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No Date This Valentines Day?

Updated on July 27, 2015
Beth Buckley profile image

Beth has a Master's Degree in Physical Therapy and currently helps others through the body mind connection at Whole Body Synchroflow.

Well, Me Neither, And It's Not So Bad

I don't know about you, but I do not have a special somebody in my life right now. After being married to a man who could care less about Valentine's Day (we're currently in the divorce process), I have to admit that I have never really had a spectacular V Day, or even a special one. For me, it has to do with something called self worth. Because I didn't feel that I deserved it all these years, I have yet to experience my ideal heart-to-heart connection.

I have also grown to realize that what matters the most in life is self love, so this article is about just that, giving to yourself what you desire for Valentine's Day, or any day. With a connection to the love inside your own heart, you can have the best Valentine's Day ever. Please read on to find out more and remember to rate this, give your comments and share!

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How About You?

The Valentine's Date Pic
The Valentine's Date Pic

Do You Feel Down Because You Don't Have A Date For Valentine's Day?

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Hearts and Hearts and Hearts
Hearts and Hearts and Hearts

On Loving Yourself

Loving yourself is an important factor in attracting the love of your life.

When we give to ourselves first then we are able to give to another. This is something that many women, including myself, don't understand until later in life. The earlier you get it and then do it the better. Otherwise, you will continue to attract what you do not like about yourself. This is the basic premise of the Universal Law of Attraction.

Have You Heard Of The Universal Law Of Attraction?

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Birds of a feather flock together.

Abraham Hicks on The Universal Law of Attraction

"Everything in your life and the lives of those around you is affected by the Law of Attraction. It is the basis of everything that you see manifesting. It is the basis of everything that comes into your experience. An awareness of the Law of Attraction and an understanding of how it works is essential to living life on purpose. In fact, it is essential to living the life of you that you came forth to live.

The Law of Attraction says: That which is like onto itself, is drawn. When you say, 'Birds of a feather flock together,' you are actually talking about the Law of Attraction."

Abraham Hicks - Law of Attraction

This book will help you to not only understand the Law of Attraction, but also to become a master at manifesting what you truly desire.

This Valentine's Day

Love Yourself!

The Soulmate Secret - Arielle Ford

This book teaches you to become a magnet for love, your true love.

Arielle Ford - The Soulmate Secret Blog

Water Lily Pic
Water Lily Pic

"Dear Soulmate Manifesters,

If you are single this holiday season, I'd like to offer you my three-step guide for making it a super-special time of year. First, for those of you who are sad, depressed, angry, or resigned to the thought you will always be alone, let me offer you a very short exercise.

1) Get out the egg timer and set it for 5 minutes.

2) For 5 minutes close your eyes and dive deep into the feelings you are feeling and don't resist on any level, just allow yourself too embrace the full (possibly unpleasant) experience of your sadness, anger, doubt, etc. Look and see where in your body the feelings reside, feel them and then see if you can feel them even more intensely.

3) Breathe deeply during this process and with each exhale, breathe out the emotion while silently saying to yourself thank you and goodbye. Chances are before the 5 minutes are up, all or most of these feelings will have dissipated. This is because you have stopped "resisting" feeling those feelings and you allowed yourself to be fully present with what was true for you in that moment.

Second: Now, get out your journal and make a list of three things you can accomplish between now and the end of the year that will make someone else's life better. This can be anything from taking an elderly neighbor shopping, to serving food at a shelter, to a variety of random acts of kindness.

My favorite line from A Course In Miracles is this: "The only thing that can be lacking in any situation is that which you are not giving." Want more love? Give love. You get the idea.

Finally, decide to create a memento of this holiday season that you will GIVE to your soulmate someday. It can be a special letter, photographs, a scrap-book or, my favorite, get out your video camera and make a short film that shows where you went and what you did for Holiday 2009 that you will want to share with him or her. This is an excellent way to "live as-if."

Please email me at soulmatesecret@yahoo.com and let me know what you decided to do to make this a joyous holiday.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle"

Time to Pamper Yourself

Self love includes being gentle, kind and patient to You It also includes doing things for yourself that you would love a significant other to do. Even if you could care less about the Law of Attraction, it simply doesn't make sense to postpone your own enjoyment, now does it?

One of my favorite indulgences is to have a professional pedicure. I simply love everything about it from the hot foot bath to the massage chair and the pretty pink nail polish. If this doesn't float your boat then find something that does. The only important thing is that you feel 100% great while your doing it!

Pampering Ideas

Here are some fun ideas for pampering yourself this Valentine's Day.

  1. Have a luxurious manicure and pedicure at the local spa.
  2. Buy yourself some of your favorite chocolates.
  3. Bring home a dozen long stemmed roses in your favorite color.
  4. Rent your favorite romantic movie and snuggle in with some popcorn and candy.
  5. Light some scented candles and take a long, hot bath while listening to relaxing music.
  6. Treat yourself to dinner at your favorite restaurant. Invite a friend or go solo.
  7. Shop for something special for yourself. This could include clothing, accessories, jewelry, perfume, music, and personal decorations.
  8. Is there a special trip you have been wanting to go on? Book it as a special treat for yourself.
  9. Spend time in nature at your favorite park or go somewhere new.
  10. Put on some of your favorite music and dance, dance, dance.
  11. How about a massage? This will do your body wonders.
  12. Buy some heart shaped jewelry for yourself.
  13. Wear as much pink clothing as you can and see how this feels as it opens your heart chakra.
  14. Are you artistic? How about painting, drawing or taking a loving picture and then hanging it in your bedroom as a reminder to love yourself.

Are You Burnt out on Love?

If you are a normal person, chances are that you've been burnt by the love bug at least once. If it has happened so many times that you are now not the least bit interested in romantic love and you feel like something is missing in your life or something is not right, then it's time to find out what energy inside of you needs healing.

You can find a therapist or simply begin reading self help books that you feel good about reading. Most likely, your intuition will lead you in a good direction for healing if this is your intention. And don't be surprised if very, very old stuff comes up for you during this process. It's natural for things that happened to us when we were children and even infants to surface for clearing.

Dr. Phil - On Healing A Broken Heart

Big Flower Pic
Big Flower Pic

"There's no question that breakups can be painful, and that it's difficult to trust and love again. But there are ways to get past the pain. Here is some of Dr. Phil's advice for healing the heartbreak.

1. In time, it is absolutely vital to put the pain behind you and move forward with your life and love. Otherwise, you are giving away your power to the people who hurt you.

2. Sometimes the relationship you need to rescue is the one with yourself. Moving past a breakup is about you, not your ex.

3. Don't start thinking about being friends right away — if ever. You have to be your own friend first.

4. Grief is a process to go through, not a destination in which to wallow. In a process, you keep putting one foot in front of the other, and each little step is part of your healing.

5. Define your real intentions. Are you trying to move past the breakup, or are you hoping to get back with your ex? You won't move on until you've accepted that the relationship is over.

7. Be careful about the language you use. When you use catastrophic terms like "nightmare," "terrible," and "horrible," you're bound to spend time dwelling on the negative. Focus on what you can do.

8. Sometimes you can't get over being hurt until you know you've been heard. Give yourself permission to express your anger and sadness.

9. Don't embarrass yourself or put yourself in a situation where you'll look back and feel humiliated. Driving past your ex's house, making dozens of phone calls or e-mailing non-stop is no way to let go of the past or come out with your head high.

10. Learn to trust again. Whenever you get involved in a relationship, you know there's a risk. Don't let a bad experience keep you from living your life to the fullest. You can go through life suspicious, or loving and laughing."

Love Smart - Dr. Phil McGraw

This is a wonderful resource for healing. I've read it and enjoyed Dr. Phil's sense of humor and practical approach.

Love Smart: Find the One You Want--Fix the One You Got
Love Smart: Find the One You Want--Fix the One You Got

If you are burnt out on love or think there is no such thing as the ideal mate then this is a must read for you.

 

The Bottom Line

When we stay in a state of unhappiness, we draw more unhappiness.

When we stay in a state of loneliness, we experience more loneliness.

If we choose to change our thoughts, we can manifest our greatest wishes.

All it takes is intention followed by action.

Ronda Lee - On Loving Yourself

Ronda is a dear friend of mine who recently sent me this loving message:

""Feeling bad won't change this scenario. I trust that love will return to my life if I'm in harmony with the loving Source. I choose to feel good right now and focus on what I have, rather than what's missing.

All stressful thoughts represent a form of resistance you wish to eradicate. Change those thoughts by monitoring your feelings and opting for joy rather than anxiety. Remember that your natural state is joy. You are a product of joy and love; it's natural for you to experience these feelings. Remind yourself as frequently as necessary: I come from peace and joy. I must stay in harmony with that from which I came in order to fulfill my dreams and desires. I choose to stay in my natural state."

Do You Want More

BUT DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START?

If you are saying to yourself, "Fine, I get it. I want and need to change my thoughts, but how?" then here is your answer:

Set your intention each morning when you awaken to be conscious of your thoughts and to catch the ones that pop up that are negative.

Post self-affirmations around your house, saying things like, "I love Me" and "I am lovable and loving" and "I am beautiful..."

When you walk past a mirror, take the time to stop and smile at yourself while saying out loud that one of your affirmations.

When you find yourself thinking ugly thoughts, stop yourself and replace them with loving thoughts.

Ask your angels and spirit guides to help you with this process.

Louise Hay - On Self Love

"I Am a Radiant Being of Love

Deep at the center of my being there is an infinite supply of love. It is inexhaustible. I can never use it all in this lifetime. So I don't have to be sparing with it. I can always be generous with my love. Love is contagious. When I share love, it comes back to me multiplied. The more love I give, the more love I have. I have come to this world to be a love giver. I came in full of love. And even though I will share my love all my life, when I leave this earth, I will still have a full and happy heart. If I want more love, then I have only to give love. Love is and I am."

Recomended Louise Hay Publication

Today and Every Day

I LOVE MYSELF!

If You Are Alone This Valentine's Day - Please Share Your Response

Will You Try Any Of These Suggestions?

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Please share your comments and suggestions. Thanks!

Thanks for Reading!

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    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      Well, dating myself was fun while it lasted. Until I got married

    • Beth Buckley profile image
      Author

      Beth Buckley 4 years ago from Portland, OR

      @ChristopherBosw: Love the humor... and like ya know, it's about quality, not quantity :)

    • ChristopherBosw profile image

      ChristopherBosw 4 years ago

      Gotta tell you, likely there are dozens of men willing to fill in next month!

    • neilwjsmith profile image

      Neil Walter Smith 4 years ago from Portarlington, Victoria, Australia

      Thanks so much for your nice comment.

    • profile image

      Jazroockfree 5 years ago

      nice lens!thanks for Valentine's day great tips. I love Valentine's Day!

    • dc64 lm profile image

      dc64 lm 5 years ago

      This was beautifully done and very inspiring. It is the perfect start to any day.

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      A beautiful lens for Valentine's day with great tips.

    • christinsword profile image

      christinsword 5 years ago

      cute and uplifting lens. I was alone for several valentines days a few years ago; now here I am 4 years later happily married!