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Religious Crossroads

Updated on December 27, 2011
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I have always loved Jesus and been a believer. Like everyone else, I have my journey to make and will always be making decisions on my own path.

I have never really believed in 'religion' per se. I believe in the house of God. I don't believe that one religion is greater than the other. There is supposed to be only one house of God and the bible does not specify its religion. I choose a church by their atmosphere and their works. What do they do in God's name? I also listen to their teaching. Do they teach opinions or do they teach the Word? Do they teach or threaten? I do not choose God out of fear or because of what I aim to achieve. At church, I hear people praise and worship and call out to him. They say that they want to be with him, but they do not say when. I can't bring myself to say that I want to go with Jesus. I do not want to be by his side right now. I suppose that hearing this is harsh for some. The death of my Prince has done things to me that are difficult to explain. I see everything around me as deteriorating. I see people so wrapped up in the meaningless that I can feel their regrets should they be faced with this grief. Still, I do not want to leave this dying world. I don't pray to see Jesus. I pray to be left behind for my daughter. Heartache or no, I want to be old along side my daughter. I want many years with her and I do not want to be taken until she is of age to handle and survive the grief. I want to care for her until she is a woman.

I guess these are just residual fears and issues spawning from my own grief, but everything is so different. It is difficult for me to hear a brand new father wish so much to be with Jesus when I know what that means to those left behind. I don't know if I am being selfish by wanting as much time here with my daughter as possible or not. I am not sure of much these days. I am alarmed at the amount of crossroads and confusion that grief throws in front of people. I am of strong will and strong mind and I am put to the ground after some of these battles. I can understand the desperation of others in grief. It is not at all easy on the mind or the spirit. One thing that is helping me is that I am not afraid of how others will Judge me. I write openly and honestly although it seems that I am unable to speak.

So my prayer is simple...
Lord, I do not fear the path less traveled. I don't fear pain or heart ache. I can live a meaningful life despite the pain and grief, just please make my path a long one along side my daughter's path. Bless her with many days and keep me here to see them. I pray that you do not separate us while she is young.

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    • Moms-Secret profile image
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      Lissette 4 years ago from Central Florida

      Hahaha, I'm the wrong person to ask. I like that you are searching tho. I am still against titling myself. My religion is my love and my pain. Its what I have in common with every other life. In that we are one. No club affiliations needed.

    • profile image

      newenglandsun 4 years ago

      I'm considering converting to Roman Catholicism. I want to research more of it first though.

    • profile image

      newenglandsun 5 years ago

      Okay. I don't really have a religion either so I think we can relate in this regard.

    • Moms-Secret profile image
      Author

      Lissette 5 years ago from Central Florida

      What a big smile you have given me this morning newenglandsun. I appreciate that you have read more than one of my works. I appreciate more the way you see me. :)

    • profile image

      newenglandsun 5 years ago

      Oh, yes. This actually isn't the only post of yours I have read. I must admit, your statement that people just know that you are a Christian as soon as they see you is 100% accurate.

    • profile image

      newenglandsun 5 years ago

      I would agree with you on this subject.

    • Moms-Secret profile image
      Author

      Lissette 5 years ago from Central Florida

      That is just it isn't it. In the end they are all just beliefs. No one knows for sure. I appreciate the time you took to read and comment newenglandsun.

    • profile image

      newenglandsun 5 years ago

      The majority of christians believe that when you die, you go to Heaven. Jehovah's Witnesses and Seventh Day Adventists do not believe this. They believe it stems from paganism.

    • Moms-Secret profile image
      Author

      Lissette 6 years ago from Central Florida

      Very nice to meet you TruthSeaker. Thank you for reading and commenting. I wonder what truths you are in search of.

    • Moms-Secret profile image
      Author

      Lissette 6 years ago from Central Florida

      Frank, I thank you for coming to visit me and adding me to your collection. I am glad that we have found each other too. You are more than welcome to travel inside my head. The road can get bumpy, but you are free to speak honestly there.

    • TruthSeaker profile image

      TruthSeaker 6 years ago

      Amen

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 6 years ago from Shelton

      wow, what a meaningful message.. a great Hub.. yeah Im glad I found you.. look forward to reading what's inside your mind...:) Frank

    • Moms-Secret profile image
      Author

      Lissette 6 years ago from Central Florida

      Faithwalker - Very nice to meet you. Thank you for commenting. I have lived my life dedicated to love and hope and those things stem from God. My ultimate goal of coarse is to see heaven, but I do not pray for it. My daughter loves Jesus as well. I am not sure that I will ever decide that it is time for me to start wanting to be with Jesus and be ready to go on the spot. Maybe when my daughter is older and can deal with life without me, who knows?

    • Moms-Secret profile image
      Author

      Lissette 6 years ago from Central Florida

      Becky, Thank you so much for the prayer. I guess those who are in grief begin to fear other kinds of grief. I dunno? I just see how delicate everything is and I get scared. I thank God everyday for keeping me here for her.

    • Faithwalker63 profile image

      Faithwalker63 6 years ago from Liberty Hill, Tx.

      Dealing with the pain and grief in this world is tough! We deal with it because we are in a fallen world brought on by the fall of man when sin entered the world. Thank God for his son Jesus Christ who is the answer! I like to think of it as a sick person who goes to the Dr. The Dr. gives him medicine, but he doesn't become immediately well. It takes time for the medicine to run it's course. Jesus is our answer for sin and one day sin will be removed and restoration to all things will come! As the Holy Spirit continues to work in your life and heart and you continue to grow and deepen in your relationship with him, I think you will find yourself wanting to be with Christ more. It's about love! When you love your husband/wife you want to be with him! You don't say "I don't want to be with him". The more you fall in love with Christ....the more you will look forward to being with him! Your concern for your daughter is something we all face with our children. If she is under the age of accountability (12-13) then if Christ comes for the church or she were to pass away then she will be in the arms of Christ. If she is past the age of accountability then the best thing you can do is to help her find Christ. With prayer, faith, and Christ all things are possible!

    • Becky Katz profile image

      Becky Katz 6 years ago from Hereford, AZ

      Lord, they have known enough grief already, please do not give them more right now. Amen

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