ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Why do I hide?

Updated on March 8, 2010
You can't see me...
You can't see me...
Desperate Hiding
Desperate Hiding

Nouwen has observed, “…nagging self-doubt is at the basis of so much depression in the lives of many people who are struggling in our competitive society.”

What an insightful observation. Self-doubt…the base of…depression, indulge me to go one step further – self…the base of…depression. This sounds hard, it is an awful thought, yet, I cannot dent this. Depression depends on absorption with self.

How often have I lived in fear of “discovery?” It makes me sad now to think of it and admit it. Yet, ironically, I am exactly what I “feared” everyone will discover…what I am trying to cover, (see my hub: Christian Who Are You? ) my depraved nature will never be anything but depraved…that is the truth. However, having said all that, Depravity is not all there is to me. Yes, I will always have the depraved nature, until I go home to glory, but even today there is more to me than that!

Jesus has entered my life! Jesus has raised my spirit from the dead in and through His death and resurrection. The greater part of me is Jesus! I live and breathe by His power and life.

Let me quote Galatians 2:20,

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”

Christ! This means the anointed, which is the living, Son of God, Jesus of Nazareth! God, who will one day, be seen again in the flesh. Oh, how amazing.

Let me write it another way…

I have been crucified with the Anointing and I no longer live but the Anointing lives in me! This is incredible. God hears me because His Anointing lives in me in the form of the Spirit. It is by His power, wisdom, and strength that I live. He knows what is in me. When I was still an unregenerate sinner He chose to save me (Ephesians 1:4), heal me, separate me, and make me holy by His holy life and presence. I am holy because He is holy and lives in me. It is nothing of myself. There is nothing in me that is holy except the Spirit of the living God.

The question then becomes,

Do I want people to Jesus or see me?

Am I willing to let all that comprised me – dreams, ambitions, loves, fears –die?

Am I willing to take up the dreams, purposes and loves of Jesus?

Am I willing to be His instrument of use on the earth?

Am I willing to be used by the Living God, Jesus?

There are many songs in the Church repertoire that we often sing that has the thought, “Jesus use me…” I sing them often from a sincere heart. But…what do I mean what does Jesus mean? Do I mean use “me” as in all that “I” am, “my” purposes through “my” abilities, gifts etc. Or as Jesus means as in use me as an “empty” vessel, devoid of the “my” and filled with the “His;” His abilities, His gifts, His wisdom, His strengths. There is a tremendous difference here.

One glorifies me – and “I” can be assured I will get some credit.

The second glorifies Jesus, glorifies God – and He gets all the credit.

I have understood “use me” all wrong. Being an instrument, a vessel in the hand of Jesus is so much different than,”tell me and I’ll get it done for you.”

Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus

See if I can say this right:

Jesus doesn’t want me to work for Him…

He wants to use me to work with…

One means I am alive and in control…

The other means Jesus is alive and in control…

A living sacrifice (Romans 12:1)! Living because He fills me – Jesus, the Spirit of the Living God, three in One, fills me.

© 2010 UlrikeGrace

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • UlrikeGrace profile imageAUTHOR

      UlrikeGrace 

      8 years ago from Canada

      I am in agreement with you coffeesnob! Without Him I am nothing...

      May Father bless you...

      Ulrike Grace

    • profile image

      coffeesnob 

      8 years ago

      Ulrike,

      I want Him to be in control to work with Him not for Him. I want Him to be alive in me - always!

      "I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me." Oh what a Savior

      thanks for this inspiring hub

    • profile image

      rls4immanuel 

      8 years ago

      Ulrike Grace: John the Baptist gives us an excellent example of this when he said "He must become greater and I must become less." Very good to be seeking to be a humble servant of Jesus!

    • UlrikeGrace profile imageAUTHOR

      UlrikeGrace 

      8 years ago from Canada

      THanks RevLady and may He continue to show His glory through you!

      UlrikeGrace

    • RevLady profile image

      RevLady 

      8 years ago from Lantana, Florida

      AMEN UlrikeGrace, a great revelation of how God operates in our lives. We are merely the vessels or instruments through which God uses us to accomplish his will. All glory to God for He is worthy!! Thank you for sharing this marvelous insight.

      Forever His,

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)