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Whether It's Prophecy, Intuition or Just Educated Guesswork, Foretelling The Future Can Suck!

Updated on November 2, 2014

A lot of folks think being able to foretell the future is one awesome ability. Now, I'm not one of these people, if for the simple fact I have actually had insights to future events. Now I do not think I am a prophet; I don't even know exactly I would call my ability - the gift of prophecy, being in-touch with human intuition or the capacity to make simple educated guesses that sometimes come true. But I will say that very often, seeing "prediction" turn into reality can be a downright downer.

For the sake of succinctness here, I'll refer to these sudden insights of future events simply as "the thang". Maybe that's not the most ear-catching of terms, but it happens to me, so I'll call it whatever I want, right? Anyway, I did not always possess "the thang", at least not regularly. There were a few hints in my childhood of something coming, though I didn't really think about it back then. There was an incident with a friend I had not seen in a couple of years (since my father had retired from the service and we moved back to TN). The two of us had kept in touch by phone calls and letters and talked often about the day we'd be reunited. I dreamed about her one night; I was standing in a train depot and watched as she got on one of the passenger cars. As the train pulled out of the depot I waved at her through the window. She was smiling, but there was something sad about her smile. And when I woke up I felt terribly concerned and overcome with the sense I would never see her again. And I didn't. That evening my parents received a call from the girl's mother to inform us that my friend had died. It had been a genetic disorder, one neither my friend nor her parents had ever spoken of.

After I was grown "the thang" developed in its own way. There were times I knew when some friend or another was pregnant before she would even suspect. There was a neighbor of a friend that I met once, a Mr. Wang. I only met him once, and he was one incredibly friendly man, one quite active and health-conscious. But something seemed to cling to dear Mr. Wang; a shadow of sorts you could call it. I told my friend and she dismissed it, saying Mr. Wang was the healthiest person she knew. A week later Mr. Wang suffered a massive heart attack and passed away. Then there was the incident of the "ice cream man", a business-man here in my hometown. He came one day and opened an ice cream parlor. I took my older two kids in one day to get some ice cream, and on meeting this man something told me to get out and never let my kids near this guy again. I obeyed my feeling and told the kids to stay away from the shop. A few months later the ice cream man was arrested for exposing himself to some other children. He was convicted and put away. And to this day I am grateful for the warning from "the thang".

Despite the benefits one can surmise from "the thang", one very aggravating aspects is the knowledge that "the thang" isn't something that can be summoned at will. I don't stand much of a chance of foreseeing anything by lighting candles, burning incense or going out to hug a tree under the stars. Oh yes, "the thang" comes whenever it pleases, without warning, and yep, sometimes at the most inappropriate of moments. And when you think about it, this sucks. Imagine the money I may be missing out not doing predictions over the phone! $3.95 for the first three minutes, Mr. Smith, $!00 for every minute after that!

lol Not that I'd want to charge people for helping them. I do tarot and palm readings, but have never charged anyone. It seems to me that such skills are gifts (and perhaps curses at times), and to cheapen them with an exchange of money is prostitution in the most tawdry sense of the word.

To be totally realistic about the whole thing, I do believe very often what we call prophecy is inspired/created by just having the skill of determining a likely outcome based on information we already have. I certainly don't ascribe all prophecy to pre-determined factors or to logical conclusion of known events and trends. But just as being in denial of all things supernatural is cowardly, the denial that temporal information can't help in accurately predicting events is quite pompous.

There is one thing that true prophetic vision, the heeding of intuition and guessing by logical conclusion all have in common: being right can suck for the person possessing the so-called talent or gift. For no matter how awesome these abilities/talents may seem to others, let's face it: as human beings, there are some things we DO NOT want to come true. Even when something is inevitable, knowing it is coming can be prove miserable experience. And we'd give our eye teeth to trade off that weighty sense of impending doom and accompanying sense of helplessness.

If you doubt this feeling, examine the following examples for consideration. They are all "prophecies" I foretold -or, if you prefer, educated guesses or intuitive conclusions. I think you will see why the fulfillment of these things sure isn't anything to jump up and boast in joy about.

Jim Carrey would play "The Grinch"

I predicted this years before the live-action film was ever made. I mark it down to knowing how "Grinchy" Jim Carrey's smile can be. And granted, he is one very funny man and he's made several hilarious films. But dear goddess, "The Grinch" stunk worse than wet Who socks!

This dope-smoking prez would jack up fed. taxes on tobacco

And he did, almost as soon as taking office.

This annoying and insipid animated film

would be turned into

an annoying and insipid Broadway musical.

When her Disney Channel career days were finally over,

Miley Cyrus would go on to make choices that'd make Billy Ray Cyrus's mediocre career moves and poor parenting choices look brilliant by comparison.

Once Congress passed the DTV Act

and forced all of us to go from analog to digital broadcasts, local cable television reception would become as unreliable and screwed up as Congress.

When these Einsteins got ObamaCare passed..

my doctor would retire from medicine and the cost of my medications would go up. She did and it has, and these guys are still boasting about how better off we all are!

After hearing

Gwyneth Paltrow declare in 2005, "I would rather die than let my kid eat Cup-of-Soup", I told my husband that with a pompous attitude like this, we can expect more stupid remarks from this woman. And she has obliged that prediction so very well!

As soon as Vapes became popular among ostracized smokers

elected officials would start campaigning to tax them like cigarettes. A glaring case of damned if we do, and still strung up by the privates -and pockets- if we don't.

Actor Bryan Cranston, who never won an Emmy for

his hilarious portrayal of the lovable Hal on Malcolm In The Middle would finally receive Emmy kudos for the character of meth-dealing Walter White in the morally depleted, Breaking Bad.

The more influence this woman is given

over what is in school lunches..

the less like meals they look.

The Syrian rebels the Obama administration hungered to send arms to

would turn out more bloodthirsty than the Syrian government.

The "environmentally conscious" folks

that joined in on New York's Climate March would leave the city's streets less environmentally friendly than before they came.

ISIS-smitten killer Alton Nolen's act

of beheading a woman in cold blood would be designated "workplace violence" instead of terrorism by the FBI. Gee, who would have ever foreseen that one coming true?


Such bad acting that it hurts to watch. So of course the sadists at CW will have to pick it up for another season.

Ebola has come into the country?

and the public expects the President to place restrictions on international travel? LOL! Yeah.

Gas prices

Months ago I envisioned gas prices falling around the mid-term elections. Here's another prediction: look for them to go back up just after the mid-term elections!

During the outcries of rising global warming last spring..

I saw a much milder summer ahead. And I was partially right -it wasn't just milder, it was the coolest summer we've had here in YEARS. And although the global warming alarmists are still predicting the earth to melt at any moment, here's what the first day of November brought us here in beautiful Tennessee.

So, ok, this last accurately made prediction didn't really suck. But it is a wee bit chilly. And as there is some hot chocolate mix in the kitchen, I think I'll go make myself some. And you all have a nice night, filled with happy, happy visions of the future!

©November 2, 2014 by Beth Perry


Submit a Comment

  • bethperry profile image

    Beth Perry 3 years ago from Tennesee

    Hi Nell!

    I like the radio signal comparison! And maybe the paid "experts" can summon their gifts, but I take such claims with a grain of salt.

    I agree about Gwyneth Paltrow, though I wasn't aware of her comparing herself to bigger actors, but it really wouldn't surprise me. Not long back she was gushing all over the President, lol.

  • Nell Rose profile image

    Nell Rose 3 years ago from England

    I totally understand where your coming from on this, I do the pregnancy thang too! it is like a radio signal with a wobble, sometimes it does tune in and out as you say, you can't make it happen, which is where me and so called expert psychics disagree! and I agree with you, I think its like that program the mentalist, he sees one clue, then works his way through very quickly to the conclusion, just how I see some precognition, its called following your gut, and I am great at that too! As for Gwyneth Paltrow she really pees me off! did you know that she puts herself up their with Arnie and all the other top actors? I can never even remember her name! let alone the films she has been in, a wannabee with a big huge size ego! lol! love your humor, and yes some things really are there ready to be implemented by strange and stupid people! nell

  • bethperry profile image

    Beth Perry 3 years ago from Tennesee

    travmaj, I think a lot of folks do even if they don't come out and admit it. If they did, they might heed some better advice than we get from other places?

    Sorry you're not hearing hints of a winner. I have to admit, I'm pretty good at picking horses; but I attribute this completely to the fact my mom taught me how to size up horses at a young age (she raised horses).

    Thanks for dropping by :)

  • bethperry profile image

    Beth Perry 3 years ago from Tennesee

    Rhonda, you're right, and I suppose ignorance is bliss can be a good thing at times.

    Thanks much for reading and commenting!

  • travmaj profile image

    travmaj 3 years ago from australia

    You make very sensible and thought provoking points. I have to admit I like delving into prophecies that are well documented. I have to confess I do have moments of clarity when I sense something and document it correctly although not on a regular basis. Tomorrow is a huge horse race day here, The Melbourne Cup. My personal thang is not playing at picking the winner.

    Enjoyed your list of predictions and the humour.

  • Rhonda Lytle profile image

    Rhonda Lytle 3 years ago from Deep in the heart of Dixie

    This was interesting, funny and serious all at the same time. How cool is that? I too think the gift of prophesy would be a double edged sword at best. What good is knowing the future if you have no ability to alter it? It's not like just seeing the winning lotto numbers. Nostradamus sure knew a lot but he seemed very unhappy man. Ignorance is bliss as they say. As for your political predictions...the country needs to listen!

  • bethperry profile image

    Beth Perry 3 years ago from Tennesee

    Alastar, thank you very much. And I will :)

  • Alastar Packer profile image

    Alastar Packer 3 years ago from North Carolina

    You know how much I enjoyed reading this and your humorous predictions. Whether via "the thang" or otherwise you always deliver the goods. Accurate prescience can be a downer, but a gift nonetheless; to be watched over and used carefully. I've no doubts you do exactly that my friend, even if these matters are uncalled on.

  • bethperry profile image

    Beth Perry 3 years ago from Tennesee

    Hxprof, thank you so much and I really appreciate your visit!

  • bethperry profile image

    Beth Perry 3 years ago from Tennesee

    DDE, thank you very much!

  • profile image

    Hxprof 3 years ago from Clearwater, Florida

    Predictions, premonitions, prophecy - they can all give us glimpses into what's to come whether it be pleasant or unpleasant. Interesting piece. Voted up and interesting.

  • DDE profile image

    Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

    Great hub! The true meaning of reality. I enjoyed reading and learning from your helpful hubs.Voted up!