Rising for Oneself

We always try to wake up every day of our lives as much as we can do so as long as we are alive. We resolutely push all our energies - mental, physical, and sometimes even spiritual energies – into that act. But why? “Para kanino ba ako babangon?” At the back of my mind, there is always that question that I ask myself even during the process of waking up. For the sake of wondering lest I fall into the monotomy of daily routine and tradition, I dissect my life to examine what really it is essentially that makes me wake up always.

There are many things that can be associated to waking up. First, the act of waking up itself – How, when, and Where one wakes up – is integral to the reason of waking up. That basically pertains to our social status and present living conditions – whether you’re rich or poor, healthy or sick, well-rested or tired. Reflecting upon my present situation – even thinking about simple things such as the appearance of the bed I am sleeping on, the state of my face, and the clothes I was wearing– can help me realize the reason of waking up every day. For example, noticing my long sleeved shirt and jogging pants that I wore during the night while I slept on my bed inside my room in the boarding house where I’m staying gave me an inkling to the kind of life I am living and why I should wake up and continue living. The fact that I am able to sleep while wearing in a fairly comfortable place even an island away from my home is a blessing which upon introspective reflection, will be a evidential clue to the next important thing that will enable me to ignore the call to eternal sleep.

Second, the people you live with all your life can be one of the more important answers to why you wake up every day. How you live with your family can indicate whether you would want or need to continue to wake for the day. You have something worth waking for if you feel and believe that your family can give the moral support you need as much as they are able to. Or the opposite case could also happen – you can still continue to rise to prove that even if your family won’t be supportive enough: Your motivation is proving them wrong. I grew up in a harsh upbringing by strict parents, with my mother’s iron hand, all but physically shackling me to the four corners of our house. What’s disheartening for me as I look back to my growing up years was the way I was pushed into a box full of expectations and things I can’t do and can’t be. Most of the stressful moments I have in my life were caused by my family and in the few crucial months before my high school graduation, I even tried to commit suicide for many times because I could take no more of the stifling pressure of their expectations. So yes, while family is very important, they can at times drive one to death while also providing as much moral support as they can give. Thus, I believe that they are just one reason why people wake up, but not really the essence of doing it.

When considering reasons to wake up in the morning, friends are one of the most crucial things that come to mind. While you cannot choose your family, you have the discretion on whom to befriend and why to do so. That is why you can expect trust and loyalty with your friends, who you trusted with things that you cannot even bear to share with your family – all your joys, worries, heartaches, and plans for the future. When you have friends whom you can trust, even if at times they bring to you the stress of their life, they can be enough motivation to continue to wake up and live every day.

As a Roman Catholic, I also believe that God is a reason for me to wake up each morning. But I firmly believe that the essence of waking up every day is one’s self. I rise for myself because it is a natural instinct for survival. I must always wake up in order to continue to exist and to project myself to this world. I rise for myself because I am all of this: an instrument of God, a daughter, a friend, a woman, and a human.