ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

The Jewish Wedding

Updated on September 22, 2014

The Jewish Wedding Demystified

I have seen a lot of TV weddings in my life. But very few of them are Jewish weddings.

It occurred to me that perhaps non-Jews are just as mystified by the customs of a Jewish wedding as I am by the customs of a non-Jewish wedding.

Disclaimer! The customs written about here are Ashkenazic (customs common to the Jewish communities originating from Northern and Eastern Europe). Sephardic (customs common to the Jewish communities originating in Spain and other Mediterranean countries) and Mizrahi (customs common to the Jewish communities originating in Asian and African countries) weddings would have some differences.

Leading up to the Wedding

Before the wedding, the couple separate for a time. The customs of the length of time vary from community to community. In some communities, the bride and groom don't see each other for a week before the wedding. In other communities, they don't see each other from the time the bride goes to the Mikva. Whatever the custom, there is a period of separation.

On the day of the wedding, Ashkenazic (pertaining to Jews from Germany and other Northern European countries) custom is that the bride and groom are experiencing a personal Yom Kippur (day of Atonement) so their sins are forgiven. This also means that they fast until the wedding. (Sephardic (pertaining to Jews from Spain and other Mediterranean areas) Jews do not have this custom).

Before the Ceremony


While there are several things that build up to the wedding day, the wedding day itself starts with the Kabbalat Panim (literally "receiving faces"). The bride and groom aren't permitted to see each other before the wedding (customs differ on the length of time, varying mostly from a day or two to a week). So the bride (Kalla) and groom (Hattan or Chosson) are in separate rooms at this point.

In the groom's room (called a tish -- table -- in Yiddish), the men sit around and speak words of Tora (The law as brought down from Moshe -- Moses -- to the people on Mount Sinai). They also finalize the Ketuba (the marriage contract) by having the last letter filled in and having witnesses sign it.

At modern weddings, the Tana'im (engagement or betrothal) is often done at the tish -- the Tana'im used to be done up to a year before the wedding, but because it's hard to break off an engagement when the Tana'im was done first, that step was added to the wedding.

The Bedecking

After the Tana'im, the men (and some musicians) dance with the groom into the bride's room where he pulls her veil over her face. The father of the bride gives her a blessing from Psalms (this is the blessing that father's give to their children every Friday night at the Shabbat (Sabbath) table). The groom puts the veil on to avoid what happened to Yaakov (Jacob the Patriarch) when his father-in-law substituted Lea for her younger sister, Rahael.

The Huppa (Wedding Canopy)

The Huppa (Wedding Canopy) represents the home the couple will build together.

Under the Huppa the bride and groom finalize their nuptials. The Ketuba (wedding contract) is read and signed, the groom gives the bride a ring (the groom says "behold, you are sanctified to me with this ring according to the law of Moses" in Hebrew). The couple drink some wine (after a series of brakhot -- blessings) and then the groom breaks a glass to remind us that even in our greatest joy we are sad about the destruction of Jerusalem (2000 years ago).

The couple then go to the Yihud room (the room where they get to be alone). They then come into the reception area where they are swept away by family and friends and the first round of dancing takes over.

There is a lot of dancing and some weddings have "schtick" (for example, jugglers, fire eaters, baton twirlers, etc.).

Sheva Brakhot

At the end of the wedding (as under the Huppa) Sheva Brakhot (7 blessings) are said. These blessings are part of the Birkat HaMazon (Grace after Meals) said after the meal over a glass of wine. The glass of wine is passed around through the guests to 7 people the couple want to honor and each on says one of the Brakhot (blessings).

For the next 7 days (including the wedding night), Sheva Brakhot continue, usually at the homes of friends, who throw these parties for the new couple. In order to spread the joy of the wedding around, someone who wasn't at the weddings should be included in the guest list each night.

The Sheva Brakhot help ease the couple into their new life together. They are considered newlyweds for the next year.

Compugraph Designs store on Facebook

This tile necklace would make a nice gift for bridesmaids.

You can see all Compugraph Designs Jewelry Designs here.

Did this help you understand the Jewish Wedding customs? - What else would you like to know?

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • Gypzeerose profile image

      Rose Jones 

      8 years ago

      Lovely lens, pinned to my weddings board as I am sure this will be of interest to some people about to be married.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Great topic and article! I for one find it hard to find what to wear to weddings as there's not a lot of styles out there that are modest and attractive. That's why I like to shop at because they offer many tznius outfits for women who want to be stylish and modest.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      I have never had the pleasure of being invited to a Jewish Wedding ... so good to have such a detailed account of Jewish Wedding customs. Very interesting!

    • Petalm profile image


      9 years ago

      Great lens and fun of correct information.

    • profile image

      rdgubaten lm 

      10 years ago

      Very interesting topic (Jewish Wedding) for a beautiful lens. I liked it.

    • profile image


      10 years ago

      Thanks for this very clear presentation of some of the rituals associated with Jewish weddings. Blessed

    • profile image

      Jhangora LM 

      10 years ago

      Certainly it did. Thanx a lot!

    • profile image


      10 years ago

      Nice Lens! For wedding locations, please visit wedding locations

    • profile image


      11 years ago

      Hi, I'm a wedding musician (play at a lot of Jewish weddings), AND the mother of a bride (date one year from tomorrow) so I was very interested in your lens, thanks for it.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)