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Reincarnation and Remembering
The Hot Cup of Karma
We all know about the family member --- yes, that family member, that is impossible to get along with. Barely past "hello" and you can feel the temperature rise. Your former battles are well known to you, and you are just waiting....Stop! Just a postulate here. Are your former battles known to you? Why does that person seem to be always "in your face"? Maybe because of a past life relationship full of conflict? This is where the postulate gets fuzzy. What did you do to them in a past life? Do you deserve the ration of matter that is constantly being doled out to you, along with your Cheerios? Maybe there was a great deal of unresolved conflict in a former family? Maybe you roles were reversed? Maybe you were the older/younger, and they were the older/younger? That hot cup of Karma that you are forced to drink with your Cheerios at breakfast may be a VERY OLD CUP.
Crossing the River Lethe - Forgetfulness is the Whole Key
The problem with reincarnation theory and the beauty of it, is that we just don't know. The Greek's called it "crossing the River Lethe". What it means is that a great state of amnesia overcomes the past experience so that you can then go on to your next experiences. Think about how hard it is to live your current life with clarity and comprehension and poise. If you had another life crammed into your head for your constant referencing, it would defeat the purpose of your current life. So we are left in a constant conundrum about the causes and origins of inexplicable conflict. I said "inexplicable" because in many relationship, we know why the hatred may be there. Your personalities don't jive and one harmed the other in a certain way at a certain time, or the pain of sibling rivalry has always put you two at odds and caused obvious daily grief. So, the question is a hard one, but the message of this article will be plain.
Lots of Reasons for the Variance
An entire set of professions has arisen in the last 120 years to deal with conflict and the questions as to "Why does that family member hate me?" A number of acceptable "nonparanormal" reasons can explain possibilities: birth order, different father/mother, age gaps, genetic differences and environmental factors. Let us say for a moment that it is the fate and destiny of astrology that these human factors exist, then we are still left with a certain "inexplicability", even if we want to accept a reincarnative/karmic influence. In other words, with the full faithful belief in reincarnation, we still have to relegate the historical past life background in a relationship to our imagination. So then, what are we left with?
Not A Mystery of the Head, A Mystery of the Heart
Why people won't forgive each other is probably the greatest mystery of all. Let's pretend we know a past life mystery. Let's make one up. "I hate dealing with Jane, even at Thanksgiving dinner. We have not been able to tolerate each other since we can remember. She pulled my hair, I pushed her into the mud puddle. It turns out that in a past life, She robbed me of my mate, which left me destitute and psychologically in life-altering despair. I ended up getting back at her when we were older, by not sharing a sudden windfall that I received". If this story is from a current life, or the last one, the pure fact is that the Heart must heal. It's not who was at fault when, or who was the evil doer and who was the victim; its how much forgiveness can be washed over the wounds of the soul.
"I Can Forgive Most Anybody, But Not Her"
As a species, we are very good at measuring offenses, hurts, oversights, intentional insults grave errors, venal sins and sins and crimes worthy of complete ignominy. It's what keeps us all in line, and helps us remain in a world full of dualities. This constant measurement of error and fault also keeps us locked in when it comes to mercy and forgiveness. We watch enough crime dramas. Our media rain down these kinds of measurement continuously. The rapist who gets a few months confinement, the white collar criminal who gets a short bit in a country club prison, the life sentence that goes to whoever you think does not deserve it. This realm in which we live has a way of dictating to our hearts what we can forgive and what we can not forgive. I am not saying that we have to forgive in this world. Heaven knows people go to sleep each night fully convinced of their hatreds and biases, nourishing themselves with the bitterness of their points of view. But, there truly are times and people about whom we just insist on saying, in all of its coldness: "I can't forgive her. Anybody else, but not her".
Seventy Times Seven
I am saying that forgiveness generally precedes the mending of a horrible hopeless relationship. If you have been harmed or you have harmed, or you are the inhabitant of a miserable cage of a relationship, a little prison that you both keep yourselves in together, then utter, unreasoning, anti-logical, irrational forgiving balm is an answer. This kind of forgiveness usually springs up from a Heart that is going through its own private transformation. Suffice it to say that it is wrenching to forgive the way deep forgiveness does. But in the end it is utterly peaceful. That involves transformation. Peter is famous for asking about the level of forgiveness that is required, and Jesus used the phrase "seventy times seven". Does it really mean 490 times and that will do it? No. Obviously it is a term meant to embody completeness and totality. 7 and 10 are nice round complete numbers, and the extra 7 adds an "ad infinitum" quality. You don't have to be a Christian to take this recommendation. Take it as a realization of how powerful forgiveness can be and how continually it must be used. I am not speaking of societal crime and civil wrongdoings and inappropriate conduct, I am speaking of what internal healing needs to be done so that individuals can reap the wonder of the freshness of reconciliation.
The River Lethe is a Great Cleanser
The human brain is a funny thing. We inherited a tremendous mechanism that maps danger and accounts for wounds. Why? Because we are designed for survival. "Watch out there is hole there" and "Don't go near that bend in the river, there is a troll there that will steal your children." Superstition and fear and our ability to log grief all get stored in the same parts of our brains along with the "ILLS WE SUFFER". If we could not forget those pains from life to life, of course the whole prospect of living would be unbearable. Astrology says we come from certain places and we are headed toward others, all for the resolution of our ills, and the building of character. Karma says that action tends to have a cyclical quality and "cause and effect" are spiritual as well as physical laws. As I have said, it is the Heart that is the player, not the Head.
Those Gnarly Old Oaken Roots That You Stub Your Foot On
If you have an impossible person who is never going to change, and always bring you grief by the mere fact that they show up in the room, then maybe that's who you should be trying to forgive. It is easy to forgive when you are otherwise close and want to have the relationship live. It is these gnarly old roots that you stub your foot on every day on your walk to the rest of your life. Maybe the two of you are "together" because your souls know you need to reconcile. The reason reincarnation is a productive therapy is because you can use it to cast yourself in a role in which you are at fault, as well as the other way around. One of those "gnarly old roots that I stub my foot on" came up in a conversation with a client. Just for the sake of the Imagination and an Exercise, the counselor suggested: "What if there is a powerful obligation on your part that you are not aware of, that if you did actually commit, it would strike you to your very core. What if that person is so vexing to you because you need to forgive yourself?" "WHAT A COMPLETELY ODD IDEA!" "Well, nothing else is working with this person, why don't you see how long you can bathe in the cleansing waters of forgiveness?"
Its Not You. Its Not Them. Its Shared Remembrance.
As we have discussed, it is truly all a mystery for the Head. You, you are a good person, you know its not you. And the other person, don't they have loved ones too? Sure, you might share some unrecallable event or situation. Whatever the mystery is, it really does not matter. You have to go to that place inside of you. Regardless of origins and causations, the Heart knows what the Heart knows. It feels what it feels. It is to the front door of your own Heart that you need to go. When pain is calling out, it needs to be addressed. Again, go to the Heart, for in the Heart, there is a shorter journey to the Soul.