Spiritualism or New Age
As most people know the so called "New Age" movement thought to have begun in the 60's in England and gain momentum in the United States in the 70's was actually begun a very long time ago,as far back as Alexander the Great. Then in 325 A.D. Christianity took over and forbade the New Age practices (although they did incorporate several of them into Christianity).
Today New Age followers call themselves "spiritualists" because New Age, which is not a religion nor has it ever been, does not explain what it is and attempts to make it sound "Flakey" or "hippie like" (as if that could be a bad thing). Spiritualists study various aspects of spiritual practice that covers a wide variety of things.
There is no book like the Quoran, Torah or Bible. There can't be. The whole point is that there is no religion, only beliefs, ideas and certain mysticism as well as being entrenched in philosophy. To create any "book" with rules to follow would result much as explained in the Book "One" by Richard Bach.
Many would love this book and be grateful for it's existence. They would find meaning in their lives and follow its doctrines. Many would also abhor this book and want it destroyed as perhaps it would work against what they believe and what they think is best for the world and the people in it. It would create division between those who accept it and those who do not. Those who would fight to protect it would die for it and kill for it. The creation of this book would force those who believed in it to go against it's very teachings by having to kill to protect it. Thereby creating a religion. Billions have died in the name of religion and Spiritualists do not wish to create yet another one.
Still, spiritualism (or New Age, if you must) continues, without any holy text, clergy, membership, dogma, or creed. They often use mutually exclusive definitions for some of their terms. The New Age is in fact a free-flowing spiritual movement; a network of believers and practitioners who share somewhat similar beliefs and practices. Most of them will describe themselves as "spiritual, not religious" Period.
Being Spiritual doesn’t mean abandoning your worldly possessions and sitting semi-naked beneath a tree in permanent meditation. That has already been done. And while many spiritualists read and believe in the Buddah, being a man, I doubt he was actually perfect. But spiritual doesn’t mean being perfection incarnate, as humans we are all flawed, and our purpose is trying to make the best of the hand we’ve been dealt, of ourselves.
Being Spiritual means acknowledging that we’re already a small piece of Spirit incarnate, and trying to understand more about what this means. It means recognizing that, as spiritual beings we are more connected than separate, more similiar than different.
Spiritualists believe that through our thoughts and actions we can each make the world a little better, or a little worse. We can each help, or hinder, human – and thus Spiritual – evolution. Being Spiritual is simply adopting this awareness and choosing to consciously act accordingly
There are those who say that Spirituality has a certain "feel good" aspect to it that says you can do whatever you want as long as you don't hurt anyone else. This is not entirely true. It is basically that we do whatever is "for the good of all involved", after all we believe we are all connected and therefore what we do effects everyone.
We are completely aware of the Christians who like to tout that we are satan worshipers, witches, even Nazi's and this cracks me up because Spritualists are the exact opposite. But many people say things in fear or ignorance. That is the point of this Hub. To educate with truth. Spiritualists also tend to follow Science over Faith whenever possible, as Science is factual.
My husbands aunt was briefly living with us with her daughter M. She was worried because she knew I did not believe in religion and had a conversation with a woman working in my husbands office that told her she believed I was a witch (she no longer works here). My aunt told her daughter M. that I was a witch and M., who had become very close to me, told me. So one night when the three of us were going out I started to walk toward my truck (I have a truck and a car). "Oh we're taking the truck?" his aunt asked.
"Well" I answered right away "I was going to take my broom but I didn't think we'd all fit". We all laughed.
I so not become angry about people's assumptions. I do wish they would ask me what my beliefs are, but until they do, there will be confusion and misunderstanding.
When you make the decision to become a Spiritualist you have to be prepared for the isolation that goes along with it. We are a group of people that do not have one Central place to go. We don't "Worship" anything or anyone. The whole idea is to better ourselves and each other. To make the world a better place through love, acceptance, understanding, and compassion. But since most people do not understand what Spiritualists believe or what the New Age movement is about, they "assume" a lot.
My father thought this meant I did not believe in God. In fact, we not only believe in God but that God is actually in all of us as we were taught as children. We are definitley children of God and we are all interconnected. Each and every one of us. Which is why we try not to judge others, their beliefs, or their choices. We try to only send out what we call "good energy" so that it will come back to us. As since we are all inter-connected, we believe at some point it does.
Science has already proven that everything consists of energy and that we are energy, as well as the fact that we exist within energy, Many spiritualists believe that this is "God Like energy" and that is why we exist with in it and it is part of us.
What we Really Believe
Not each and every Spiritualist believes the same exact things. Some of us believe in Tarot, psychicism, meditation, yoga, reiki, karma, aura's, akashic field, energy fields, astral projection, reincarnation, chakras, our responsiblity to the earth (ecology), and to our bodies, Qigong, astrology, channeling, and most important personal growth and transformation. We believe this happens on a daily basis. We believe everything happens for a reason and eventually we will find out why if not at that very moment. We believe in living in the moment and not the past. Forgiveness is important. Challanges appear to test us or teach us.
Christians like to say we are devil worshipers, but we don't even believe in such a thing and we certainly don't blame any wrong behavior on the "devil" or some other imaginary character, nor do we think we should live in fear that if we are not good people we will be damned to hell. We don't believe in some middle earth hell like place either. We are, after all, "enlightened".
Being the best human being we can be is a goal that never ends. We live for the moment, in the moment. This does not mean not to cherish beloved memories or set some goals for your future. But so many people do just that and miss endless moments in their lives as they happen. We have this moment, this one right now. Whether we are contemplating, enjoying the sound of our childrens laughter, the sun setting, the silence, a beautiful melody or a poem. We have to drink in the moment. The now. Inhale it and let it become part of you. These are the little things that fill us up and make our world a beautiful place.
Remember when you were a child and inhaled the smell of fresh cut grass? So many friends of mine loved that smell. I remember laying on the front lawn staring up at the blue sky and the puffs of clouds passing by. Without realizing it, I was sort of meditating. Just in that moment inhaling the fresh spring air and watching clouds. How often do we this as adults? Taking the time to just BE.
Just yesterday I took a 5 minute drive down to the local beach with our dog Tanzia (Tanny) and started walking along the shore. I inhaled deeply the salty air and closed my eyes and listened to the music of the ocean. I love those moments. They are by far my favorites. I am so fully aware when I am at the beach.
There are some aspects of Hinduism in the New Age. One is Karma. That there is a "boomerang" effect to our actions. Sort of like the Christians believe that "God will punish you for that". We believe that our actions, good or bad, will find their way back to us. This deters us from being insensitive people who just don't care. We believe we have to face the consequences for our actions, one way or another. So we try very hard not to do anything stupid.
Reincarnation is another one. That when we die we come back in another human form. The purpose of this is to evolve our spirits or souls. One lifetime, even six or eight, is usually not enough to evolve to the divine state that we are seeking to achieve. There is a great deal to learn and earth and all our experiences here are our teachers. We believe that a great many things are decided when we are on the "other side" prior to our return to earth. Some of us even believe we choose our life lessons here on earth before we get here. But not everyone believes all the things I have listed and some will probably follow their own personal beliefs that others of us do not. We believe we have certain control over our destinies and that some things are "destined", meant to be, for whatever reason or purpose that it is necessary in the universe. But as people say "We make plans and God laughs" so we do not believe everything is within our control. Which may be why things do not always turn out as we plan.
We believe in always keeping an open mind and questioning everything. We feel ignorance breeds hatred and so knowledge is an awesome tool. It keeps evil at bay and feeds our minds. And we believe there is no one, right way to the kingdom of God.
We know God did not create religion. He may have told people to spread the word, and we don't even know for sure that he said that, but I would imagine if he did, the word was love. Men created religion and we know what that means...
So you might think, "So, we are all spirit, we all have spirits, everyone is spiritual, whats the deal with you guys?"
Well, physical existence is the deal. It disengages us from our true spiritual selves. We get lost in the day to day workings of life on earth. We are "stressed out" and "overwhelmed" and then we have "road rage" and bark at each other like rabid dogs because someone didn't move fast enough or had the audacity to try to get in front of us. What is that about? Are these things truly important? We are not responding to "the moment" we are responding to a build up of stressful and difficult moments that we never had a chance to respond to during our day or week or even month because we are so busy thinking about the next one.
We are not truly present. We are dashing from moment to moment and causing a build up that affects us both mentally and physically and consequently, spiritually.
Spiritalism is what pulls us from our stressful existence and reminds us that we are more than the material existence that we have created here on earth. We are more than the psychological game playing that occurs constantly in our lives. We are so much more, and we need to take the time to explore that, to examine it, to meditate on it. To look at these moments and find ways to reduce the stress, re-evaluate how important these material things are, to re-discover the spiritual part of us we had as children and traded in for the stress filled life of an unaware adult.
Don't misunderstand me, as I stated earlier, there is no sitting under trees meditating on our oneness with the earth, although hey, if you have some time by all means feel free. But spiritualism is a way of living our lives in peace with the material world. Not separate from it.
Aspects of Spirituality or "Our Tools"
Elaborating on those Spiritual interests I stated earlier; Spiritualists tend to gravitate towards the same things due to the fact that we have the same goals. Additionally, Spirituality has been around a long time and most the practices we incorporate into our spiritual lives have been around for thousands of years. I will attempt to list many of these as well as brief descriptions into each one:
Psychic Powers and Psychics - If your friend takes you to some man or woman who "guesses" you have an Uncle Joe (practically everyone has an Uncle Joe), or that your mother has some illness (if you are over 30 chances are your mom and/or dad have some sort of illness even if it is just high blood pressure), you are probably sitting in front of a phoney psychic who has no ability to "see" or "feel" anything about you or your life. On the other hand, if you go to someone who tells you specific information about you, your family or your future, then that is a genuine psychic. Especially if you write or record the conversation and check in periodically to see what came true. A real psychic will never mind if you tape the session.
Meditation - This takes practice but once you can meditate, you get hooked. It is the most wonderful, peaceful feeling one can have. There are guided meditations, chakra meditations, music to illicit a meditative state and more. For some repeating a mantra such as "OM" works. The whole idea is to distract yourself from your thoughts. Eventually it becomes much easier to "clear your mind". Nothing new about this, it's been around for centuries. It is believed that it allows the subconcious mind to come through when we quiet the chatter of our concious minds.
Reiki - The word Reiki means "God's Wisdom or the Higher Power". This is an energy work venue and what some would call "laying on of hands". It is used for spiritual healing and self improvement. It is used for Stress Reduction, relaxation and promotes healing. It is working with the energy force around us considered "Universal Life" energy. It is believed that Reiki flows through our palms at different rates of speed. The speed is dependent on the extent of the recipient’s illness, degree of blockage, his or her readiness to accept change, and so on.
Feng Shiu - I just started a trio of classes in Feng Shiu. If I said it was as old as the hills I might be close. It is said to be anywhere from 2,000 to over 5,000 years old. The Ba-Gua is the Feng Shiu chart that one uses to learn how to keep the flow of Chi or Ki moving throughout your house and helps you understand where and how ki is blocked or split or just cut off. However, this is only one form of Feng Shiu, there are many aspects to this old discipline and in order to teach you any of them you would have to give me 9 red envelopes, so this is all I am going to say about Feng Shiu.
Tarot - This happens to be my area. I love tarot and have been "reading" for about 15 years. I did not "study" tarot, or the cards or their meanings to get started. I just picked up a deck of cards and a book and used my keen intuition and it worked like magic. The studying came later. Tarot cards tell a story, each card relates to another. The Major Arcana and the Minor Arcana are 2 parts of a whole. There are 52 cards to a deck. Astrology and numerology are both involved. There are many spreads that can be used, depending on the information the inquirer is seeking. Due to the occults one time belief and following of the tarot, it lost some of its significance and historic value. Skeptics have tried to claim that tarot is just another fake "psychic tool" but I can tell you that there are those like me who do tarot readings and have people come back again and again because we have told them solid specific facts about their futures. I can't pretend not to know the truth.
Qigong - Also working with one's energy, Qigong is also thousands of years old. Scientists study qigong in terms of physiology, biochemistry, and modern medicine, which has inspired many to learn the tradition. It involves movement of the Ki and controlled breathing. Moving the ki involves smooth, flowing, controlled movements working in conjunction with the breath. Many Quigong practitioners believe that qigong works for stress management, healing, longevity, anti aging, meditation, exercise, breathing, natural healing, and much more.
Astrology - Who hasn't checked their horoscopes "just out of curiosity" hmmm? Everyone knows what Astrology is. It was begun by the greeks and the word "astrology" itself means "study of the stars" and was used as early as 3,000 B.C. The oldest surviving horoscope birthchart done for an individual dates back to April 29, 410 B.C.E. in Babylon. There are 12 astrological signs pertaining to each month. They are Aries - "I am", "Taurus" - "I have", Gemini - "I Think", Cancer - "I feel", Leo - "I will", "Virgo" - "I Analyze", Libra - "I balance", Scorpio - "I Desire", Sagittarius ' "I Aim", Capricorn - "I use", Aquarius - "I know", Pisces - "I believe". Each sign is designated a planet as well as various attributes.
Yoga - Yoga is actually an excellent and again, age old practice that unfortunately having gained in commercial popularity, lost its spiritual connection. In fact it was so commercial that those who practiced yoga actually believed that the practice alone made them more spiritual beings. This is untrue. Twisting yourself into a bunch of poses is not spiritual. Yoga is more than that and it deserved more respect than what Westerners gave it. Yoga originated in India and it is not just physical, it is also mental. The Baghvad Gita claims (3) major types of Yoga:Karma yoga: The yoga of action, Bhakti yoga: The yoga of devotion, Gnana yoga: The yoga of knowledge.
Hatha yoga was the more popular starter in the West, but these days Bikram Yoga is the more prevelant. Those who practice yoga claim it makes their bodies stronger. However, it is necessary that anyone interested in the practice learn from a professional as injuries can occur if a pose is done incorrectly, and they should never be forced.
What are Christians so afraid of?
Many of the above practices were of course used by most people back before Christ. However, when Christianity came along, these practices were forbidden and considered in direct conflict with the Christian doctrines, even yoga!!
I found this at one of many many Christian sights I happened upon while researching this Hub:
"The New Age Movement is a modern revival of very ancient, divergent, religious traditions and practices. The actual original root is squarely centered in Genesis 3:1-5, and reverberates throughout the movement's continued historical expressions. In the original lie, Satan questions God's word, His authority and benevolent rule (v. 1), disputes that death results from disobedience (v. 4), and claims that through the acquisition of secret or Gnostic wisdom man can be enlightened and can be "like God" (v. 5). "
Ok, like I said earlier, we don't even believe in Satan let alone follow any Satan like belief. By the way neither does the Wiccan Religion. They follow the earth, Gaia and believe in the Goddess and Great Mother Earth and cherishing her. This makes them very ecology conscious. But not Satan worshipers who are a completely different group and absolutely not part of spiritualism.
Of course we can be enlightened. Anyone can. Why wouldn't they want to be? Why wouldn't they strive to be? No one would be stupid enough to think they are "God-like"...well perhaps some men out there do, but usually that is frowned upon and thought of as arrogant.
We absolutely do not question the existence of God or what God wants from us as his children. We do think that death is a natural occurance and not God's punishment. We do not believe in a "vengeful" God. We absolutely believe that we should be better people. We don't actually shoot for the stars, we know it is not possible to be "like God" we would settle for walking in the great sandals of that "Hippie in the Sky", Jesus. How is this a bad thing?
I was confused as to why the Christian's so fear the New Age Movement or what they call NAM. Every place I went there were the fearful Christians. Then I realized they all kept saying how the New Age Movement was growing and reading about how droves of Christians were leaving their religion and realized the connection. WE are not out their recruiting people to our side. That is not our way. We don't know why Christians are walking away from their religions, but I am sure it has nothing to do with us.
Here's another one:
"Western culture is currently experiencing a phenomenal, spiritual, ideological, and sociological shift. It is a religious world view that is alien and hostile to Christianity"
The shift that is pissing them off is the New Age Movement and for some reason they believe we are hostile to them. As I have stated before, we try hard not to be hostile to anyone. It goes against our beliefs. Why do they see us as Hostile? Because they feel perhaps they are losing ground and we are gaining it? There is shift in conciousness due to reasons I am not going to state here as I don't want to appear "hostile" to Christians!!
But what bothered me the most in all this nonsense they printed was that they continually make God sound jealous,vengeful, and that people should live in fear of God. That is so sad. How can they percieve of such a God? Personally, I find him all loving, pure love. And I will continue to do so.
Elements of Eastern faiths and New Age thinking have been widely adopted by 65% of U.S. adults, including many who call themselves Protestants and Catholics, according to a survey by the Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life. Now it started to become clear to me what the Christians are afraid of, wait there's more...
" The percentage of people who call themselves some type of Christian has dropped more than 11% in a generation, and so many people declined to label themselves with any religion that the so-called "Nones," now 15%, are the nation's third largest "religious" category after Catholics and Baptists, according to the latest "American Religous Identification Survey" released in March 2009".
This is why we are a threat to Christianity and they therefore feel the need to spread lies and misinformation about the New Age Movement.
Now according to the ARIS study approximately 74% of America is Christian and only a tiny percentage is No Religion, secular or other, approximately 24%. (not including Muslims, Hindus, Jews and Eastern Religion). So, what are they so worried about?
Why I Choose Spirituality
When I was a little girl I used to lie on my bed with my arms at my sides, hands up, and stare at the ceiling. Then one day I noticed something around my hands, something that wasn't actually there but I could feel it, when I wiggled my fingers a bit, it didn't go away. It made me laugh when I did that. Today I know what I was feeling was my own "energy". I enjoyed doing it, so I did it whenever I could think about it. It felt "cool".
Around this same time (I was 9) I was having nightmares like when I was very small. I was being chased by a monster. I would run and run and try to run faster (which of course you can never do in dreams), then one night I decided, and I have no idea why, that I was going to ask this monster why he kept chasing me. I did just that, I controlled my own dream. I now know this is called Lucid Dreaming. I just entered my own dream while I was running and asked the monster why he was always chasing me. Needless to say having faced the monster, I never had the nightmare again.
I was around 10 or 11 when I started noticing that I left my body at night. I flew around the neighborhood and got bored and went back to my body. Apparently, I wasn't missing much at night when I slept. Then one night I left and flew out my window with someone I cannot even describe more than a woman in a long flowing white dress. We went to London and stood in front of a huge clock with a very ornate design. She told me it was "Big Ben". I had never seen this before. Amazing.
But it was the night that I "flew" into the living room that really cinched the deal. I was on the ceiling and I couldn't get down off the ceiling. It was annoying. I would later learn that our spirit travels at a higher frequency and therefore cannot be less than about 7 feet off the ground. It was frustrating but I noticed my grandmother sitting her chair knitting as she did just about every night and watching an old movie. It looked interesting. But I was irritated by the ceiling thing, so I returned to my body and woke myself up. I snuck out of my bed and crawled on the floor to the doorway of the living room and sure enough my grandmother was knitting and watching that movie. I hadn't even missed much. So I watched the rest of it, sitting there on the floor.
None of this seemed even remotely odd to me. Still, I never discussed it with anyone.
One night my sister couldn't fall asleep. I was getting frustrated with her tossing and turning and complaning. Finally I said "Why don't you just close your eyes and watch the pictures in your head?"
"What?" she said, clearly sounding confused so I repeated myself.
"What pictures?" she asked. I told her again to close her eyes and think about something and she would see it in her head. She thought I was nuts and I became confused. Doesn't everyone just close their eyes and see whatever they want to in their minds? I did this ALL THE TIME. What I was doing was constant "creative visualization". I did it a lot. Apparently, my sister never did it at all. That was when I decided that perhaps I should not tell people what I do.
At 18 I had my first precognitive dream. It was about my friend Donna in a club. It was like a "scene" that played before me. That Friday the scene played out and I was shocked. Oh my God Donna, I dreamt this" I yelled out to her but she was not interested at that time.
After a particularly violent night with my boyfriend at the age of 21 I realized I had to save myself somehow. It was a beautiful Spring morning and the sky was a gorgeous blue. I stared out at the sky trying to figure out how I could get out of it without fear of retaliation when I heard a voice say "strike at his weakest point". I was a bit dull at 21 and didn't even know what it meant. It took me a few minutes to figure it out but when I did, I realized I had my plan. And it worked. Thank God for whomever or whatever that voice was.
I know I am pregnant literally, the minute I conceive.
When I was 3 months pregnant I told my husband we were having a boy "How can you know that?" I shrugged "I don't know, it just sort of hit me, it's a boy". I was so certain I did nnot pick a girls name and decorated the room for a boy, which I am sure my son was happy about.
In my early 30's I woke up and heard there was a plane crash but everyone had survived. I immediately had the feeling that there would be another plane crash but this time there would be casualties. I thought that was odd to have that thought as i never used the word "casualties". I told my husband.
"Theres going to be a plane crash"
"Oh my God Annie, there was a plane crash..."
"No, not that one, another one, but this time there will be casualties"
"When?" he asked
"Soon, within the next few days". It was just a "feeling".
The following day another plane crashed, there were no survivors.
"How do you do that?" he asked me "Can you pick lottery numbers?"
"No, no one can"
"I think its something you're not supposed to gain financial reward from".
But more and more he loved my instincts and wouldn't even buy a car without my "sitting in it and telling him how I felt". That is how I got Caprice. My huge grey Chevy with the burgandy interior. I loved that boat!! I had a great feeling about her. Then one night I was in a dead sleep when suddenly I started dreaming that my car was in trouble. I shot up in bed "My Car, My car, they're hurting my car!!" I kept yelling this and my husband, who was still awake in the living room came running in "What is it??"
"My car, quickly, they're hurting my car!!"
He ran to the widow and sure enough another car got caught on the bumper of my car coming out of the driveway across the street (my car was parked in the street near the driveway). My husband ran downstairs and yelled for the car to stop and directed them so they could disengage from my bumper. When he came back up he stood in the doorway staring at me "How the hell did you know that? You were sleeping"
I just shrugged my shoulders "Just had a feeling"
"About a CAR??"
I smiled "I love that car".
One day I told him off handedly that the girl across the street was going to have a baby.
"Which one?" he asked "They have 5 or 6 daughters!!"
"The dark one with the guido boyfriend I don't like because he honks for her instead of getting out of the car?"
"Oh yeah, that one"
"She's pregnant, I'm not even sure if she knows it yet, she isn't due until April 30th, it's a girl, around 8 pounds"
"Annie, come on, how the hell can you know that?"
I smiled "Just remember I told you"
"Thats nearly 8 months away"
"Just remember I told you" I said again.
On May 1st I was potting hanging petunias in my window boxes when I noticed a pink balloon that said "It's A Girl".
"Hey!" I yelled to my husband "She had the baby yesterday, see, it's a girl".
"How do you know she had it yesterday?"
"Are you serious? Fine, lets go ask"
We went downstairs and as we were crossing the street one of her sisters came out. "Congratulations" we said and then "When was the baby born?"
"Oh last night, around 10, a beautiful girl around 8 pounds".
I smiled at my husband "mm hmmm"
"Five numbers" he mumbled walking away "I just need 5 freakin numbers".
This was my life. Astral projection, precognitive dreams, Lucid dreaming, faint voices and creative visualization and then there was Tarot.
I picked up Tarot cards and it all came to me as naturally as breathing. I wanted to do readings right away and so did one for my friend Rosa. All in all I told her the "boyfriend" she planned on marrying would not be around in the Spring when she was going to have financial difficulties and then she would meet an older man who had money but he was not the one, after him would be a younger guy, no money, but he was the one.
Later that week her boyfriend broke up with her, that May she had financial problems and meet an older guy with money. That didn't work out and she met Jimmy a guy about 10 years younger than her. Last I heard they were still living together.
This was weird. But I liked it. Until the day I did a reading for my step-mother and saw someone close to her was going to die at the end of the year. I put the cards away. It scared me. What if it was my dad?
That Christmas Day her mother died. I flew to Georgia for the funeral and did not pick up the cards again for 6 years.
My family calls me to interpret dreams and ask me how I 'Feel' about certain situations. When my brother was dating a girl they disliked terribly, they asked me to do a reading. I did. I told them she would be gone within 6 months. They thought I was just saying that to make them feel better. I explained that I don't do that and I promised it wouldn't be much longer. She was gone 2 months later.
My friend Dani was stressing over her boyfriend, she was certain he was seeing his x-wife. She was going on so much I finally blurted out "what are you freaking out about, it's not going to last a year anyway and YOU are going to Leave HIM".
She thought I was nuts. No way would she ever leave him. She was never in love like this before. It didn't last a year, it lasted 11 months and she did leave him.
This is so second nature to me, I hardly ever think about it anymore. I still read tarot and tell people I never met what signs they are before I even speak to them. I met one women who wanted a reading I said "You're a water sign aren't you? Cancer I would say" She was shocked. She was also shocked when I told her she was having problems with her son and that they wouldn't last, not to stress over it. She came back a year later for another reading because everything I had told her was dead on.
I called my stepmother one day "Someones going to have a baby!"
"Who you?" she asked
"God forbid! Bite your tongue, no not me, one of the boys wives".
"oh I doubt that AnnMarie"
"No, I'm telling you, one of your daughter in laws is going to have a baby".
A month later my brother called me to tell me the "good news" that I knew before he did. A few days later my father called me "Hey Annie, do you know if it's a boy or a girl?"
I told him it was a girl. I was the last girl born in the family. In 48 years we had only boys. Nine of them to be exact. Until my niece was born.
I get feelings about places I should be and I never know why until I get there. I pick up people's "energy" and if they get into my space and they do not have good energy it makes me very uncomfortable and I casually keep my distance.
When my oldest son was going through a hard time with drugs I had horriffic anxiety attacks before each bad episode with him. I knew when something was going to happen hours before it did. I was losing it. I knew what each anxiety attack meant and I had to wait for whatever was going to happen, to happen.
Finally one night was so bad I was in and out of sleep, tossing and turning. The anxiety was so horrible even xanax didn't help. Then the phone rang at 4:30 am. I didn't even know my son had left the house but I was sure that it was him on the phone. He had crashed his car head on into a tree and walked to a pay phone because he forgot his cell at home. I immediately dressed to go get him and we went past the tree where his car was. He hit the tree on the drivers side. The car was done. I had just bought it for him a month earlier. But I was amazed that he just got out of that car and walked away.
Shortly after he left to get his act together in another state where his dad lived, I had a nervous breakdown. Funny, I didn't see that coming.
It Can Be A Nightmare
On the night of September 8, 2001 I had a nightmare that woke me up sweating profusely. I was so scared that I refused to go back to sleep. This was the first nightmare I had ever had since when I was 9 and faced that "monster".
This monster was far more frightening. As I looked out my bedroom skylight I wondered what "evil" was out there and what was going to happen. Would my family be harmed? How was this going to play out? Was soemthing going to happen to my children? How could I protect anyone if I had no clue what it was? The only thing I could remember from the nightmare was what I would call confusion and carnage. I had no answers, only questions and no one who could answer them.
The following night it happened again and now I was so frightened I woke up my husband. I told him I keep having these nightmares and I was afraid. I was certain something horrible was going to happen and I didn't know how to stop it as I had no clue what the hell it was!! He told me I was nuts, it was probably nothing and go to sleep.
The night of the 10th, I had my third nightmare. But this time I could recall it. I was by the water, and behind me was a city. What I find stupid on my part, was that I did not even recognize the city behind me as New York City. The whole beautiful skyline. How odd...and in front of me on the water were people on a huge steel ship. They were scared. They said the "shark" was going to kill them. I laughed and tryed to comfort them telling them that a shark cannot bite through a steel ship. I was so certain that they would be fine, but then the shark did just that. People were falling off the boat and screaming and scrambling to save their lives and I kept reaching down my hand toward them, screaming for them to take my hand so I could help them, but I couldn't seem to reach them. I was too far away. There was nothing I could do.
I was still upset when I woke up to get my older son off to school the next morning, September 11, 2001.
It didn't take me long to realize that my nightmares were just me, picking up the evil energy that would hit my city. The city I could not even recognize in my nightmare. The one I was too far away to help when the shark bit into the steel ship.
I have not had any nightmares since 9/11.
I don't have any rational explanations for what I do or what I know or what I "feel" other than that we are all interconnected. If we are open to what is around us, we can "feel" it, we "pick it up". A psychic friend of mine tells me I have a very "tuned in" antennae that picks up these energies. Alot of people do. They just don't pay any attention to them.
All these things led me to look outside the Catholic Church who frowned upon the very things that seemed to come naturally to me. My search for an explanation on all this was going to be hard to find and did not start in earnest until I was 33.
I had a dream I had to work in a school. So I started looking for a job in a school. I knew the minute I found the right place as I recognized it from my dream. I got the job as a secretary to the Principal. They had rented a building from the Unitarian Church and the church was next store. A woman named Maria was their secretary. She was the one I was there to meet. She was the one who told me to read a book that started me on my spiritual journey. Since I could not find my answers in any established religion, this was a huge help. It made a world of difference in my life.
Not two months before he died I did a reading for my father. I don't know why I felt so strongly compelled to do so, I never had never done a reading for him before. I did a reading and saw he was going to die soon. I panicked and called my friend Dani, looking for her to contradict me. Tell me I did the reading wrong, maybe it was something else?
Although my family are church-going Christians they can't deny the information I tell them. They know I have some "gift" and they on occasion take advantage of it.
It's funny, just the other day my stepmother called me. Since I tend to ignore my phone she said "Hey I'm surprised you answered your phone!!"
I laughed "Hey, I'm surprised I answered my phone too!"
Now she laughed and I said "So, whats the matter?"
She replied "Why, what do you feel?"