings!

    • X-Con profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from The Free World!

      Gypsy Rose Lee - Thank you for your wise insights.

    • X-Con profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from The Free World!

      The Stages of Me - Thank you for your comment and encouragement in Christ. God bless you.

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 

      6 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      When we are young we always think we know better but it would have been so much better to have had the support of both sets of parents and perhaps having more parental support might have made things a bit better too. And yes, conception is the point at which life begins but there are lots of young people who don't agree with that. However we cannot change things and we need to go on with life and hopefully learn from our mistakes.

    • The Stages Of ME profile image

      Kathy Henderson 

      6 years ago from Pa

      Hello ~ I have read some of your hubs this morning and you do share quite openly your experiences. I am so pleased you have been able to come to a life changed by those experiences and that you are being used now to share and help others in a recognition of Christ in your life. I wish you blessings in your future walk and hope only good comes from your new life. With God all things are possible, it is in are darkest valley's that God reveals so much to our hearts. Peace in your future stages :)

    • X-Con profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from The Free World!

      North Wind - Good point about being parents upon conception. I never looked at it that way. As always, your comments are highly appreciated!

    • North Wind profile image

      North Wind 

      6 years ago from The World (for now)

      Hello X-Con,

      God was merciful to you in that He was able to take you away from that type of life. Although you never saw your child, you were a father if only for a month or some. That is something that most people do not realize, when there is a pregnancy it is said, 'We are going to be parents,' when in reality the nurturing and parenting begins in the womb.

      Thank you for sharing your story. Perhaps someone who is doubtful and concerned about having an abortion will read this, be convicted and change her mind.

    • X-Con profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from The Free World!

      Monis Mas - Thank you.

    • Monis Mas profile image


      6 years ago

      What a powerful confession! Tragic, but the good thing is, that it passed. Voted interesting.

    • lifegate profile image

      William Kovacic 

      6 years ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      Your story sounds like so many others. It happens everyday. But yet it is so personal. It happened to you. There are a million kids out there that would benefit from your story. Hope that somehow they are able to hear it.

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 

      6 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Hindsight is always 20-20. Age definitely plays a factor, but if we knew then what we know today, it would make such a big difference.

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 

      6 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Good hub. I always wonder about those idiotic things we did so young. But then I look at my children and say "whatever path got me here I am thankful for it". Your path is turning out pretty well I would say.


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