World Spinning and the Tears Swell
Let the panic out
World spinning off its axis,
while in modes of gross distinction.
Right, no wrong, good, no bad,
stained, in righteous indignation.
And the tears swell, Let the panic out, let it out, let it out!
Panic ~ Red
Hold me now!
Assuming species, thus believing,
self-preserving as a means to an end.
Limiting our call to action,
to share The Story with a friend.
And the tears swell
Ridiculous bound in earthly chatter,
unknowing or remembering when,
His blood poured out was all that mattered,
and all the matters in the end.
And the tears swell
Little do we know our purpose,
sadly seeking less and less,
with fresh blood dripping all around us,
slipping deeply, tangled mess.
And the tears swell
Stop the volume, cool the temp,
helping to control the ice,
pouring over the earthly fire,
grasp firmly to the living life.
And the tears swell
Hold me Now, til the fear is leaving! I am barely breathing; I need you to catch me!
And the tears swell
Hold Me Now ~ Red
Blood poured out has made us free
The earthly stain has nothing binding,
for belief has set us free.
Presumptive denial of grace sufficient,
rarely do we look to Thee.
And the tears swell
Blameless by His burden taken,
broken as He paid the price.
His blood made free the world shaken,
whence freedom came from sacrifice.
And the tears swell
Remember when we called His name,
for once we sought Him readily.
Denying in the wake of shame,
shuts the door to trusting Thee.
And the tears swell
He made the precious sacrifice for a world lost to thee!
In the world not but not the ordinary world
Sad paradox to disobey,
aloof we move to a distant place.
Shake us loose from this chaos,
remind us of your perfect grace.
And the tears swell
Though we know of our disdain,
deserving nothing as we flee.
We battle propaganda made,
against the precious word of Thee.
And the tears swell
Amazed at love in distribution,
amongst the shattered world seen.
Knowing God is the solution,
looming Spirit sets us free.
And the tears swell
The earthly barrier will awaken,
the light above will shine so grand.
We will reach it then He takes us,
to our home and Heaven land.
And the tears stop!
We survive and do not cry for yesterday, as we live for nothing in the ordinary world, but for the extraordinary heavenly home!
RED ~Ordinary World
Comments
AUTHORCatherine ~
Thank you for your comment, your time and your advice. You're awesome!
Nicely done. I like the changes you made to the poem. Now write the next one.
- AUTHOR
Thank you MsDora :)
"Little do we know our purpose." That verse touches me deeply, although the entire poem is profound. And your solution is right on! Thanks for this powerful presentation.
- AUTHOR
Catherine ~
Thank you so much for your input, I appreciate the critique so very much. I went back and changed the line and it flows so much better. It's so nice to have another pair of eyes on a piece. After reading your hub of the day on Poems, I knew you would have some good insight. I am not skilled in this area of poetry, but have a passion for sharing my heart, so again, thank you. You were so kind to check it for me. God Bless
- AUTHOR
DDE ~
Thank you for your time and caring about the subject, so glad it matters to you, many blessing to you :)
I thought this was an excellent poem. I loved your use of repetition. You used rhyme very well--it was subtle. Very good topic also--a poem should always have a message. Since you asked for a critique in your email, I have one suggestion. Having committed to rhyme and structure, I feel you need to use it in every stanza. The "Amazed at love in distribution" stanza drops the rhyme.
You have shared such beautiful words.
- AUTHOR
Thank you Jodah, this comment means so much to me. I was hoping the message would be seen by at least one. Now I am so blessed to see it did its service. Peace and blessings to you :)
What amazing poetry. The rhyme and rhythm is outstanding and the message so important. Tank you for writing and sharing this The Stages of ME. Voted up.
10