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To Love Is To Grieve

Updated on April 6, 2011
In Rama was there a voice heard, lamentation, and weeping, and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children, and would not be comforted, because they are not. Matthew 2:17-19 K.J.V.
In Rama was there a voice heard, lamentation, and weeping, and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children, and would not be comforted, because they are not. Matthew 2:17-19 K.J.V.

"And it was told Joab, Behold, the king weepeth and mourneth for Absalom.

And the victory that day was turned into mourning unto all the people: for the people heard say that day how the king was grieved for his son.

And the people gat them by stealth that day into the city, as people being ashamed steal away when they flee in battle.

But the king covered his face, and the king cried with a loud voice, O my son Absalom, O Absalom, my son, my son!" 2 Samuel 19:1-4 K.J.V.

If you have ever loved someone and they have died then you know what grief is. Grief is the sorrow we feel. It can come with death or with betrayal. But one thing is for certain - grief cannot come without love. People can cause you to grieve, can hurt you, if you care about them or if they hurt someone you care about. Without love there is no grief.

God Himself grieves. It is written to grieve the Holy Spirit is an unforgivable sin. This leads me to the question - Who has the power to grieve the Holy Spirit? Will it not be someone whom He loves? Could it be one who professes to know Him and then betrays Him? Or perhaps it is one who uses His name for his own purposes. This is unclear and so I tread softly when it comes to the Holy Spirit. I have no desire to grieve Him. I would say it is my greatest fear.

To grieve someone you love can cause you grief as well. When you have wronged someone and you know it, does it not cause you to toss and turn at night, does it not cause the sleep to flee from you and your head to pound? This is because as you have grieved a loved one, so you grieve. To love is to grieve.

How many times have I heard someone speaking of another whose spouse has died and they say "She still has not gotten over it." The deeper the love the deeper the grief. It is obvious to me. When people do not grieve, that is when I worry. That is when I think perhaps men's hearts do grow cold in these last days.

More and more I see of this generation a coldness. It is most prevalent among the youth. They seem to have no care but for themselves. A grandparent dies and they laugh and say they were old anyway. A friend passes away and they are nonchalant. Some might say "Not everyone expresses their grief in the same way" I understand this but when you are deeply in love, can you hide your smile? No. So if deep love is taken away will not deep sorrow replace it and will it not overflow, unable to be hidden?

"And he taketh with him Peter and James and John, and began to be sore amazed, and to be very heavy;

And saith unto them, My soul is exceeding sorrowful unto death: tarry ye here, and watch.

And he went forward a little, and fell on the ground, and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him." Mark 14 33-35 K.J.V.

Jesus said that He was exceeding sorrowful. His sorrow then shows itself -

"And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground." Luke 22:44 K.J.V.

Someone I know once said to me that death has never affected him and he does not understand why people grieve. He knows that death is a part of life and thinks grief is folly. He says he has lost people close to him but he thinks it is a waste of time to grieve. Honestly, I think he just didn't love them that much. Can I grieve for someone I didn't love?I haven't yet. Have you?

If you have a child and you do all for this child, then he goes and turns his back on you and your family will it not grieve you? Why? Because you loved him.

More and more I see cold hearts taking the place of the ones filled with love. When one grieved in the past, it was common to tear your clothes and pour ashes on your head so that all could see your grief. Later one wore dark, unappealing clothing so people would know that a loved one had been lost. Today funerals are a fashion show. Who is wearing the latest designer shades and the best suit. Whereas before the emphasis was to dress down, now it is to dress up.

The love that you feel for someone leaves you open to grief and you cannot expect to love and not be hurt. It is impossible.

When one knows where the soul goes after, grief is not so hard to bear. Understand this - grief does not go away because you are a Christian. It is a burden that comes with love. The burden though, becomes easier to bear. Knowing Christ brings hope and hope is what helps you to carry the grief. There are those who have died from grief. Their hurt is so great they just could not live.Christ Himself said His soul was sorrowful even unto death. Sorrow can kill.It is heavy, very heavy and we cannot lift it alone.

It is a part of life and there are still many more sorrows to come. How can we bear the griefs to come if we do not have hope? How can we have hope if we have not the true hope, Christ who first loved us? We cannot. It is that simple.



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      3 years ago

      Thank you for these words on writing about grief. I have been kenpeig a journal for several years now, but before I started this I had already lost or thrown out the diaries I kept as a child. My sister died age 7 in 1980, so I would have liked to be able to look back on what I wrote as I was growing up. I recently decided to start writing a book about my journey through her death and my healing journey to the present and I found it hard going! It's still on my to do' list, although, having written only a few pages, has slipped off the top of the pile. If you have any tips for me, I'd appreciate them!


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