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The War Within.

Updated on January 13, 2010

We all fight this battle

We all fight this battle inside us, even though we may not know it
We all fight this battle inside us, even though we may not know it
Sometimes it is hard for me to even believe I have been forgiven
Sometimes it is hard for me to even believe I have been forgiven

Though I know I am Forgiven I still have my douts


Lately my soul has been in turmoil. I allowed my self to be in the dark so long that at times it is painful to be in the light. I claim to be “born again” and yet I find myself clinging to falsehood and things that should be dead to me. I have confessed this to God and yet I feel the need to confess it to myself and my fellow man. I have not truly surrendered to the will of God.

This struggle helps me to understand what Paul was going though when he talked about the spirit is willing but the flesh is week. I admit all this not to belittle myself; instead, I do it so I can recognize “what really is going on.”

The Bible says, “The truth will set you free” but this society seems to be immersed in believe its own lies that it is easy to follow blindly along. It takes courage to call a spade a spade and stand up against evil. This is what people like Scott Life and the Pastor of my own church have shown me though there words and actions. Even though I never met Scott in person; the boldness of his words, have inspired me.

There are those who scoff at God, because they want to try and fit God in a test tube. The God that manifest himself to me; is infinite! I am not saying that I am special, for I know it is only though God’s great mercy and love, that I am even alive! If he would revel his love to me, who at one time persecuted Christians in seemlier way that Saul persecuted early Christians. I know that his sacrifice of his life can redeem anyone who allows him into there lives!

There was a time I was about as far away from God as a soul can get. For when I was young, I was deeply involved in Black Magic. This is something I have not talked about to much in the past, because it does not reflect who I am now. I am bringing this part of me out into the light to illustrate the point that God’s love is so mighty, that it can reach into a heart as dark as any abyss.

When I read about people on the Hub Pages Forms talking about the so-called shadow people, I know what they talking about. I use to seek them out and I want to make it clear that if you open a door to that dimension, it will be very hard to close it!

I know there are a lot people by now who are reading this, who probable think I got a screw lose. All I can say is that there are millions of people though out the world that has had some kind of experience with the Super Natural. It has even become the subject of “reality” TV shows, like Ghost Hunters.

From my experience, it is not only real but very dangerous. Since there is a God, there is also a Devil and he is active and roaring as load as he can! The problem is that people have been hypnotized by the Media and false beliefs to the point they do not even hear him! Let me make it clear, that I am not in position to judge. I am struggling with my own demons. What I am doing is sharing my personal experience. You can choose to believe it or not, just do not say you were not worn.

Every thing happens for reason. This “Recession” we are in, has been brought by decades of greed and waste. The problems in The Middle East, has been Prophesied for almost 2000 years. The Ultimate Chess Match that is being played against the forces of good and evil is intensifying. I do not know how long it will be before the game is finished, and yet, I feel it will be soon! The question I ask myself is; what side of the chessboard will I be on? How about you, do you know?


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    • magnoliazz profile image


      9 years ago from Wisconsin

      God is a stern, but he is very, very merciful too. He would even forgive Satan and the fallen angels if they only asked!

      There was this guy who had a near death experience. He went to hell, but when he finally called on the name of Jesus, Jesus came and got him!

      After that, this guy was really changed and became a minister. This story just proves that Jesus and God are willing to bend over backwards to have us with them and not in hell.

      Hang in there, YOU my friend are a HUGE miracle and proof of the love that God has for all of us.

    • Born Again 05 profile image

      Elisabeth Van Valkenburgh 

      10 years ago from Honesdale

      Jesus said, "... none can be snatched from the Father's hands!" Rest assured brother, having repented and professed your faith in the Lord, you are on the right side of the fence. Don't allow satan to tell you otherwise. You are correct in thinking this game is almost over. Many Christans(including myself) feel it also. We are also told to redeem the time while we wait. There are many unsaved souls we need to reach!

    • vanderhaven profile image


      10 years ago

      Looking forward to more hubs by you. It is always good to question and seek your way and have open eyes to see the truths around you.

    • Highvoltagewriter profile imageAUTHOR

      William Benner 

      10 years ago from Savannah GA.

      Thank you for commits Immartin, I think I must explain that I wrote that after I went though a experience that had be question who I am and what I believed. I felt that God was directing me to "get real" with my self and that is the "hub" that came out of that soul search. I normally am at peace with my self, I just know that for me it is important to always question my self and what I believe. It is a empowering to always look within and see "what is really going on!

    • lmmartin profile image


      10 years ago from Alberta and Florida

      Highvoltagewriter, Hello, I enjoyed this article very much. I'm one of those people quite at peace with herself and haven't felt this war within. As to the war outside, whatever side wins, I know that I am simply an expendable pawn, and always will be. Thank you for sharing your battle and I wish you victory in whatever way is best for you.

    • James A Watkins profile image

      James A Watkins 

      10 years ago from Chicago

      This is a fine expression of your soul, brother, and of the worldly plane in which we exist for now. I enjoyed reading your words.

    • Highvoltagewriter profile imageAUTHOR

      William Benner 

      10 years ago from Savannah GA.

      This one very hard for me to write at first,I do feel it was one that God wanted me to write.

    • profile image


      10 years ago

      Wow, I am flattered. It's always humbling to find out your words have such an effect on people. Glad to see you getting some Hubs out there. Good job


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