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Sex: Not Just Something To Do

Updated on March 22, 2012

Sex is not a game. It is not something you do for “fun” or just because you can. It is not meant to be shared among various partners or to be viewed upon by strangers. It is not a trend you follow to be cool in school. Sex is not a tool for use to control people. It is not a simple act. It is not filthy nor should be thought as such.

Sex is a beautiful thing between a man and a woman. It is a sacred bonding of two hearts, and two souls. The man and woman become one whole spirit, living through one another.

People take what sex REALLY is for granite. Not many people share my beliefs, but I believe sex is so sacred, it should only happen in marriage as it is not just about the fleshly pleasure, but the spiritual bonding of two hearts.

The media has falsely imbedded images in our minds. Images that make us believe it is right to be sexually active at a young age, with multiple partners and with out any reason. It has taught us that “everyone is doing it” and it should not be viewed as anything other then physical satisfaction or procreation. The people who believe this lie, wear horse blinders. When you have sex before marriage, it not only puts stress on your relationship but damages the heart. It becomes more apparent when you have sex with several people. Why do you think most men and women feel “love” or that they are “in love” after sex? It is your heart, and your spirit bonding with another person. You think you are in love, while in fact, you are in love with the idea of love. Marriage has become more about money and greed and less about love, but its true value sticks. It is a vow to spend the rest of you life taking care of, loving and being by another person’s side, no matter what. Hollywood has given young men and women the idea that sex before marriage is normal and if you get married and it don’t work out, no biggie! Just get a divorce.

I am standing up for my beliefs. I take love, sex and marriage very seriously, as does God. Not many people want to hear it, but 80% of marriages fail because the couple had sex prior to marriage with one or many people. It is hard to satisfy a heart that knows lust. It is hard to satisfy a heart that knows only greed and want. Women become resentful of their bodies, and men turn to porn or even cheating, which ends in heart break and often, divorce.

I won’t push my beliefs on people, because that is not right as I wouldn’t want it done to me. But take in to consideration how love, sex and marriage is designed to work and what the world has made it. There’s hardly ever a happily ever after anymore.


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    • Hariom Singhal profile image


      6 years ago from INDIA (Haryana) SAMPLA

      Sex is a beautiful thing between a man and a woman. It is a sacred bonding of two hearts, and two souls. The man and woman become one whole spirit, living through one another.

      Yes we should love to each other by hearth.

    • ii3rittles profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago

      Thanks for you kind comment fpherj48! I agree kid & adults are more promiscuous... More so then they actually were in the 60's & 70's! Teenage pregnancy is considered a common thing now & its a shame because most of them babies will grow up with only one parent, if any, in their lives. I believe everyone should wait till marriage & I know not many will agree with that so for thoughs who don't, waiting to have sex till you are financially ready to support a baby should be good grounds.This means having a job, a place of your own, and good income. I worry about my niece getting pregnant because she has been sexually active since I believe 12 or 13 and the one boyfriend she had was a complete dits who disrespected his parents to the point where I wanted to smack him! lol I always tell younger girls never trust a boyfriend who disrespects his mother , if they can do it to their own mother, they will do it to you! Thanks again for the comment!

    • fpherj48 profile image


      6 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      ii3.....It is nice to have discovered you and read one of your hubs. I chose this particular hub, as it's Title drew me in.

      First of all, sweet, young are NOT a prude. That term seems to have a negative sound. There is very little, in your hub, that should translate as "negative," to anyone.

      Sadly and quite realistically, however, we can all clearly see that the "masses" views are as different from your own, as can possibly be.

      I am impressed to hear your sincere feelings and thoughts. How wonderful, if this could begin to take root and spread about......especially amongst the YOUNG.

      I have a grand daughter, your age. Fact is, in July, I will have 12 grandchildren and one precious little Great-grand, for this Grandma.....that's a lot of special people to worry about! Of course I mean, "concern," when I use the word "worry," but it FEELS the same! I want them to always be safe, healthy, wise and content.

      This is a wonderful message. Thank you. I don't consider myself "old-fashioned," but I'm afraid I have some strong disagreements with the "casual attitudes," in 2013. Keep your free spirit & common sense....and try to lead others. Bravo to you. ...UP++++

    • ii3rittles profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago

      Thanks C.J.! And yes, I do believe there are "good" girls left out there. There are not many but I am certain your boys will find some. Just have to look in the right places and avoid the wrong ones. I have come a long way and have not always been right with God. I am still learning. As for the husband, fiance' thing, I am engaged. I often say husband as a future stand. Not a literal comment, but a metaphorically one to establish that I am that serious, as is my fiance'. The only reason we are not married yet is do to financial issues. We want to have our own house before hand. We are in the process of taking care of old debt and applying for a loan for a home. We also want to be 100% in agreement with everything, or at least serious issues. I know we wont ever agree on literally everything. Often times people rush into marriage without making sure all important aspects are agreed upon. This leads to many arguments and then when you bring kids into the picture its like throwing gasoline on fire. Then your left with two people who do not get along, raising kids. Most people give up at this point and resort to divorce. I don't want to make that mistake or go down that road. We both love each other and I consider him my best friend, as he does me. We just want to be 100% certain.

      Anyways, I would not worry to much about your boys finding the right women. God will guide them and as long as they don't lose site on whats good, they wont find sight on whats bad. Thanks again C.J.!

    • profile image

      CJ Sledgehammer 

      7 years ago


      I am an old man and easily confused. You mentioned in this post that you are engaged, yet in the Hub "Demons and Me" (2 years ago), you claimed to already have a husband. Did I miss something or misunderstand something?

      When I pray for you, I guess I want to be accurate when I represent your man as either being your husband or your fiance. I know it's kinda silly, but that's just me. :0)

      Peace be with you - C.J. Sledgehammer

    • profile image

      CJ Sledgehammer 

      7 years ago

      A very powerful and compelling essay, Rittles, well done!

      You take your stand, darlin, and if anyone says squat to you or even looks at you cross-eyed, just call on ol' C.J. Sledgehammer and me and my posse will take care of it! :0)

      Slowly but surely, you are helping to give life to a flickering flame of hope - that there still are a few GOOD girls out there. What I mean by "good" is decent, modest, faithful, moral, and loyal to Christ.

      My fear has been that there will be no good women for my sons to marry when the time comes. Hope is a dangerous thing, Kitten, so don't let me down. I want to, I need to believe that you are for real and my prayer is that there are others like you.

      God's blessings to you and yours - C.J. Sledgehammer

      P.S. I have no choice but to vote this Up, useful, interesting, beautiful, and totally awesome!!!

    • ii3rittles profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago

      Aww, well thank you! Thank you, thank you! :) lol

      And yeah, the bible says following Christ will make families break up and become enemies. So, no surprise. People that focus on physical aspects of life struggle with the idea that there is more then what our eyes see. I just look at a tree, that comes from a tiny seed and know that God is real.

      And thank you for the prayers :)

    • vector7 profile image


      7 years ago

      Engaged? Well congrats!

      As far as your mother goes, I will tell you that parents are not always as wise as they think they are. Having children doesn't give you psychic abilities.. lol. And my parents view me as a fool for putting God ahead of money, so you aren't alone in being untrusted. That just comes with genuinely following Christ I've found.

      Your soon to be husband is a very blessed man by God to have such a beautiful, loyal, and God fearing woman in his life.

      I pray that Jesus keeps you both happy together and gives you a perfect untouchable marriage. With all I've been through and all that this world has become these days it always makes me happy to hear about love that is true and genuine. Just be easy on him.. lol

      I'll pray for you guys.

      God bless,


    • ii3rittles profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago

      I know the feeling, trust me! Many people would rather just view it on a physical level then a spiritual or emotional level. People have lost touch greatly with their spiritual side. I know I have. When your a child, your spirit is filled with hope, faith and unbiased understanding. As we get older and grow up, especially in this day and age, its easy to track of whats really important and what truly deserves our attention. My own mother doesn't even believe I am engaged to a man and not having sex, so what does that say? I get called prude, old fashioned, and more but I've come to the point of understanding that not many people feel the way I do and its okay to be an outcast to the world. Its actually a sign your heading in the right direction. Thanks for your comment! I'm glad it helped you out!

    • vector7 profile image


      7 years ago

      Impeccable article..

      I've been laughed at for a long time for taking this stance about sex. I certainly couldn't have said it better. It's nice to hear someone else state it, and so boldly.

      It's very, very comforting and helpful to read this article for me, for where I live, and among those around me [in person] - I am the only one I know of that believes in this view any longer.

      Thank you for writing it, it helps.

    • ii3rittles profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago

      Thanks Seeker7! I am viewed as a lot of things because of this. I am engaged, however so it doesn't bother me now. I made dumb mistakes in the past but learned greatly from them. Teenagers don't realize what they are doing. They think they are mature and "ready" when in all reality, I don't think most teenagers are in fact ready. Regardless of religious or spiritual background, if you can't support a child, you shouldn't be having sex. So that sums up 95% of teenagers. I also think everything got messed up from years ago. Girls were considered women when they started their periods and were able to wed, and boys were considered men when they were able to learn a job or trade, so kids were getting married around 13-16 years old. Which is when hormones start. This not only prevented wide spread unwed mothers, but kept families together. You see, as I said... It is hard to please a heart that knows lust. Lust is learned in the teenage years. If a boy/girl can not control this, it ruins their heart. School is another issue. While the school system may be considered better now then it was back then as far as education goes, its harder for a boy or girl to not have sex. They are in school till 18 and then if they go to college, they are there for another 3 to 10 years. I am a firm believer that sex before marriage and with multiple people is what kills a mans sex drive. They also say women don't peak sexually till their 30's, which I think is another lie. If that were true, girls wouldn't be having sex as young as 10 years old.

      Anyways, I do think its a shame, but what do I know, I'm a prude.

    • Seeker7 profile image

      Helen Murphy Howell 

      7 years ago from Fife, Scotland

      An interesting hub and I do tend to agree with your views that sex is a sacred thing and shouldn't be used or abused for any negative gains.

      I think one of the problems today, is that many youngsters are brain washed into thinking that if you haven't had sex by a certain age there must be something wrong with you. Also, if you are a person who feels sex is only for marriage then you are also viewed as old fashioned, frigid, abnormal, a kill joy, dour or whatever.

      The reality is, is that sex is viewed as a game, but it's a 'game' that can have serious consequences. The babies for a start and they are the most important - we live in a world now where a wee kid is used to having brothers and sisters with different fathers etc. And they wonder why some of these kids grow up anti-social and dysfunctional. There is the higher risk of sexually transmitted diseases. But in addition, when younger girls are having sex frequently it also puts them at higher risk of serious medical conditions, such as cancer, at an earlier age.

      I salute you for making your feelings known and for standing by your beliefs. I think it might just surprise you how many people do in fact agree with you.

    • ii3rittles profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago

      Thank you for all your comments! I appreciate the feed back! =)

    • mbyL profile image

      Slaven Cvijetic 

      7 years ago from Switzerland, Zurich

      After reading this hub I share your views. I think we can set an equal sign between sex and love making. Sex on its own is rather the process of an interaction between woman and man. But do you think if you have found the right one and love her passionately, actively there can be made an exception in your idea so they do not have to wait until they are married?

      Anyway, great hub! Shared, Twittered Voted up and interesting!

    • WretchedRapture profile image


      7 years ago from California, USA

      I agree in the sense that sex is not to be taken lightly, but your last statement caught my eye. You say there's hardly ever a happily ever after anymore, but I'd like to propose the question, was there ever?

    • wayseeker profile image


      7 years ago from Colorado

      An honest statement of feelings that is well received. While I still wish more people shared this view than currently do, I still think there are more people who feel this way than one might think. Most simply choose not to voice it because it is not "in vogue" at the moment in our media culture.

      Nonetheless, I love to see this coming out from a young voice because my greatest fear is the influence the media might have over the young with their "open sex" viewpoint.

      Nice work,



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