Life After a War
Traveling through Life
Have you been through an internal or real War
Escaping
Even though I don't have many memories of my father, one of the stories I remember hearing repeatedly is the one of my father and uncle escaping from the Nicaraguan rebels. During the war in Nicaragua, so many men were chosen to pick up the bodies of the dead and put them in a pile. This was the job my father and uncle were in charge of, until it was done and then they would just kill the "workers." I remember hearing this story many times and thinking I would have never existed if my father would have just given up and let the rebels kill him.
I remember my aunts and uncles telling me this story many times. It was one that would make me appreciate all the strife and pain my relatives went through. So many people don't realize or really sit and wonder what it is like to go through a war and come out alive after it is all said and done. I have seen this in a lot of young teenagers and kids. They didn't grow up seeing or hearing it as much and so they just associate wars with history.
In reality, there are wars always happening all around us. This is an aspect of life most young people have failed to see. They are so much about their lives right now that they don't see what is going on around them. Of course, there are those families that have a veteran in their family or a grandfather who might have mentioned something about a war, but it still does not give them the full effect like living in a war zone.
It is rare when I watch movies, but when I do it is about something I want to learn about or experience. I never have liked scary movies or gruesome movies. I prefer to laugh than get scared. War movies kind of give you an insight on what it was like but it doesn't really hit home till you know someone who actually lived it.
Pretending
So when my father and uncle were done picking up all the dead bodies, the rebels told all the "workers" to line up. When my father heard this, he knew he had to get away immediately. He turned to my uncle and said, "I will not die on my knees." When they decided to run, my uncle was hesitate because he thought he would die running, which might be worse. After seeing all this they both decided to run. As they were running, a rebel ask them where they were going and my father just dismissed the question and told him that the another rebel was calling him.
How many times have we lied or made something up, to escape the consequences of something we might have done or not done? My father was fleeing and running because he knew what was to come and didn't want to suffer the consequences of something unjust, which he nothing to do with.
Many teenagers, kids, and even adults tend to lie to get out of something immediately and then realize maybe they should not have lied. Suffering the consequences of a lie is something everyone faces, yet the difference in the person is, if you learned a life lesson or not.
I have heard about men and women who have been through a war and have a hard time adjusting to their new surroundings. Some have to go through therapy when getting out a war zone, others just go home and face the their demons there.
Light at the end of the tunnel
After so many tragic and horrifying events some people never find peace. They never get to the point in their life when they are totally over all that pain, hurt, and guilt. One of the best therapy mechanisms for my father was turning to God and becoming his worker. My father took this and ran with it. Yes there were mistakes and horrible things he might have done, but who hasn't done something without thinking and then regretted it. The consequences of our actions will always bear fruit and flourish or wither and die.
My only hope is in the Lord, and that is something that never changes. Faith is something you believe yet don't see. Once you embrace and fully give up your life, family, finances, and soul to him, you will only keep going through that horrible unending cycle of tragic, painful, and holding on to burdens that are unnecessary.
Being Afraid
In the Bible, there is so many words but one of the most prominent are the words, "Fear Not." I think this is something that gives me comfort when I feel scared or concerned. The feeling is something everyone has but depending on how they cope with fear truly speaks about their character.
Over the years I have learned to trust his plan for me. Everyone's is different and has its own design but actually obeying and doing what he asks of you is the key to your blessing. Some may have many blessings but have had to say so many overcoming moments. I was fortunate to not go through so many horrific events that I was able to grow faster and embrace my path.
It is up to you if you want to keep on going or surrender and let "Jesus take the Wheel." Carrie Underwood song is one that I have heard and enjoyed.
Thank you God
© 2015 Aysleth Zeledon