becoming a new creature
finding the new "Christian" me
I have to tell you the old cliché, yes I do, Here it goes, " I don't know who I am". Okay, now lets break that down a little. I know several things about myself.
I know I am sold out to Jesus.
I know I love Him more than anything.
I know I am a child of God (Repented, Baptized in Jesus name, Filled with Holy Ghost)
I know I love my church and church family.
Now, let's continue on with the thought "I don't know who I am".
I know some of who I am obviously. What I don't know, is how that relates to who I used to be.What to bring with me, and what to leave behind.
When you spend your life (Even as a so called Christian) Living a life more of sin than that of daily repentance and submission to God, you take on characteristics of that life. Those characteristics relating to sin should obviously be put away. But what about the other things that you just aren't sure about. For instance, Dirty jokes obviously are a no, but how do you know what is acceptable to laugh at. I know, the spirit of the Lord leads us to all righteousness. But just because I'm not immediately convicted, does that mean it's okay?
I find myself having to rediscover almost everything about me. I used to be funny, in a really goofy belligerent way. So, how do I be funny and make sure I don't go back too far. How do I crack jokes and not risk slipping into the yester years of too much world.
I used to be sarcastic, but how do I know how much sarcasm is actually acceptable? There must be a fine line between joking and actually offending someone. So where is that line? Again, I know the Holy Ghost leads, but there are somethings that take time to change.
I don't cuss anymore, but saying "freaking" Or "crud" while to me is a huge improvement, to someone else it might be offensive. So while I'm not necessarily convicted yet, I need to be sensitive to the feelings of others.
I used to have a serious problem with identity in a whole other way. I struggled with lesbian tendencies, and that is something I definitely repented of. But, when you have spent your whole life acting like a man, how do you instantly become feminine?
In not knowing how to act, sometimes I find myself just shying away and hiding. Stepping back and not having a personality at all, because I'm afraid to mess up.
So you catch my point.
I am a new creature, but some things must be learned. I personally don't feel I should go out and get another tattoo,, but what do I do with my old ones?
Things like this are often overlooked by so many Christians who have been in it there whole lives. We need to be understanding of those who have just come to the Lord. Sometimes a new creature doesn't happen over night. The big stuff, yes. That changes almost immediately. But there are smaller things that people might need help with.
If you have a problem with something, take them to the side and in a kind and loving Jesus way, tell them. But don't despise someone for something they may not completely realize is wrong.
And then again, we becoming new creatures should not use this as an excuse to continue to do things that we ARE convicted of.
So I guess in saying "I don't know who I am" It's really saying "I don't know who Jesus wants me to be completely yet".
It really can be a learning process!